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Guilty For Having The Surgery



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I am having my Lapband in couple weeks. I am really feeling guilty about it. My daughter is over weight and I feel like it is my fault for the way she is. How can I convince myself that the surgery is for me and that is what i want and that I want to feel good about myself.

Future lapband patient and hope to be very successful.

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Dont feel guilty. Think about it as helping yourself first so you can help your daughter next?!

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I agree with PG, help yourself and learn a healthier life style and bring those things into your home. You start having healthier choices and daughter will automatically be able to shed lbs. Taking weight off is so much easier when you're younger. It was damn near impossible for this 56yo woman!

Your daughter deserves to have a healthy mother!

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Sounds a bit like me. My oldest daughter is over weight too. She was happy for me and she said she was wanted to do the pre op diet with me to be supportive (so I won't feel alone). I am a huge influence on her and she watches me very close. I was banded more than 5 weeks ago and she can see my changes.

I guess what I'm saying is if your daughter watches you like mine watches me, your daughter might start picking up on your eating habits. I don't know.

Good luck

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As mothers we often take the blame. The fact is we cant help others till we help ourselves. Once you begin to change your old habits and replace them with new ones your daughter can also pick up new healthier habits.

Good Luck

Wendy

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We can only take care of ourselves. If you eat healthy that is best you can do for your daughter.

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There is no reason you and your daughter cannot diet together.... I don't know how old she is....but surgery is a last resort... Maybe you can explain it to her that she won't need a band if she changes her eating habits now learns to live a healthy lifestyle with you.

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I am my fathers twin! We look alike and act alike! My mom calls us a pair of bookends! He got the lap band done about 3 and a half years ago and he's down 180 pounds! He is just becoming more of an inspiration to me. I looked up to him as he was on his journey. Still do! And it wasn't until a year ago that I decided to get mine. And having his support only made it 10x better! Your doing a great thing! And I honor you for your braveness!!

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When I started losing weight my youngest daughter gave up fast food and soda. She has given me some of her old jeans to wear. By the way I am wearing a 16 vs 22-24. You might be the inspiration your daughter needs.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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