Support For Banded Husband

[reboktx 0]

My husband was banded on 3.8.12. It has definitely been an emotional roller coaster for him the last 3 days... Especially adjusting to the small amount of calories on the liquid diet recovery phase. Mentally he knows it's this phase is temporary but still feels somewhat emotionallynand mentally fried. I'm looking for any suggestion on how to support him through this. It would help me to have some advice from the amazing people who have been through this. Thanks!

[PAenergy 2]

Hi reboktx. You have come to the right place. I have not done my surgery yet, but have gotten a lot of information from both here and youtube. There is a group on here specifically for men with lap bands under the group category. On youtube, there are many women like on here, but one gentleman I saw making videos of his lap band experience is nrk2of3. Maybe your husband wants to check this out. Hope this helps.

[Cocoabean 430]

First off, kudos to you for looking for ways to help.

Mainly just be there for him. DON'T be his food police. If you are the cook in the family ask him what he wants/needs, and work together to prepare meals both of you can have. Once he is on regular foods there is no need to prepare separate meals for him. But if he is making poor choices, they are HIS choices, you are not responsible for those choices.

I think the smaller portions are harder on a man in our society. Fellows are supposed to eat hearty and slam the food down. He has a lot of adjusting to do, and a huge learning curve as he gets used to his new way of life.

As he goes through that learning curve, don't make him feel bad for mistakes he makes, or speedbumps he hits.

When I get stuck, sometimes my husband gets very drama queen about it. "Oh my gosh, you'll never be able to eat THAT again!!! Now what???" That just adds to my stress. I much prefer it when he just takes it in stride with me.

Mostly I appreciate when he says, "do you need me to do something to help you, or just leave you alone?"

Just ask him flat out what is the best way you can support him. That shows respect and willingness to help.

[vlp1968 83]

Well said cocoabean- Know that what your husband is going through is perfectly normal. When I cook for others I do a lean meat and veggie for me, and add a starch for others who may want that. I wish your husband the best, he obviously has a very supportive wife.

[brownie012 1]

Thats so sweet to be so supportive. I know what helped me through the breakdown was that my hubby sat down and started thinking of things we could have together...like Soup. We went to the store together and shopped for things to share, and it really took the stress away because he was sort of adapting to me. Its hard at first when you have people scarfing down foods that you love (in my case my kids). But remind him he can always chew and spit! Took a long time for that go get figured out, but just know that with the band, after the first week or so, you get use to what you can have and crave what you can have more than what you cant. And i know that he will have amazing support with a wife like you, who will undoubtedly compliment his weight loss and be by his side!