Keeping It A Secret

[BandedBettyBoop 36]

I just told my parents last night. I'm 28. I think they were in shock because they didn't ask nearly as many questions as I had anticipated. Maybe it was my delivery? "Oh, yeah, I'm getting a lapband" Very nonchalant. My mom's response was "no you're not! You know you can't drink alcohol with those things?" #classic

[destynee1 417]

I agree with all the ones that want to shout.. lol.. I have never posted and talked so much about anyting in my life and I am usually a pretty private person. lol.. I have just been so done with all the failures that this was something I was just so excited about I felt I had to share it. There were certain people I didn't want to know about it, and then I ended up telling them too.. can't believe how much I've opened up about this, it's actually made me feel better about myself. I have been soooo surprised with how much people are supporting me, so far I have not heard any bad comments, nothing but encouragement and good wishes and it makes me feel that much stronger.

4sweeties... Your will open up when YOU are comfortable with it. It really isn't any one's business what you are doing unless you feel it is their business. I just know it feels so good to be open about it. If that time comes for you, I hope you get nothing but encouragement and praises.. we all deserve that.. I can't wait to hear more from you and your journey!!

[bonmah77 20]

I hear you, I am having surgery on the 8th, and until my date was set the only people that knew were my husband and my boss (we are very close-2 person office). Since I have my date, I have told my daughter (grown) and my parents. I dont' want to hear the stories, good and bad and don't need to hear other people's opionions. This is a private decision. Don't feel guilty about your decision.

[stampwithbarb 7]

I have been pretty open to telling most people....not telling thru Facebook let but most likely I will. The part that I am not open to is the telling of the cost as we paid in full. BUT there is a lawsuit started due to doctor and insurance issues...one of my doctors refused to turn in his paperwork. Now I am wondering why he has not turned in the bills for insurance. I had a copay only to him for my dieting for 6 months. Due to this, insurance is refusing to pay. I decided I could not wait any longer due to my health issues. So my family, friends know, but not so much on the money and doctor issue. My surgery is Nov 2......

[bandedsandi 29]

I actually told my boss today, and he was ok with it, quite supportive, in fact. So glad I don't have to lie about it to him anymore - I still hate lying to other people if they ask 'uncomfortable' questions though...!

"What operation did you have done...?"

"Did they have to remove something...?"

"Were you away on holiday...?"

"Why don't you want any biscuits/cake/soda/whatever...?

"You're not having any coffee!? Are you sick...?"

"Why don't you come to the gym anymore...?"

One by one, I'll start telling the people closest to me, if I feel comfortable about it.

But that's still a BIG "if"....

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I told my husband.... he told everyone else... but I came to embrace it. The support I received was overwhelming. And it kept me honest.... no answering about why I gave up diet coke.. or why I was eating 2/3 of my dinner while out with friends. I was so excited about it I wanted to share with others.

Fast forward.... just a few pounds from goal I'd like to get paid for the amount of people I have told. But I am not an actress or sports start so I guess LapBand doesnt need my 2 cents! LOL

[Angelizz10 76]

I am a private person and am only telling my husband about my surgery. I'm not the type to generally talk about any procedures I'm having done' date=' even, common ones so this is not out of the ordinary for me. There are some people I trust would be supportive but they would tell one or two close other people and I don't want that. I also don't want negative comments or judgements or to have to explain my decision to anyone at this point. I feel it's best for me personally not to tell anyone that IKIRL. That's why I need this support page so badly.

Has anyone done this? Do you feel guilty about white lies? For example, for all the pre op visits I needed grandparents to help watch the kids. When they would ask where I was going, I would say something similar like an appointment. What kind? the dentist. I felt bad for that.

Will the words LAPBANDTALK come up on my emails? Not that others read my emails but if I have my account open at work and someone walks over to chat, I don't want to have to minimize the screen.

Thanks for your help.[/quote']

I did the same, and only my husband knows. I don't feel one bit guilty either! This decision has absolutely nothing to do with friends or coworkers. Don't worry about what other people think. Get another email address for lapband stuff, such as Yahoo and use it only for this, because, YES... Emails will pop up at the most inconvenient times. Don't open those emails unless your home.

[kah1213 311]

I told my dad because I needed him to drive me home from hospital. lol. I also told 1 friend who I know would never tell a soul. I chose not to tell any of my good girlfriends. I feel it's my journey and I'm happy to keep it a secret. I've had to be creative when eating out with friends, but I make it work.

[Mayasgram 351]

It is certainly none of my business but My mouth just dropped when I read your post, "You said I told one friend who I know would never tell a soul. But I chose not to tell any of my good girlfriends." I found that a real paradox,made me stop and wonder what kind of friend I would want to be the trusted friend or the good friend? Good Luck on your journey.

[Bos123 221]

It is certainly none of my business but My mouth just dropped when I read your post' date=' "You said I told one friend who I know would never tell a soul. But I chose not to tell any of my good girlfriends." I found that a real paradox,made me stop and wonder what kind of friend I would want to be the trusted friend or the good friend? Good Luck on your journey.[/quote']

I've seen some of your posts may and it leads me to believe that you have some pretty good friends and a good support system. My husband and i were talking the other day about when we were younger ( I am 34), we would go to party's/ dances/anniversaries with our parents and everyone was dressed up and together. People were there if you needed them to move nor help build something etc. I remember some of of my parents family friends since I was little and they feel like family. My husband and I were saying its not like that anymore. People are more closed off , more consumed ( maybe busier) with their own lives. That good base of old friends for better or worse doesn't always exist anymore. Maybe some of us had bad luck with friends, i don't know what it is but I'm not gonna confide in someone that may not be around in a year or two, and would perhaps open their mouth then. I have the upmost faith 100% in my husband and kids so that's who I trust with my most sacred secrets. So that's my reasoning in not telling anyone. I wish I did have the close friends/ family that some have but I don't. I'm not ashamed if my wls decision but don't feel the need to share it with people who can't truley support and be happy for me.

[Alli in StL 23]

I'm over a year out and I still haven't told many people. I have since told my immediate family and they've all been very supportive, even my mom who usually is not. My grandmother, no matter how often I explain the band, still refers to me getting my stomach stapled. When I requested time off from work, I just said I was having a medical procedure done. On my FMLA forms, no specifics were given. I did have some people ask me what I was having done and I simply told them it was of a personal nature and I didn't feel like sharing.

I find that a lot of people have very strong opinions even though they're uninformed. I didn't really want to deal with other opinions. There is one person that I eventually told whose main concern was that I'd become an alcoholic. I just don't feel like educating each and every person who's ignorant on the issue.

[LoLo9826 15]

Hi my name is Lori and I am new to this forum. My surgery is scheduled for Nov. 15th. I started my liquid diet yesterday I choose to only share my journey with some family and a few close friends at work. I'm very nervous and excited at the same time. I was looking for some place where I could find other people going through the same.

[KaranK 22]

My surgery is Monday, Nov 5th. I'm very excited. This has been a long process for me, I've had lots of issues with insurance. I have told a few family members including my adult children and mother. I've also told a few of my closest friends. They are all very supportive. I haven't said a word to anyone at work. I just told my boss I was having surgery...he assumed something "female" and didn't ask.

[mlacarter 5]

I am glad you posted this. I have only told a few people. It is such a personal decision and I don't want to have to explain my reasoning. People can be so judgmental.

[FatGirlFitGirl 179]

I chose to only tell immediate family members and just a few non-immediate family members. There is only one friend I know of that knows and she is a lap band patient as well. No deep reasons...just chose not too.