How Do I Admit?
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That I've fallen off the LB wagon, so to speak, to my doctor? I was banded 12/30/11. Lost 15lbs almost right away, and another 6-7 since. My weight goes up three, down 1, up two, down four. I cannot seem to get past 201, other than when I had the stomach flu, and well that is not a way to lose weight. I haven't been back to the practice since June, for two reasons: 1) was in training at work, could not find a time to go that wouldn't have made me miss a lot of work 2) stopped feeling self-motivated. #2 is the biggest reason of all. I was seeing the NP at my doc's office, and she would withhold fills if she felt I wasn't "losing enough," and said when she felt I was eating properly, she would give me another one. Mind you, I'm up to 7cc's in a 13cc band, and other than early morning, I feel NO restriction when I eat. In fact, just to prove a (stupid) point, I ate a portion of what I would normally eat, and it all went down. I felt disgusted with myself after that, and now I don't make a habit of eating this way. But it is still all very frustrating to me. I also stopped going to the gym, although I am going to head over there when I am done typing this.
The NP I heard is no longer with the practice, so I have an appt next week. And I know they've probably heard it all, but I am still scared about saying "hey look, I'm messed up, I need help."