Spouse Jealousy??

[jayres14 17]

Anyone notice his/her spouse starting to change as the weight falls off?? Not the crazy screen your calls, screen your texts, play 100 questions when you go out of the room to blow your nose, nothing like that.

Let me start by saying my husband has always been supportive of my wanting to lose weight. He is not the jealous kind and not insecure in any way. Even though I am self pay, he never questioned my wanting the surgery and said to do what makes me happy. It's been almost 8 months and I am down to a pretty good looking 175 pounds. Being blonde and well endowed in the breast area, I get a lot more attention than I used to. On our bowling league, the male attention is pretty obvious, even in his face, which is very disrespectful to him and pisses me off. Lucky for them, he has a smooth temper or they'd be picking up their teeth! It just seems some people just now realized I exist.

More to the point, I have noticed when we walk around in stores, he stays by my side much more frequently than usual. If someone is looking at me, I notice him often step in front to block. He often makes comments like, "I have always loved you the way you are." He texts me a lot during the day with sweet notes and I have received a dozen roses twice in the past month, not on Valentine's day.

Now don't get me wrong, I love all this attention from him. After 11 years together, it is new spicy flavor. But I hate that he may feel, what's the word, obligated to do this. I would never leave him for anyone else, not even if Tom Brady came a callin'........ Ooh, better not stretch it that much, geez, it's Tom Brady!!

Mmmmm, okay, snap back from my daydream!! Anyways....

I know all I can do is constant reassurance that he is the only one for me no matter how I look or who's looking. Any of you experienced this? If this sounds familiar, how did you handle it? Will it change when the newness wears off?

[bev712 28]

It's not exactly jealousy - it's fear, fear that now that you're becoming more attractive in the sexual sense you'll choose to be with someone who wouldn't have looked twice at you before. The solution is to reassure him that you're still very much attracted to him and that you'd never want anyone else. You can feel confident in your new body but still remember to remind him all the time that you married HIM!

[#MagicWithinme 173]

Yes I noticed my hubby being a bit more affectionate when he would drop me off at work. ( I work with 150 men) walking with his arm around me. when we sit put his arm me. He's always been affectionate but lately he is extra snuggly.

He did make a comment about me getting a late text and I said read it, it could be my sister/daughter. After he looked I told him I was his, not to worry there is nobody else that would take my sh*t. There is some fear for our loved ones, because before they had no reason to be jealous that others would look at us. But now, vavavavoom..

Just constant reassuring, and letting them know that what we are doing is for us as a person and as a couple... for a future happy longer life.

Good Luck

[Cazzy 725]

I would also say that its not really jealousy but fear and insecurity. I am sure after things return to routine and time elapses that it will improve and things will settle down again. It may also be that there is some element of protectiveness there from him, thinner people tend to appear more vulnerable and he may feel like he has to protect you more now, hence the stepping in front of you ... It might be an idea to show him that he is still the one in the same ways he does for you, dont just reply to texts send him ones yourself. I am not saying send him flowers but find something he would like and make a thank you gift for all his support. Notes in his pockets that he finds when he is at work, etc etc.. Its not just a case of reassurance but also making him feel as special as u do now that u have lost the weight..

I am sure things will work out and settle down. Good luck !

[his_spirit 62]

Mine has been very very very attentive. lol. Not that he wasn't before but extra since the surgery and it has only been a few weeks. I think that it is more my attitude. Very positive and happy these days. He sees me going out and doing things much more when I was more of a homebody prior. Sometimes he asks me if people are making comments yet and often says that I will have to get used to a lot of attention from other guys. Not that he feels threatened or anything because he knows I am not interested. He has never ever had an issue with my weight and for him it is about my health but it is funny how I see him reacting. I have also been all over him a lot more too. Guess that goes along with just feeling better about myself and making positive changes. So how I am dealing with it is just giving him lots of attention and showing him how much I appreciate him.

[amanda01331 15]

I'm worried my husband will be the same way...I get looks now...so i'm defiantly worried he is going to be very jelous . I guess we will see when I get banded. I'm build the same way..large chested..I don't think that is going to go away so.when I loss weight this is going too be interested

[jasonl1973 22]

my thought is he needs to remember he is the one who takes you home and has the "fun" with you!!! Flaunt it

[jayres14 17]

my thought is he needs to remember he is the one who takes you home and has the "fun" with you!!! Flaunt it

Haha, that made me laugh!!

[kll724 3,055]

No, my husband is so proud that he flaunts the fact that I lost 100 lbs and am attractive to him and other men! My husband gave up jealousy when I worked with mostly men and never gave him anything to be jealous of. I have been 120 to 255 and the ranges in the middle my married life. I think he is probably just real proud of your losses and wants men to know that you are with hiim! Be happy that you have a suppotive spouse who is proud of your accomplisments. Good luck, Karen