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My Conflicted Thoughts, Anyone Else Feel/think This Way?



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Hello peeps....

I had my first appiontment in January and scheduled surgery for May 22, 2012. This long of a weight has played many tricks in my head. I am completely conflicted with my thoughts. One part of me is so ready for this change in my life and ready for success that I want to start a strick diet now to get a head start. The other part of me continues to say "you wont be able to eat these things later, might as well have what I want now as a fairwell". However, I DO NOT want to gain weight before surgury. I did horrible yesturday for Easter. Then I felt really guilty and began to doubt that I have the mental strength for this proceedure. However, I cannot continue my life as it is.

Did any of you suffer from this confliction when you were waiting for surgury. Anyone that has had surgery and been successful - did your thoughts and feelings about food change (did it get easier?).

Most of my thoughts are either thinking about what I want to eat (good or bad), feeling guilty when I do eat bad, or thinking about life after the band. I would like to think that a life without this much conflict might be ahead of me.

Please comment.....

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I had to do a 6 month diet before I got lapband. I didn't necessarily have to lose weight, though I did lose a couple pounds. I totally went through the "I'm never going to eat this again, so I better have it- and a lot of it- now!!" I ate a LOT. HOWEVER- and this is the greatest thing that I have learned so far- it's not that I can't eat these things- I can! But I just choose not to. I was worried too about just still eating whatever I wanted until I got to restriction, eating around the band (my biggie is ice cream, which is a slider).

I can honestly say that- though it's a process and I'm still learning- I have a different mindset. I am learning the difference between real hunger and "head" hunger- ie, eating when bored or mad or stressed. And I choose to not eat when I'm not really hungry. And I know as I get to restriction my hunger will go away and I'll feel full on less- and right now I"m just eating less and dealing with it, LOL. I'm logging everything, keeping myself honest, exercising.

I decided I would be successful at this, so I am! I have lost 34 lbs so far- banded in January- and I am motivated.

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I had to do a 6 month diet before I got lapband. I didn't necessarily have to lose weight, though I did lose a couple pounds. I totally went through the "I'm never going to eat this again, so I better have it- and a lot of it- now!!" I ate a LOT. HOWEVER- and this is the greatest thing that I have learned so far- it's not that I can't eat these things- I can! But I just choose not to. I was worried too about just still eating whatever I wanted until I got to restriction, eating around the band (my biggie is ice cream, which is a slider).

I can honestly say that- though it's a process and I'm still learning- I have a different mindset. I am learning the difference between real hunger and "head" hunger- ie, eating when bored or mad or stressed. And I choose to not eat when I'm not really hungry. And I know as I get to restriction my hunger will go away and I'll feel full on less- and right now I"m just eating less and dealing with it, LOL. I'm logging everything, keeping myself honest, exercising.

I decided I would be successful at this, so I am! I have lost 34 lbs so far- banded in January- and I am motivated.

That is awesome. Great weightloss so far. I am a very strong person and I am successful at everything else I do in my life except weightloss. I plan to turn that around too. I want to have the same mindset as you do. I believe I can, but the part of me that has failed at this so many times in my life continues to come into my thoughts.

Thanks for sharing with me!

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I feel exactly the same way as you. I do not have my surgery scheduled yet but I am supposed to be dieting now. They are estimating I should be scheduled early June. My mind is saying that I want this so bad but last night my husband was eating jelly Beans. I know I should not have them and was able to hold back for a few hours. But the bag was on the coffee table and it's like it kept calling me. I finally broke down and ate a few handfuls. My late night eating is usually stuff that wont be helped by the band like ice cream, candy, chocolate etc. I have a double reason not to eat it as my blood sugar is right on the boarder of being high but for some reason I just can't stop. I have also been doing the, better eat this one last time with take out food lately too. I really have been picturing myself skinny and joking with my husband about not buying any new cloths now because I will need to replace all of them soon, but I am so scared that my problem foods can still be eaten with the band.

I really can't fail at this. I have 2 daughters age 7 and 5 and the 5 year old has Autism. My girls really need me and they are the main reason for my decision to have the band. I just hope that if I get a quick loss at the early stages due to liquid diet that will be enough to keep me motivated.

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I'm scheduled to have surgury this Friday the 13th yea! I had my pre operative visit this past week and am on a low carb diet to shrink the liver. I love meat so have not found it to hard to follow although yesterday my oldest son showed up with an easter basket filled with Peanut Butter eggs. I ate two and put the basket out for the whole family. I'm really worried about after the surgury and the healing as I tend to not eat all day and then inhale enough for supper to feed two people. I know I do not chew my food well and am concerned. I don't want to make myself sick.

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I too went through this and had my first aha moment as well. it is when I realized just how much control food had on my life.

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I had those feelings of I wont be able to eat certain foods that I love. Guess what? I am almost a year out and this was the best thing I ever did for myself. If I want those foods sometimes I have them just not as much. The foods that I just cant have are mainly bread items and most fruits. I even eat pizza once in a while. Thin crust only. :D Remember this isnt about what you cant have its more about learning to eat better and smaller portions and stopping when your satisfied not full and for me slowing down while I eat.

