How Do I Admit?

[MandiMand 17]

That I've fallen off the LB wagon, so to speak, to my doctor? I was banded 12/30/11. Lost 15lbs almost right away, and another 6-7 since. My weight goes up three, down 1, up two, down four. I cannot seem to get past 201, other than when I had the stomach flu, and well that is not a way to lose weight. I haven't been back to the practice since June, for two reasons: 1) was in training at work, could not find a time to go that wouldn't have made me miss a lot of work 2) stopped feeling self-motivated. #2 is the biggest reason of all. I was seeing the NP at my doc's office, and she would withhold fills if she felt I wasn't "losing enough," and said when she felt I was eating properly, she would give me another one. Mind you, I'm up to 7cc's in a 13cc band, and other than early morning, I feel NO restriction when I eat. In fact, just to prove a (stupid) point, I ate a portion of what I would normally eat, and it all went down. I felt disgusted with myself after that, and now I don't make a habit of eating this way. But it is still all very frustrating to me. I also stopped going to the gym, although I am going to head over there when I am done typing this.

The NP I heard is no longer with the practice, so I have an appt next week. And I know they've probably heard it all, but I am still scared about saying "hey look, I'm messed up, I need help."

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I think part of the problem is you are expecting the band to do something it isn't meant to do. You say "In fact, just to prove a (stupid) point, I ate a portion of what I would normally eat, and it all went down." The band isn't supposed to restrict your food intake or stop you from eating. It's not even supposed to make you feel stuffed full.

The only thing the band is supposed to do is help you feel satisfied on less food for longer periods of time. Satisfied meaning no long physically hungry. The common saying for banded people is "just because you can eat something doesn't mean you should".

I would go back to your doctor, be honest about why you've been gone, and rather than ask for another fill ask for help to better understand the band. The band is a great tool but only if you use it as it meant to be used. Hopefully your doctor is a good one and will be willing to help you, or at the very least, point you towards someone who can.

Best wishes, don't give up, you can do this.

[kah1213 311]

you can do it! i'm sure the doc has seen many people "fall off the wagon." i'm glad you're going back to the doc. you're taking a step in the right direction.

[brlgirl 112]

you have a 13cc band...maybe all you need to "restart" yourself is a little bit more of an adjustment/fill. I felt that same way and I when I got my last fill I started feeling the "fill" and was able to easily get back on track. I think it's ok to get stuck and need some help...we've all been there or we wouldn't be here.

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Amen to what Missy said.

[tiggergramma 129]

_{It may be possible that part of the reason the NP is no longer in that practice is she was running patients off with her manner of treating them. I'm not banded yet (9-21), so I don't know, but it doesn't make sense to me that she would refuse to fill because you were eating too much...isn't that the whole purpose of the fills? Anyway, good luck with your visit and your journey. I agree with the others, be honest and ask for help. If you are not able to get help in that practice, it may be time to find another.}

_{edited to try to fix font size...suddenly my font has lost all its weight!}

[2muchfun 8,928]

I've seen several posts like this lately and the situation seems like it's a little more complex than it appears on the surface. I can understand a doctor or NP asking a patient to follow the rules and learn how to eat with the band. But, I can also see how and why a fill might be appropriate. I think it took a few stuck episodes before I saw the light and stopped eating slider foods and started to eat my 1 cup of food in the order and quantity the Dr directed me to eat. But, if you're wide open and never experience a little restriction, you could lose the motivation needed to succeed. But even tighter restriction won't slow down a cup of clam chowder, a 16 oz hershey's bar or a large plate of fettuchini alfredo.

So, what comes first? You won't know restriction if you don't eat right and won't know it if the band is too loose. Work with your doctor and a nutritionist.

Sounds like you are commited again to the band so follow the Dr's orders this time and by all means, copy what Missy said above and read it daily.

tmf

[Lapbandster 496]

sounds to me like you're ready to get on track again which is excellent. As Mis73 has said, i think you should re-educate yourself on the tecnique/mechanism of the band.

When you go to your doctor make it clear that you know you screwed up and would rather not be chastised.

Also, explain to him that you were very dissatisfied with the NP's treatment. He needs to know that, as he should be responsible for the care his nurses distribute. (and even if she was fired, the new one may still need to be spoken to about this issue with the fills. In fact, my post-op nurse was TERRIBLE. she screamed and yelled at me because i couldn't wake up from the anesthesia right away and needed a few extra mins. I told this to my doc and he was very grateful that I informed him of this)

[kll724 3,055]

You have to not only get another fill, but you have to be self-motivated too. A fill will only help so much. As others said, just because you can eat a full plateful of food, doesn't mean you should. I was at a retreat this weekend. It wasn't a retreat from eating! But, I knew that if I ate more than my stomach can hold, I would be miserable and sick, and ashamed on Monday! I actually lost weight this 3 day weekend. But, a PA should not withhold a fill because she felt you weren't doing enough to lose weight. Mine might have a talk. But the surgeon determined when and if I needed a fill, which, buy the way, was when I hadn't lost enough weight!!!