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How Do You Tell Someone That You're Dating That You Have A Lap Band?



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I agree with everyone, only my husband knows and a couple of friends.

I realize it is something is probably just weighing on your heart, and wanting to share something so important with him, as it is with my friends, I WANT to tell them and to share something so personal with them, but right now, I am not ready..its your call...

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Nope mine sticks out noticeably! LOL

So much that guys could say to a situation like this. Like, did she keep pushing the damn thing expecting something larger? :D

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I told my husband on our first date. I said I won't be eating all of this food you are about to pay for so don't get mad. I told him I have a band on to keep me from eating too much at once. He said "cool" and went on to say how fine I was and didn't care if I lost anymore weight or not. I was like he is the one and he was! LOL!

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The guy I'm dating right now is really awesome. He knows that I dont eat much, but has never really questioned why. My port is so deep that theres no way he will feel it until I get close to my goal weight. I think for now, since I'm not drastically losing where its obvious, I will keep it my little secret unless he directly asks me about it

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[*]If they care about the band that much to not date you then they arent the right people for you! Its not like its a disease or something! So what if you can teat certain things or eat alot....they should be happy! The less you eat...the cheaper the food bill when you go out! lol I say tell him and if he doesnt like it then you know it was not meant to be!

My thoughts exactly !! :-)

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Maybe the problem was TMI too soon and not that you have the band? I confess I wouldn't be particularly keen on a discussion of digestion and dietary measures during the first few dates. ;)

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If someone is really liking you for you then he is not going to care that you have the band. The truth is that the other two that you did go out with might not have really 'felt the vibe' or maybe they like their women with some meat on them and didn't want to end up with a thin woman.

Regardless' date=' you don't need to tell someone that you have it until you feel comfortable with it, it is not an STD or anything.

ON the other hand IF you are fearful that the guy will bail on you just because you have a band, then let the truth fly!

It is better to be rid of someone that won't accept you vs. worrying about hiding something for fear he will run off.

The scars will fade for the most part, so that shouldn't even be an issue.

After I left my ex husband who I was with when I was banded, I went out on all sorts of casual dates. I did not tell everyone, because they were not going to see me naked and honestly if I wasn't sure I just met them at a Starbucks this way it was something casual and nothing that I had to deal with food or anything. Not alot of time invested if it was not something I wished to pursue. My husband on the other hand, we actually met from an online dating site and had quite a bit of conversation before meeting. I did tell him but he didn't really mind nor worry about it, it just did not make a difference. I finally got another fill and he is 100pct supportive and would say if the guy is worth anything he is not going to care if your banded or not. If he does care, then kick him to the curb. Damn I sound harsh huh lol

[/quote']

No not harsh at all, this is great advice!!

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I think you will know when the time is right. I tell everyone, lol, I'm proud of my decision to take control of my life, happiness and health. :0)

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I've been stressing about this lately too. Not that I've been on a date in YEARS (sad right?), but the thought has crossed my mind that it wouldn't kill me. LOL But I agree with the advice to deal with the topic when the time is right. Now hopefully I can remember this for myself (eventually). :rolleyes:

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I struggled with this same thing. I stressed and worried about telling my bf until I made myself sick. I had been dating my current bf for a few months when questions starting coming up. He loves to cook big extravagant meals. I finally got up the nerve to tell him. He seemed a little upset and asked lots of questions at first, but guess what...he started researching the lap band online so that he could better understand what I was going through. He found some band friendly recipes to try and then started turning all of his recipes into band friendly meals. We've been together for a year now. He goes with me to my appointments and tries to incorporate exercise into at least a couple of dates each week. Saturday we went to the beach and power walked for a couple of hours and then we shopped in the cute ocean front boutiques. He bought me a new outfit in a much smaller size than our previous trip to the beach in May. I feel very blessed to have such an understanding man. When the time is right, tell him, answer his questions, but let him know you're still you...just much healthier. Good Luck in your choice and I hope you will be as blessed as I have been.

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I have to thank everyone for all the advice and suggestions that you have given. I have decided that when the time is right, I will tell the person I'm dating. I've been dating one guy for a few months, he has seen my scars, knows I eat VERY light (in fact teases me about it) but has never questioned why. It hasnt been a subject that has come up, and unless he asks, I'm not going to volunteer the info. Things are starting to go downhill in the relationship, and the signs are there for me to jump ship, but I'm ok with that. I feel so much better, I'm losing good, and I did this for ME, not anyone else. Thats what matters!

Again...Thank you!!

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Oh cool thread!!

I've recently started dating again and am now seeing a guy I really like a lot. I was pretty open about the band early on. I knew I had to tell him I have MS anyway so the band would be really minor by comparison. I figured this was me, flaws and all, and if he couldn't accept it then I'd rather know sooner than later so I could move on with the least amount of emotional damage.

Thankfully, he is totally fine about the band (and the MS). In fact, he's very supportive. I have even showed him pictures of what I looked like before the band and he was shocked lol. He's actually become my biggest cheerleader, too- he's always telling me how proud he is of me and how far I've come.

I'm glad I told him :)

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I look at it differently. I feel that if u meet someone u should give that person a chance to know the real u. I want to know that when the chance to get serious about some one they know just who I really am and that includes my band. I'm not a shame of my band but I was a shame of my weight. I want people to know that at one time I did have a problem and I saw and knew it therefore I got the help to help me fix it and that's just what I'm doing. I'f they can't handle the truth then I didn't need them anyway. As far as the right time who's to say when the right time is I feel like its when your setting there talking letting that person get to know who u really r ???ƒ

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