Professional Help

[his_spirit 62]

I was banded last week and adjusting to the many changes which at times has seemed overwhelming. No regrets as I feel this is the best thing, I could have done for myself to take care of me.

I have also been very emotional and going through some personal relationship issues that have made the transition even more difficult. I know that I lack confidence in areas of my life, and have low self esteem as well. Being overweight has damaged me both physically and emotionally.

The surgery was and is a big step for me in starting my personal journey towards feeling good about myself and my health. I always thought that I was strong enough to take on the emotional stuff on my own as I change and learn a new way of life but today realized that I don't think that I can.

It is a personal question but I wonder if anyone else feels that they will need professional help to learn ways to cope and change a lot of the old patterns of thinking that they have? and for those that have gone that route, did it really help?

I hope that all made sense. It has been a horrible day for me as my partner who is usually my rock for the last three years told me today that he is drained (he has personal things going on unrelated to us) and just can't be there for me right now like I need him to be. I'm heart broken by that in itself and just dont feel strong enough to do this on my own right now.

[Vanilla sky 28]

his spirit, I am so sorry for the pain that you are going through right now. I can tell you that for me personally developing a relationship with Jesus Christ gave me the strength I needed to take on the task that now lays before you. I found through him that I had value and it wasn't about what was on the outside (appearance). With Gods guidance I did seek therapy and was put on an anti depressant to help and it did. Getting therapy will help you reset the old tape you play in your head. You are going through a change physically and mentally so it's no wonder you are down Understand that you just had a big surgery and it is very common to get depressed in the first 3 weeks after surgery. Do you have any friends or family that can take care of you for another week since your partner can't? Go see someone and make sure you are comfortable with him or her so you can really open up. God bless you and I am praying for you.

[NurseDana 32]

Yes, I continue to see the psychologist that I saw for my evaluation. She has been wonderful. I have issues with food/eating and my head that no surgery could solve.

[#MagicWithinme 173]

its so hard, hard not to have that someone next to you, but you have to stay strong, we made the right choice, even though it doesnt feel like it right ow, and we keep telling ourselves it is, there is so much support here, you wont feel down for long... take care and best of luck

[his_spirit 62]

Thank you all for the kind words. I know that he feels awful (we are separated by long distance right now too). I know that in the end the only one who can deal with the issues are me. It was the right choice for me and I know it is worth it, just feels really hard right now. Have some really great friends that I can lean on sometimes but I don't like to be a burden or feel like one. Never been good at accepting help from other people, I am usually the care giver. The cabin fever isn't helping too much but when i went for a walk broke out in a cold sweat and had to come home and rest.

[#MagicWithinme 173]

I think most of us are all in that state of being the caregivers the ones that do for others to the point we didnt take care of ourselves , but now is our time, (Im saying this to myself as much to you) lets do this..

[his_spirit 62]

You are so right. Neglected myself for far too long. There is such a great group of supportive people on here. We can definitely do this.

[Puppypaws57 137]

I also have issues that I know I will need therapy to overcome.

I have been in therapy many times before, and frankly, I am burned out on it. However, if I could find a therapist that dealt in eating disorders, I would go.

Good luck and Blessings to you.

[kelli01 5]

hello, I hope I don't make thing worse for you, but I'm almost a year out and just made an appt to see my psychologist last week. I was seeing her a cple times a month started doing pretty good and hadn't seen her since Oct. Now I'm going back on the Feb 29th.

After surgery about a month later I called my surgery place and told the girl I felt like I needed to talk to talk to some one. She recommended 2 therapist that specialize in Baratric Surgery pateints.

For me right now my current issues are emotional ones. I'm fine being happy, carefree, having fun, etc....it is anger, conforntation, and fear that I'm having so much trouble processing. So not having the option to self medicate w/ food and being forced to "feel" the feelings it is SO HARD!

I emailed my therapist and she said when I come in we will work on where my emotional health has not caught up to my physical health and bridge the gap and continue to work on coping skills that don't involve food.< /p>

Hope I've helped some......In the beginning I was aggreviated that I was losing slow...now almost a year in, and 60 lbs later. I could not be more greatful that lapband is a slow, but steady process. If I had lost weight super quick I would be nuts!

Good Luck

[bev712 28]

Definitely go for professional counseling. When you have such serious life changes, the problems you were able to keep from acknowledging can become overwhelming. It is NOT FAIR to expect your significant other to help you. You need to take responsibility for your own emotional well-being. Ask a friend who has had good results in therapy for the name of her therapist. Or call the program psychologist, if you have one. Or ask your surgeon to refer you to a psychologist who specializes in bariatric surgery patients. You may also need a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication for you. Just make that phone call asap before you find yourself unable to help yourself.

[his_spirit 62]

Thank you all. It is helpful to know that I am not alone.

Good suggestion to call the surgeon and ask for a bariatric professional for the counselling.

I need to learn new ways to express myself and also how to cope with the new lifestyle changes, etc.

I know where I want to go but I need direction and help with how to get there in my mind. We have a good EAP program at work too so I will also look into that.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

good for you for taking another step to help yourself ! smart girl !! im only recently banded and have no issues with it, , but did have some therapy many years ago to deal with some other issues. best idea ever ! i always said" the human body is not perfect and can be damaged or broken at any time, and nobody would hesitate to go to the dr to get it fixed. well the human mind is not perfect either and you shouldnt hesitate about goin to the dr to get that part fixed too !" good for you for taking such good care of yourself ! you go girl !!!

[his_spirit 62]

Thanks! Mental health is as important as physical health to me. I am turning 40 this year and told myself that this is my year to finally get it together and become the best I can be. Is that a mid life crisis? lol

[#MagicWithinme 173]

speaking for myself, I have gone to the therapist not necessarily because i'm having problems but for confirmation/reassurance that Im doing things right, handling situations , letting go of unnecessary mental luggage. Taking care of me!