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This waiting is hard.



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So I am still waiting till I have all the cash together to go to Mexico. I had it, and had everything planned and scheduled, but then got my job and it looked like ins would pay for it. So we spent some of the money when we moved. Then I lost the job because of DS being in the hospital and so I have to save it up again. Shouldn't take long, but this waiting is killing me. I constantly go back and forth between should I do it and should I try on my own. I have been trying on my own while waiting, and I will do great for about 4 or 5 days, then fall off the wagon so badly, it kills me. Our neighbor brought over a bunch of polish sausage that he had leftover from a grill out this last weekend. I ate a ton of it!!! I couldn't believe it! It was here, so instead of having my chicken and rice wrap, I ate polish sausage till i thought I was gonna puke! And then I told myself I should puke to get rid of it!

No worries, I didn't. But this is why I need this band. I have been doing so good the past few days. But then something happens and I learn again that I have absolutely no control. This is killing me. I have to get this band quickly. If I don't, I am not going to be around for my babies. I just wish all of my paychecks would come faster. LOL Then I am on the plane to Mexico!!

So I had to vent. Gonna go eat my healthy dinner of Wheat Spaghetti and Turkey Tomato sauce. I can't believe I am this hungry after all that I ate for lunch today. I hate being fat. Why do we do this to ourselves?

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Vent ON!

I used low interrest credit cards to get my band, It took a year to pay off but in that year I began to live again.

Before banding I was a bottom-less pit. I NEVER felt full. Now it's about 1 cup of anything solid (chewed very well) and I'm full.

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I understand the eating thing completely!!:help: I will do good for a few days and the scale (yes, I weigh every day) looks like it is going down and when WHAM I could eat the a$$ out of dead rhino...Nothing is enough. Or I will do well during the day and then at night, I am starving! I am waiting till the Dr. hears from my insurance co., then I have the phychological done and set up the day to be banded. It already seems like a long time and the Dr. office didn't get my test results back and ready to go to insurance until last week. I have no idea how long it will take for them to get back to the Dr. In the mean time, I am suppose to be losing 15 to 30 lbs before surgery. I keep going up and down the same 5 lbs over and over. Another of my problems is the way I work. I have 2 jobs and I wind up taking something to my evening job to eat. It is too late to eat at 9:30 when I get home, and too early before I go in, at 4:30. I usually get a salad to take on nights I work, but that gets old. Then I wonder what I will eat after the band. I usually take a Lean Cusine to school for lunch but they have to much rice and Pasta in them to eat after the band. I need to make large quantites of food when I'm off and then eat on it all week. I don't know how this will go after the band. My grown son lives with me, for now. He cooks occasionally, not much though. Then my mom lives in an assisted living place and when I'm off I try to go to see her and take her out to eat. I don' t have time to get anything done, I feel like I'm going crazy!!! At least when summer gets here, I will have a little more time off of school. But then again, I agreed to work summer school for 2 weeks...It never ends....

FunnyDuddies you are not the only one venting here tonight I guess!

Best of luck to all of us.

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Hi Amy,

I too used a low interest credit card to pay for my surgery. My hubby and I figured if we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together it would be worth the tighten of the belt for a year. You'll get there, I wish I had found my doctor a year ago. Who in Mexico are you going to? Wishing you the best.

susan:p

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I am going to go to Dr. Sanchez in monterrey. We are really excited about it. I can not put this on a credit card. I put away 2k to 3k a month into savings, so getting the money together is not an issue, it is just taking too long. LOL 2 months is agony when you want something so badly!! I was just having a hard day yesterday. I spent a lot of time looking at before and after pics, watched Dr. 90210 and saw a fat chick get a Tummy Tuck when she really needed to lose 50 pounds before hand, had a lot of work to do, which i then found out i did incorrectly, and needed to redo without pay (graphic design work from home). It was just a high stress day, and I really felt like i was losing it.

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screw it all. i just reset my date. May 27th. I have to get this done, and having a definite goal in mind will make it happen.

So there it is. My date is scheduled.

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The waiting is terribly hard. In late January I got my date for March 1 and was soooo disappointed that my surgeon didn't have availability in Feb. That month might as well have been a year. It took forever... for the first week or so, then it just became one more thing I'm waitig for, and before I knew it surgery was just two weeks away, then it was just Wednesday, then it was just tomorrow... before you know it you'll be there. :)

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wel forget the last post. LOL talked to dh. he said that may is out. and so is june. work is really busy for him and he has to be there. I would die without him. lol so now the new date is july 28th. like i told my mom. If i have to change it again to push it out, i am not having the surgery.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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