Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Help! Don't Know Whether To Tell Coworkers..



Recommended Posts

Hey everyone! I am scheduled for surgery Sept 4 and I kind of want to tell my 2 close girlfriends at work but i'm not sure. They are definitely going to be curious as to why i'm going to be out of work and on liquids...

I was going to use the gallbladder surgery excuse, until I actually did have to have it removed last week (I told them about that). So thats not an option...

I kind of want to tell them but I guess I am worried about the usual stuff: negative reactions, thinking its cool to continuously ask me about my weight/ how its going, etc. I do not think either of them would blab about it to the rest of the office.

I also think if I don't tell them it might cause some kind of rift between us because they will know something is going on and we usually talk about everything.

Additional info: neither of them are overweight so I don't think jealousy would be an issue.

Thoughts?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's really a very personal decision. I was out of work for a short amount of time and no ones knows (and if they know, they have the courtesy to not bring it up).

As for the food questions, you could just tell them you're trying out a new diet where you do a lot of liquid items (soups, Protein Shakes, jellos, etc). Most people won't bat an eye at the next crazy fad diet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you tell them before the surgery they'll probably be all negative and try to talk you out of it. You know, everybody knows somebody that knows somebody that knows somebody that's died from this surgery!! (I'm thinking they all must know the same person because the mortality rate is pretty low!)

Anyway, if you don't tell them, it will probably come out after the fact. I have found that after the fact was better for me because people are somewhat less negative since you didn't die in surgery, and they see you walking, talking and acting like a regular person that just happens to be losing weight. :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I it to do over again I would wait till after and u start losing weight because for me and many others it takes several months to start loseing because u have to fill it up for restriction and that can take several fills for me six months down and just now starting to lose steadily

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally, I did not tell anyone besides my sisters and mother. And I don't plan to tell anyone else. As someone else said, they will be always curios and asking questions (obviously no one tries to be rude but I cannot stand the badgering). Maybe they'll be negative and try to talk you out, and that would be very hard for you. Furthermore, it's very possible that it will take a few months to lose weight/get properly adjused and 99% of ppl don't realize this. Do you really want them writing you off as a "failure" when the pounds don't magically melt off?

It's just not worth it in my opinion.

As for the liquids, you can just say you have a bad flu or a stomach virus and the doc recommends liquids for a few days to hydrate you.

I know you probably won't like lying, but maybe you can say you got your appendix removed or something?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree it is a very personal decision. I told my coworkers and it has been fine but others have had bad experiences and people that weren't supportive. My coworkers inquired how I am doing here and there but, they have their own weight issues, so they don't seem to be "monitoring me" or being nosey about it. One thing I have noticed is coworkers come and go and you don't really "owe" them any explanation. I have left jobs over the years to move onto another or friends have left and we will say we are going to keep in touch and never do. So I consider most of them, just that, coworkers. I am friendly and sociable but know that they are not my "inner circle".

For me, it has been family (parents, etc) that seems to be more nosey and feel like they have the right to watch over me and want to tell me what I should be doing and how to lose weight.

Good luck w/ your decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is such a personal decision...... I have decided not to tell many people at all. My husband, Son , my bestfriend. Everyone has so many opinion's about surgery and I personally just don't want to deal with what other people might think. Plus there is the never ending "how much weight have you lost?" and "are you supposed to be eating that?". If your already feeling hesitant about telling them then follow your gut,(no pun intended) and wait. As far as the liquid diet is concerned, you can just tell them you are drinking Protein shakes during the day and only eating one meal at night, just a suggestion. You will figure out what the best thing for you is to do :-)

Just curious, why did you have your gallbladder out? Were you having problems with it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When you are ready to tell them you will. When I first got my band I didn't tell anyone other than my husband and parents. I had no intention of telling anyone either. But when people started noticing the weight loss, my approach changed. If I was asked how I was loosing the weight I sometimes told, but it was based on a gut feeling. I had no rhyme or reason behind it. Now most people know and yes some think its the easy way out, etc... but I don't care about their opinions. This is the best think I have ever done for myself. I will say that most have asked a lot of questions, like what do you eat, how much, do you have to exercise, etc. I think the biggest problem is the lack of knowledge about the band and how it works. I can't tell you how much time I have spent explaining the band to people. But I don't mind, I will continue to help educate as much as I can.

Bottom line is do what is best for you when you are ready. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, I'm a very private person, so I don't think I'd tell. I know in the past when I've done Weight Watchers, I'd get comments like "are you supposed to be eating THAT?" I am considering the surgery and at this point I don't think anyone needs to know.

I'd probably tell my cat, but I'm pretty sure she'd keep it to herself. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me, I'm a very private person, so I don't think I'd tell. I know in the past when I've done Weight Watchers, I'd get comments like "are you supposed to be eating THAT?" I am considering the surgery and at this point I don't think anyone needs to know.

I'd probably tell my cat, but I'm pretty sure she'd keep it to herself. :P

Don't be so sure about the cat...if someone offered her catnip, your secret would be out!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×