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so sick of this



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My Dad IS the reason I got WLS. He died at 59yo weighing 400+. He had tons of complications due to his weight.

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@ ErinSue

Let me tell you a little story... I knew a man who for years made those types of comments. He told his daughter continuously that it's "willpower, " "commitment," "all in your mind", or worse personal "weakness"and all other kinds of ignorant bullshit commentary. This guy told his sister in law every Christmas when seeing her eat how she should check out the vegetable tray, and complemented his niece on her wedding day ( same woman's daughter) on her small frame as guaranteed future happiness for her husband. Total jerk this guy, years later this guy found out he had a hyper thyroid. Weight loss was easy for HIM. He did find it to be incredible that other people had difficulty as he had to eat continuously and still maintained his weight.

My point with this long story (that should have been shorter) is those people aren't you. They may not truly understand. Your happiness, your success is all you need to concern yourself with. ;-) As I am finding out, there are lots of people who do understand and will support you through the journey.

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Erin,

It sounds like your dad isn't supportive because of lack of knowledge. If his support means that much to you try to get him to go to your doctors appointments with you or read up on the lap band and how it works, the rules and lifestyle to be successful. You might fine he comes around with a little education.

Bottom line is you need to do what is right for you. If your dad can't support you find the support elsewhere, other family members, friends, this site, etc.

I wish you the best success and if you need support please come here. There are some fabulous people here that will love and support you every step of the way. ((((hugs))))

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No you don't need his blessing but I understand how important it can be to gain parental support. He needs some education. My dad was against it until I explained to him how uncomfortable I was with my weight that I could barely walk up the stairs without gasping for air, always worried about whether I could fit in a chair, hard to take a bath and get out, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc. I explained I could continue on the path of yoyo diets but that I was unhealthy and needed help. He also watched a documentary on I think 60 minutes or one of those shows and learned that it is safe, effective, and more and more recommended for weight loss. He has become very supportive and wants to help (to the point of annoyance). He still adds in little digs about all he has to do is stop eating when he has a few pounds to lose. I just tell him he is fortunate to be able to do that. Funny thing is he has been obsessed with my weight as long as I can remember. I did not ask for his approval but rather just old him what I was doing after the appointment was already scheduled. Good luck and I hope you make the right decision for yourself and not allow others to keep you from being a healthy happy person.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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