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Upset for the first time...

So today I had my last dietary appointment. I was down 7 lbs since my last appointment and received all my information for my pre and post op diets. Hoping for surgery in early March. I was having a good day! I came home and was talking to my boyfriend about it. So far I have only told him and my parents (who are very supportive) I just don't feel like I want to tell anyone else yet. So, as we (my boyfriend and I) were talking about I said okay, just don't say anything to anyone because I'm not ready to really tell anyone yet and he got a funny look on his face. I said "what??" He said "Well, I may have told just one person." Well of course it was his mom. Probably the last person on my list to tell. Her response "She doesn't need that!" It's just very frustrating. Yes, I am 5'4" and weigh 236lbs I do not look like I weigh that much but that is not the point, I stil FEEL like I weigh that! It was just very upsetting for her to say I don't need it. This is my choice. So I just wanted to vent a little.

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Dont let his mother get to you. It's none of her business. It's not like you have to answer to her. This is your decision and believe me you will be happy you did. Good luck on your journey.

It could be worse! She could have said that it's about time cause you have such a pretty face! :D Whenever I hear that said whether it's about me or someone else, I just want to stab someone! She obviously cares about you and doesn't see what you see and probably has no idea the conflict and unhappiness that you endure because your weight. In the past when I lost 165 lbs and some people said that I didn't remember me being that large all I could think was that they were either being terribly polite or they had lost their minds! Perhaps you should consider giving her a chance and she may turn out to be someone to turn to for support and be your biggest cheerleaders. BTW, congratulations on your weight loss and good luck on your surgery! You got this!

  • Author

Thanks so much! I just needed some reassurance! Oh, Instyle98 I was JUST talking about the "but you have such a pretty face" the other day. I can't stand that!!! Anyway, you guys are great, thanks again!

Also congratulations on your marriage because that woman sounds just like a mother in law!!!!!!!

MIL from H E L L!

  • Author

Also congratulations on your marriage because that woman sounds just like a mother in law!!!!!!!

MIL from H E L L!

I know!!! We have been together for 6 years so I should be use to her by now!!!

my MIL and GMIL both said the same thing. But now that I have been banded and have lost 27pounds they are telling me how good I'm doing. It's crazy the reactions you get from people- especially family, they're just concerend and can't understand what the band does and why it will work over good ol fashoined diet and excersice. Don't take it too personally- I;m sure she is just concerened and has a lot of questions about the process.

Best wishes!

My husband told everyone, even people that I have never met. He said it was because he was proud of me for making this decision, while the real scoop is that he just does not have any privacy filter, at all. Due to him telling everyone I have strangers emailing me questions, or coming over and asking me questions. Meanwhile our family members have mixed reactions. My inlaws are being very supportive and praying for me, while my parents are wanting me to cancel the surgery date and do this on my own. My parents are the ones that always criticize with the comment of "our chunky daughter with the pretty" face. The ultimate insult was the statement they made on their last visit. If I had been 115 pounds I could have landed me a wealthy husband and be living a better life, "you know you have the face and boobs to attract one". Yes my husband was sitting right there at the time. But the main point is that mixed reactions are part of this journey, but the journey is mine and mine alone. No one else is putting in the time or the energy, so their opinions don't matter. Stay positive within.

I used to get upset by the pretty face comments but then realized people say things about everyone no matter what their weight. Like the Butter face comments...when someone has a hot body but her face is not pretty. I think that is even meaner and more insulting.

I don't want my mother in law to know, and my husband has no privacy filter when it comes to his mother/family. So in the beginning, before I even went for a consult, I said DO NOT tell your parents or anyone. At first he was like don't worry I wont...I felt like he was embarassed to tell them I need WLS to lose weight. Now he is used to the idea and more educated on the topic, I feel like he sees how hard I am working and how worth it it was, and he's so proud of me, I'm scared he might slip and tell them and I keep saying, are you sure you didn't tell them?

At least you know they know:) THere's always a bright side.

Good luck to you! We get the band for ourselves and no one else.

Others who do not have our food eating issues don't understand that we need help. "Irene just reduce your calories" "Calories in and out calories out" yada yada I have heard it all. This is why only my mom, dad and sister know and no one else. Because people without eating disorders just don't get what we so through and suffer through.

Keep us posted!! I wish you the very best!!

;)

I only told my son that I was getting the lap band. I don't think it's anyone's business, but I knew he would be supportive. My MIL once said to me (when I weighed 140 pounds) "how can you have such small feet and wrists when the rest of you isn't?" The things that just pop out of people's mouths is incredible! Best of luck with your journey :rolleyes:

  • Author

I LOVE this place and all of you guys for your stories! I don't feel so alone! I just finished my psych eval today so now I just have to wait for them to send the letter to my doctor's office and then everything will get sent to the insurance...for hopefully an early March banding!!! Thanks again everyone!!

  • Author

I used to get upset by the pretty face comments but then realized people say things about everyone no matter what their weight. Like the Butter face comments...when someone has a hot body but her face is not pretty. I think that is even meaner and more insulting.

I don't want my mother in law to know, and my husband has no privacy filter when it comes to his mother/family. So in the beginning, before I even went for a consult, I said DO NOT tell your parents or anyone. At first he was like don't worry I wont...I felt like he was embarassed to tell them I need WLS to lose weight. Now he is used to the idea and more educated on the topic, I feel like he sees how hard I am working and how worth it it was, and he's so proud of me, I'm scared he might slip and tell them and I keep saying, are you sure you didn't tell them?

At least you know they know:) THere's always a bright side.

So true...the butter face comment IS more insulting! hahaha our situations sound similar! Now I keep asking him if he's said anything to anyone else and if he's for sure he ONLY told his mom. hahaha I keep reminding him NO ONE ELSE :) He's assured me he won't say anything to anyone else.

My sister said I was taking the easy way out...well I have news for her, being fat isn't easy either. The Lap Band isn't going to be any easier too. It takes work no matter the situation. People are so rude. I can't wait to see if people treat me any different when I have reached my goal.

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