Good Luck

Kat

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I feel exactly the same way as you. I do not have my surgery scheduled yet but I am supposed to be dieting now. They are estimating I should be scheduled early June. My mind is saying that I want this so bad but last night my husband was eating jelly Beans. I know I should not have them and was able to hold back for a few hours. But the bag was on the coffee table and it's like it kept calling me. I finally broke down and ate a few handfuls. My late night eating is usually stuff that wont be helped by the band like ice cream, candy, chocolate etc. I have a double reason not to eat it as my blood sugar is right on the boarder of being high but for some reason I just can't stop. I have also been doing the, better eat this one last time with take out food lately too. I really have been picturing myself skinny and joking with my husband about not buying any new cloths now because I will need to replace all of them soon, but I am so scared that my problem foods can still be eaten with the band.

I really can't fail at this. I have 2 daughters age 7 and 5 and the 5 year old has Autism. My girls really need me and they are the main reason for my decision to have the band. I just hope that if I get a quick loss at the early stages due to liquid diet that will be enough to keep me motivated.

I also have 2 boys one with autism. I feel like my depression from the dx is kinda what got me in this mess (or lack of will power.. ha ha), but now I need to fix it! I gotta be here for these kiddos!!!

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It's not that you won't be able to eat certain foods (I was told I could eat anything, and I do find that true usually). But you won't be able to eat nearly as much as you could before. in the weight loss stage, when you're tight, you might not be able to eat, say, sourdough bread and may have problems if you don't chew steak well. However, I wouldn't use being able to eat or not eat foods as a reason to get the lapband. I remember my mom saying to me, "would you be able to give up certain things forever?" And I haven't, but really I would rather lose this weight than eat a bunch of bread. Things I really love like dark chocolate, cake, pie and chips I eat in moderation and am happy.

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I think most of us worry about what your're describing. I had my band done 1 month ago and I love it so far...just for the fact that it has curbed my appetite and cravings for the "bad stuff". I also think once you go through the surgery and recovery you don't want to mess up what you just went through.

You'll do great-I think the support in this forum is so helpful too.

Good luck!

Lap band surger 3/14/12

14 pounds down so far :D

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I went through that stage. Man, the week before I started my pre-op liquid diet i probably gained 10 pounds just on my "goodbye food" tour. I had no idea what i would or wouldn't be able to eat. I remember sitting in McDonalds a year ago, eating a bacon egg and cheese McGriddle with tears streaming down my face as I mentally said goodbye to bacon egg and cheese McGriddles FOREVER.

well, almost a year has passed, about 11 months actually, since my surgery and I am down about 90 pounds with NO FILLS and I can eat any type of food that I want to eat. the thing that has changed is the head hunger. I just don't feel it the way I did before surgery. before, food consumed pretty much every waking moment of my day. what will i eat next? what will i eat after that? what is the next meal? when is the next meal?

i can honestly say i do not think that way any more. it's like a switch was turned off in my head and it really quieted that voice. sometimes i don't even think about food until my stomach makes a noise and i realize that i haven't eaten and i need to eat! can you imagine??? i certainly couldn't have imagined that *gasp* i wouldn't want to eat unless i was actually feeling hunger.

so, although i can eat any type of food i want to eat, including bacon, egg, and cheese McGriddles, i rarely eat things that aren't serving a purpose. that means, i eat Proteins first, as they fill me up, then veggies, then if i have it whatever starches there are. i can eat bread, but i don't eat a lot of it. every once in a while i will have a mcdonald's (or wendy's or burger king) hamburger with the bun...the difference is, I don't have the whopper or the big mac, i just have the regular size and it really is enough. i get the taste of whatever i am craving and then i move on with my day.

if i have fries, i order the small instead of the super size. i also wait the 20 minutes after eating a meal to take a drink (like my doctor suggested)

i still eat chocolate and Cookies and cakes and sweets and things that aren't super duper healthy, but i don't have them every day. i usually have a cheat day or a special event that i save those things for. really, i don't think about sweets and starch and stuff like that in the way that i used to anyway. Holidays are really the only time where i indulge in sweets. can you say Cadbury eggs? ?? I'm so glad Easter is over and they have stopped selling these little eggs of evil :P

anywho, i said all of that to say that what you are feeling is perfectly normal, at least it was for me. do what you need to do to mourn, but also know that if you chew long enough you can eat pretty much anything. the good thing about chewing is that once something spends a lot of time in your mouth and you really taste it for the first time, you realize that it wasn't a fantastic taste in the first place and you don't really want to eat it again. really, things don't taste the same to me anymore and i've lost the desire to have a lot of things that i once thought i loved.

do i miss taking huge bites of delicious huge burgers? yes i do. sometimes, usually when it's that time of the month, but for the most part, i have competely changed my eating habits. i don't count calories or weigh foods or do any of that stuff. i think that now i eat like a normal person would eat. I have been watching my co-workers (who are all thin) and their eating habits this past year and i have discovered that we tend to now get hungry at the same time of day and eat roughly the same amount of foods and be full with the same serving size. this has given me joy to know that for the first time in my life there is something normal about me. i am eating like a normal person. not vacuuming the food down, not eating until i feel pain, not stuffing myself silly with supersized portions, but really eating and enjoying the tastes of food, all kinds of food.

this band has actually opened up a world of food choices for me. i have discovered new flavors that i never knew existed or never paid attention to because i used to just bypass the chew stage. in the mouth and down the throat it went. no longer. now i spend time with food and since i'm spending time with food in my mouth, i want only delicious tasting things to go into my mouth.

anyway, i could go on and on and on and on, but i will stop there and just say good luck to you and maybe give you hope that this isn't the end. you will be able to eat foods you like and love and you will be able to enjoy eating. just take it one day at a time and don't be discouraged. you will be just fine.

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