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Telling Friends And Family



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O I'm planning to be very honest about having the Lapband if I do decide to get it but just wondering how everyone told thier friends and family? reactions? Was everyone supportive? Did you get a lot of blank looks?

Thanks

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Have not told more than a handful of family members, but am sure they would be supportive if I chose to disclose it. If I was comftorable telling everyone, I would honestly really probably just post a Facebook update about it (which is not something I'd normally do, but in this case I would due to so many family members). This way everyone finds out and you don't have to risk any awkward silences or deragatory comments since you'd be on a public forum and people usually behave themselves better. For people who I knew don't use Facebook, depending on their level of importance in my life, I would probably call them up and tell them. Be prepared to answer questions and correct wrong information.

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i decided to get banded after 2 in laws did so well on it, so when i decided to get banded all my in laws were very supportive. i told my mom during a telephone conversation about 3 weeks before being banded, she calmly asked why i was doing it and when i explained that my weight problem was getting worse and not better, i had only lost 12 lbs with being on weight watchers for a year, and i was tired of living overweight. i told her about my 2 in laws successes, and that i had done my research and my dr also agreed with me and thought i was a good canidate. My mom agreed with me and passed the news on to my family and they were all very understanding. That was between thanksgiving and christmas,i had lost about 10 lbs by xmas. i wiil see them this weekend for the 1st time since xmas day, i think theyll be very impressed with my loss of 30 lbs ! (total) My hubby was and is still very supportive , he's very happy that im loosing and looking and feeling better! Co workers and friends were also supportive Hope all goes well with you, good luck !

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Well I was to just tell people if they asked and I told my family. My husband even asked what I wanted him to say to people at his work....I told him the same thing. Then my husband , trying to keep eveyone informed, put it on faceook. So then everyone knew from those that I went to school with 25 years ago to my students in my classes. I wasn't trying to be private about it, but there is a difference in telling people and telling the PEOPLES!! Anyway I deleted his posts when I found out a cople of days later, but a large group obviously now know....which is ok.....He didn't mean any harm...he just wasn't thinking....he knew I was going to tell people so he thought it was ok..........MEN sometimes. I'm still a little angery....but trying not to be.

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I didn't tell anyone except my husband of course. My sons knew I was having surgery and I told my daughters post op. I just told my mom and sisters on Sunday. Yes I had surgery in Feb but I was just ready to tell them plus my youngest sister asked what I was doing so I was honest and told her. She was happy for me and then my other sister asked the same thing within minutes. I told her too and they were very supportive. I don't know why I wanted I just wasn't ready. I have only told a couple people at work and they are very supportive too.

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Everyone I have shared it with has been very supportive. My family knows and a couple of people at work. I expected some weirdness from it...but surprisingly a couple admitted they were interested in the surgery but never pursued it. They asked me plenty of questions. Some of our friends found out on Easter when I didn't partake of the feast and ate Soup instead. They were supportive as well and asked all of the common curiosity questions. I kind of figure the more people that know...the more I will stay on track and can't quit. Not sure if that makes sense.

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I havnt told alot of people but I have told my mom my sisters and my inlaws. From my mother who is a little overweight and has seen me struggle with my wieght she has been very supportive same with my sister. My sister in law who has always been thin it was kind of an awkward moment, she didn't say anything negative but wasn't terribly positive. Telling my thin mother in law was awkward but turns out she was very supportive. Seems like younger people have been the least supportive and the most likely to say something negative, like my little sister, I think they just don't get it yet.

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I have only shared it with 4 close friends, a minister, my mom and sister. My mom, sister, and one of my friends (who understands my struggles with weight) are very excited for me. However, I did have one friend who basically said I shouldn't take this "easy way out" -- instead I should just learn to eat healthy and exercise. It makes me sad that she doesn't understand that I will still be doing all those things and the band is just my tool. I am a little hesistant to broadcast it to everyone aftr so many failed weight loss attempts, but have decided if it comes up, I need to learn how to "own" my band and be open. This is something I'm still trying to work through before surgery.

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My family is my biggest support group. My mother-in-law had lap band surgery done 3 years ago :) I was upfront with my family about me deciding to go for lap band surgery. My parents were happy because they have known for the last 6 years since I was 19 that I thought about it almost every day. My in-laws were also happy. One of my brother's was happy about it because he knows my struggles and the other one is happy but also mad. He's 350 pounds and he knows the struggle of trying to lose weight. He kept saying "oh you can end up gaining it back" and blah blah blah lol He's seen a lot of people that went through GASTRIC BYPASS gain their weight back but he only knows two people that have gone with lap band and that's my mother-in-law and her friend. They haven't hit their goal weight but they are still losing which is all that matters. I heard a rumor that my brother is jealous that I'm finally doing what I want to lose weight. I'm 25 and he's 33. A few of my friends were very supportive from the beginning then I have one that keeps telling me that if I put my mind to it that I can lose it on my own which if it was that easy then I would have lost my weight years ago lol. I have another one that was mad because she wishes she could go through with it but she cares more about what her family thinks then what she herself thinks. She's also mad because my husband and I have been trying to have another baby for the last 3 years and I had 2 miscarriages last year. She's now pregnant and throws it in my face but I'm trying to get my life back and be healthier for my daughter and step-daughter and so that I don't have to go on fertility drugs to get pregnant. You will always have people that will support you and others that will be mad or upset. What you need to think about is yourself. You need to get healthier and if lap band surgery is really what you want then don't let other peoples' opinions effect you decision :)

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I'm struggling with this as well. I supervise 14 people and can't just disappear for two weeks without some kind of explanation. I doubt that anyone would let me get away with "medical issue" or something like that. I believe they would be supportive but I have no way of knowing beforehand. Maybe I should tell the one I think might be negative privately. Advice? Thanks.

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Daddyof4 it is no ones $%#^ business why you are out of the office!!! I had a coworker who was out for well over a month having a breast reduction. No one discussed why she was out but it was pretty darned obvious when she returned. These are coworkers: not family, not friends (most of them), not fellow church goers (which in my church WERE LIKE family).

I told my immediate family and two close work friends. Key word there friends not just coworkers. If I would'nt discuss a serious ailment with them; I don't need to discuss this.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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