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Lastnight I had some very strong dreams, some pleasant, some not, but the one that is sticking with me, (besides the part about being feed shots of Senior Frog's green tequilla) was one of love and self acceptance.

The scene was after a huge flood, the waters had receded and the clean-up had begun. A very large woman was being interviewed by a national morning talk-show, like Goodmorning or Today (I don't watch these types of shows, but you know the type). She was about 350 pounds, and a professional belly dancer. She finished her interview, than ran out infront of the celibration parade and started dancing. She wasn't wearing typical belly dancing costuming, but it was still very pretty. She started dancing, and suddenly she opened her costume and "gave birth" to two other large dancers, who were strikingly beautiful, even though they both weighed about 300 pounds. They were also dressed in skimpy costumes, but they didn't care what anyone thought, they just danced their hearts out, danced to show their joy and happiness that the flood was over and reconstruction was to begin.

This was so amazing for me. I woke up with a sense of renewed determination. Here were these fat dancers who were out there for everyone to see, they didn't care what anyone thought, they just were out dancing their joy that the disaster was over, and time to rebuild.

I have been so stressed lately, feeling like I'm treading Water and not making any headway in my journey. It's hard to face the scale when I gain weight on 1000 calories, but I'm not giving up.

I'm dancing like no one is watching, whirling my way through the debre of my life. I'm a bull terrier, once I latch onto something I don't let go, even when common sense says to move on. But I'm not giving up. I'm not letting go.

Never give up, Never surrender.

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A friend of mine from college used to tell me that Water in a dream means that you are going through great changes, I guess she was right, you have had too many to count in the last few months. You must be really glad to be home and maybe you are a bit more delighted than you knew.

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Wow that was great! I love dreams, and of course Pisces are notorious dreamers. I feel like Water and ocean and seas also represent the sea of mankind. I hope you write your dreams down, some reoccurring symbols could communicate amazing things. I remember Joseph the dreamer in the O.T.. My youngest is named Joe. Its funny, the strangest dreams for me were when I was pregnant. Talk about Technicolor dreams!

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My friend is in a belly dancing group and they perform at all the town events. Many, many of these women are really heavy. But they are up there shaking their junk with the rest of them. They impress me!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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