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Friend Beening Very Negative



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Interesting topic...I find it amazing that in this society you can ridicule, abuse, humilate and discriminate against obese people. And obese people are the only obvious group in society that this is considered socially acceptable behavior. But when obese people try to lose weight (by whatever means), apparently it is acceptable to ridicule, abuse and humilate them for doing that too. Does this ever end? This is so junior high school!

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I know exactly what you mean. Obese people who go to the gym are stared and laughed at, but then when they don't they are called lazy and humilated. I think the only way to change this is to stand up for yourself. I wish I could back and tell my 7th grade self to tell them to go, excuse my language,f@@% yourself. I don't remember how young I was when first started to get mad fun of and that is really sad. Now I know how beautiful I was even though I was fat. Why do we teach our child to look past the stereotypes of others but never correct them they make fun of fat people. Now I know I still look and the mirror and wish I was skinnier and still think that if I were skinner people would accept me more, but I am still the same person on the inside and that should be what is important.

The only way to change this is to call people out on it. I do it now, whenever I am public and I see or hear someone making fun of a fat person. I say " how dare you judge someone like that, they are still a person and deserve the same amount of respect as you give to anyone one else." You should see the look on some of their faces. You should do it to and let people know its not okay.

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I have to disagree with you there. I am short - 153cm or 5'. I get teased about my height quite often. I used to hate it but these days I'm quite cool. There is also lots of height discrimination out there except people don't realise it.

At movies or the theatre you often can't see over the head of the person in front.

Shops put goods on really high shelves that shorter people can't reach

Clothes are always too long and have to be taken up.

Dresses can be a nightmare to buy because even if you can take them up the neck to waist ratio is all wrong.

Lets not even talk maxi dresses - take those up and you lose all the pattern.

I am still convinced that shorter people are the only group that are regularly discriminated against with no law against it!

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I agree with you elcee, but I don't have any experience with being short; I've been 5'11 since the 6th grade. But my grandma is 4'11 and has told me how much adversity she has faced in her life. I also think that tall women are discriminated against. All my friends make fun of how tall I am and I used to get laughed at for being taller than all the boys in school. I know that my problems aren't as extented yours is though. The thing that I really hate about being tall is I have really big feet and they never have shoes in my size, my grandma has the same problem and she has to go shopping in the kids section.

I think the reason obese person are discriminated against is because anyone can become fat and people are really scared that they might become fat so they lash out at what they are afraid of to make themselves feel better.

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I am so sorry your friends are so negative, and hurtful towards your journey to health and happiness. We all deserve better friends than that. I haven't been banded yet, I will be a week from today. I am kind of ashamed of myself for not letting all of my friends and family know. I just don't want people to treat me that way. My best friend and her husband know, and they are so happy that I have decided to make this change in my life. But, the truth is I am really scared at how people will look at me, and react when I do lose all my weight. On one hand I really don't care because I am doing this to be healthy and to live a long life with my kids and husband. But, we all care how our friends make us feel right? Anyways, stand your ground, and when the time comes for me to, I know I will. Best wishes, be proud of your achievements, and don't let anyone take them away from you!

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they never have shoes in my size, my grandma has the same problem and she has to go shopping in the kids section.

Me too which is great when you want ballet flats or trainers , not so great when you want heels. I got really excited the other day because I found a stunning pair of shoes in my size. I actually don't understand why our big stores don't carry more small sizes as in Australia we have a huge Asian population and a lot of them are very petite and have small feet.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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