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How Did You Tell People?



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I really think I want to get the Lap Band because so many people have been successful and I'm having health issues related to my weight. But I'm nervous about how my SO will react. What did you say to yours? How did your family respond? I'm worried my SO will try to talk me out of it :( I don't know how much longer I can wait before I need to do something drastic. I keep gaining weight at a rate of about 2 pounds a month. It's been adding up over time and it seems like every year I need to buy bigger and bigger clothes. I wear a size 24 now and next up is a size 26. I can't keep doing this to myself. I really want all the support I can get but I'm worried I won't...

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Mine was very excited for me. I announced it at Christmas dinner that my mom was giving me the best present ever. Why are you worried your SO wont support you? And if he wont support you for you taking control of your health, hmmmm? You have to do this for yourself, and that is what matters most.

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My SO was extremely supportive and right now on his second month for the supervised weight lost program. Just let your SO know the importance of getting the procedure and how it will affect both of you. The only individuals I have told are two people at church, three sorority sisters, two people at work (boss and secretary) and of course my husband and mom. They are all very supportive and understand my reason for doing it. At the end of the day, I have stated to my husband that I will not post anything on Facebook or twitter but just allow people see my transformation. I actually have a friend who I think did the procedure but she won't say anything about it and that is fine because i see she is happy. Just tell those whom you truly want to know and will be supportive.

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My SO was very supportive and nervous at the beginning. Just be honest and let your SO know exactly what you are feeling.

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My husband was and is very supportive. He was nervous at first, because its surgery, but after I explained how the surgery was being done and how the band would work, he calmed down. Now he makes sure I count my food chews! LOL. I've told anyone who would listen. It helps keep me accountable. God bless you on this journey!

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When I was originally planning gastric bypass, my family was worried. My father tried very hard to talk me out of it.

When I canceled the gastric bypass appointment, they were all very relieved.

When I told them I was getting the Lap Band instead, and explained it was 100% reversible and didn't reroute any of my digestive system, they were very happy about my decision, including my very skeptical father who was so dead set against the gastric bypass.

I was banded on Jan. 6, 2012, and I've had such great luck with the band my mom is now seriously considering it as well.

I think being honest about the facts helps. It eases their mind to know you're doing anything irreversible to your body. Plus, pointing out the health benefits. I have Multiple Sclerosis, so I pointed out to my family a big part of why I was doing this was take control of the health issues I could to lessen the stress on my body and give me a better fighting chance against the MS.

Now, 2 months post surgery, I tell everyone. I don't hide it at all and so far have gotten but positive responses.

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My husband was really supportive. I took a year to think about my options before going ahead and doing it, but honestly it was the best choice for me. Like you, I was gradually gaining by the month and it was affecting my health. The rest of my family was mixed and other than that I only told my son and his wife and my best friend, which she is in the process of getting it done herself. It always helps to have someone who knows what your dealing with. To this day those are really the only people who know and when others ask if I have lost weight, I just smile and know it's working. Good luck to you.

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Well, my partner is terrified of surgery and thus she might project the fear on me. One of her classmates died from general anesthesia (blood clot) so she's pretty much dead-set against elective surgery. It's not that she wouldn't be supportive of me losing weight - she's been encouraging me to do so for years since she knows my family history of breast cancer and heart disease. She will be worried about the anesthesia and me dying in the process. I was fine the first time I had surgery so I have no reason to believe this time will be different, and my surgeon told me about the safegards they take to make sure people don't die of blood clots (they use blood thinners). I guess I'm just going to have to do my best to explain the facts!

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My SO honestly does not know. I told he back on oct I was very interested and he was against it. I am 100% ready and can't wait. Me and him not not married, we have been together for 8 years and have a son together. I wish I could have told him now, but I'm being banded on4/5 and don't want any negative vibes.. My entire family knows, some of them don't understand why I'm getting it but they are not being negative about it. I want to stay positive and happy about my new journey to come

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I wonder how you tell people at work ? Do you tell at all or you keep it to yourself ? We are a small team at work (less then 10) so I don't know if I should tell them. I know I will have to tell my boss, but what about my coworkers ?

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do your homework before you tell anyone, then if they come at you with a negative comment or reason, you can CALMLY back up your reasons. i was gaing weight steadaly too, tried weight watchers, didnt wor etc..... yada yada.......so after 2 relatives had the band last june, i started researching it. once i had all the info, i attended the surgeons seminar and then the local support group. when i was approved sometime later, only then did i let my family and co workers know. i have had 100 % support and some normal healthy questions about why and how it works, but nothing really negative. and if they do say something negative usually its because they have no knowledge of what its like to be overweight etc. it ain't pretty, but thats life!im down 26 lbs in 3 months and just hit"onederland - 199 lbs !!!) this morning ! Go get banded already ! BEST DECISION EVER !! good luck !!

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My husband is very supportive but he is also nervous at times when I do not feel well or after an adjustment. But overall he is great...

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do your homework before you tell anyone, then if they come at you with a negative comment or reason, you can CALMLY back up your reasons. i was gaing weight steadaly too, tried weight watchers, didnt wor etc..... yada yada.......so after 2 relatives had the band last june, i started researching it. once i had all the info, i attended the surgeons seminar and then the local support group. when i was approved sometime later, only then did i let my family and co workers know. i have had 100 % support and some normal healthy questions about why and how it works, but nothing really negative. and if they do say something negative usually its because they have no knowledge of what its like to be overweight etc. it ain't pretty, but thats life!im down 26 lbs in 3 months and just hit"onederland - 199 lbs !!!) this morning ! Go get banded already ! BEST DECISION EVER !! good luck !!

I Think I feellike telling them. After 15 years working together I feel I want to share this with them. The best is telling them not to give me any negatives thoughs about it no ? I'm on the waiting list (one year max) and the surgeon told me that if he ever have a cancellating, he might call me. So it may be shorter then 1 year...

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I wonder how you tell people at work ? Do you tell at all or you keep it to yourself ? We are a small team at work (less then 10) so I don't know if I should tell them. I know I will have to tell my boss, but what about my coworkers ?

I'm going to tell my boss but I don't know if I'm going to disclose all that information to my co-workers. You don't have to tell anyone what you're doing with your body, though! HIPPA protects you from that. All you have to do is say "I'm having surgery but it's a private matter so I'll need to have a week off for recovery." Let them make what they will of that. Could be for reproductive reasons, weight related reasons, something to do with your bowel functions... there are a number of reasons to have surgery and many of them could be perceived as uncomfortable to discuss. Obviously people will question you about your weight loss, at which point you can simply answer "I'm eating less and exercising more." It's true, right? That's how this is supposed to work :) Your secret can be safe.

I just want to tell my partner because I'll need her support through this. She knows I don't like being heavy, and I mentioned before that I might eventually resort to surgery if my health is in danger.

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The process takes a long time..why not go ahead and start moving through and then when it is time for the surgery tell your SO. My husband (41 years married) was not in favor of the surgery, he did not see the need...I did...120 pounds over weight, High BP and Diabetes on the way..Well, I want to live to play with my Grandchildren so I did it and did not tell him until I was almost through with the process. He is now one of my biggest cheeleaders and helps me when I get a bit down (no more chicken wings, fried fish, pizza - you know, the good stuff). Good Luck on your journey and whatever you decide - your health comes first and we are always on line when you need to vent...Would I do this again ? YOU BET !!!!!

Melinda in Florida

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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