Big mouths at work

flower · February 22, 2006

I would like an opinion on this I told two people at work about my lap band surgery. Another girl at the same time got gastric bypass she told everyone I told the girls I told not to tell. My husband seen another girl from my work and told her I had the surgery that girl asked another girl that we are mutually close to at work is it true she said yes and she wants to keep it quiet. Now that I am losing weight people are asking how. why ,you know the drill. well apparently one of the girls told another girl and you get it rumors are rampant and I don't know how to react I don't want them to know it is none of their business but how do i dispell all the talk I am quite upset it is my business and my life and people should learn to keep their mouths shut please offer advice sorry for being so winded story is complicated thanks

dawg · February 22, 2006

Why not say exactly that?

Tell the rumor mill that this is your business and you see no reason to invite them into your private life.

The only other way possibility I see is to destroy the rumor mill by flat out saying "yes I have had the lap-band". Nothing kills gossip faster than flat our revealing the truth.

People will dress it up as being caring, showing concern, being a friend. The fact is, is that it is just downright nosey.

I am so sorry you are faced with this conundrum.

CRISTAN · February 22, 2006

I took the mantra that I want to make a difference in my life...I spent the cash, I went to Mexico..and in 7 month have lost 63 pounds. Like a recovering alcoholic, I enjoy sharing my story...plus it keeps me accountable. It sucks that your confidence has been betrayed, like dealing with little kids, only give a simple answer that you are comfortable with. If people ask I usually say I had WLS surgery and I no longer eat much....usually they ask alot of questrions, or none at all...

The truth will set you free...and you should be proud that you are doing something that will improve your life....

You can do it!

Cristan

FunnyDuddies · February 22, 2006

If anyone comesto you, just smile and say "I'd like to keep that private. No offense, but I just like to keep my medical stuff personal." If it gets bad, go to your manager. It really is no body's business.

mousecrazy · February 22, 2006

Flower, I know this is not always what people want to do, and for their own good reasons. This is one way to handle it...just come clean. Tell everyone, and then there will not be any gossip. I think we're about split 50/50 on this topic...some want privacy, some just tell. I have experienced no negative responses at all...only warm and supportive encouragement. I may just be lucky to work with fantastic people (for the most part) and I've been here forever, so that might have something to do with it, too.

Good luck with your situation, whatever you decide to do!

Cindy

juliek · February 22, 2006

JMO, but I agree that flat out telling people should stop the gossip. Just say that I had this done and I would really not like to discuss it anymore.

My co-workers know that I had the surgery and they are very respectful of my privacy regarding it. Every once in a while someone will mention that I look good, or they can tell I have doing a good job and leave it at that. I work with a bunch of techno-geeks, so they wanted to know about the mechanics of it in the beginning but that was about it.

Good luck with whatever you decide. The bottom line is it really is no one's business but your own, and you shouldn't have to share that information if you don't want to.

thenewksc · February 22, 2006

I decided to keep my surgery completely private from co-workers. Only a small handful of my friends and family even know. I decided to keep it under wraps because I knew I would encounter saboteurs everywhere I go. Plus, so many people think they understand gastric bypass, but no one understands lap band. Even the people who do know about my surgery don't understand. They still try to push me to drink at meals and offer me more food than I can eat or things that are difficult for me. I'd rather keep it quiet than have to explain. It's never enough to say you've had a procedure that limits your food intake and slows down the rate at which food goes through your stomach. Just saying I had WLS is tough because, bottom line is, even though WE all know that it isn't a short cut or easy, others definitely do and can treat you differently because you chose the surgical route.

I have lost 45 lbs since November and sure co-workers are noticing and asking me how I have done it. I just tell the truth...I'm exercising, eating right and eating less!!!!! Nothing untruthful about that!

Good luck

Marimaru · February 22, 2006

I think I would go directly to the people you spoke to and tell them that you told only them and that you told them to keep it quiet and you'd sure like to know why everyone is talking about your surgery now.