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I had surgery three days ago.... And my family has literally cooked almost all of my favorite foods in front of me...eaten them in front of me... And it's nothing to them. I realize that I can't keep them from eatin what they want to eat.... But GOD seriously? Is it crazy of me to wish they had some consideration? I am currently sitting on the couch across from my family while they're eating tacos and chips with my mom's home made guacamole... Which happens to be one of my favorite meals. Is it stupid that I want to cry? Is it always gonna be this hard or will I become tougher over time? Help! :(

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I had surgery three days ago.... And my family has literally cooked almost all of my favorite foods in front of me...eaten them in front of me... And it's nothing to them. I realize that I can't keep them from eatin what they want to eat.... But GOD seriously? Is it crazy of me to wish they had some consideration? I am currently sitting on the couch across from my family while they're eating tacos and chips with my mom's home made guacamole... Which happens to be one of my favorite meals. Is it stupid that I want to cry? Is it always gonna be this hard or will I become tougher over time? Help! :(

Go see a movie, and maybe get a new family

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Hello Bri- I have to share with you because I can feel your pain. I was banded on the Jan. 19th and on my way home, My Sister, who picked me up from the hospital stopped at both Burger King and Dunkin donuts!!! What was she thinking! I am not interested in stopping other people from eating their dinners, but really...on the way home from the hospital! I know how you feel!

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I know too know how you feel. About a week after surgery I was on the liquid diet and very hungry. My husband stopped at dunkin donuts and brought home a half dozen. No its not stupid that you want to cry because I DID cry. lol It gets easier over time. The good news is you will be able to have those things again only you will be eating much smaller protions. Hang in there...this next few weeks is the hardest and then your home free

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You are not alone my friend. It is sad. My family made fajitas in front of me while I was just a few days post banding. I went to the bathroom and got in the tub. I barely had any Water in it as a bath is a post op no no. I kept my incisions dry and poured in the bubble bath. I cried and and I cried with my luke warm water that wouldnt clean a two year old but it made me feel so much better. Sometimes I personally just need a good cry to pull myself up by my bootstraps. When I came out the kitchen was clean and the aroma was gone. It gets better I promise!!! Hugs to you.

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My parents had my brother's graduation party a week after I was banded...talk about temptations. I told them I was not going to come, but they got mad, so i went and was miserable, but it will get better. I now eat whatever I want...just smaller portions!

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some people just don't think about how it mentally affects you. my family felt so guilty about eating in front of me 4 days post op, they didn't want to. LOL! but i was fine with it as i was not hungry at all!

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I had surgery three days ago.... And my family has literally cooked almost all of my favorite foods in front of me...eaten them in front of me... And it's nothing to them. I realize that I can't keep them from eatin what they want to eat.... But GOD seriously? Is it crazy of me to wish they had some consideration? I am currently sitting on the couch across from my family while they're eating tacos and chips with my mom's home made guacamole... Which happens to be one of my favorite meals. Is it stupid that I want to cry? Is it always gonna be this hard or will I become tougher over time? Help! sad.png

Let me ask you something....

Are they all overweight ? or the Majoritey of them Over Weight ?

If the answer is YES ! Then Honey, you have the last laugh on them.

As you learn to hang in there, and control your own self, they will continue to get bigger, and bigger, as you get smaller, let them "KILL THEMSELVES WITH KINDNESS, as they say" and you will be the one coming out on top. Wait and see, you'll see what I mean. Just keep it together, and leave if you have to. Go shopping or for a walk at a Mall or something.

Exercise goes Great with this band, and you will see the difference.

But LET THEM ENDULDGE, AND BULDGE.

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That really sucks. I would guess they are either jealous or just really inconsiderate. Keep strong.

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On the other hand, it may not have occurred to them that seeing them eat what they consider to be normal foods would be hard for you. You might try saying something kindly along the lines of, "Guys, I'm not asking you to change what you eat, but it is really hard for me to see you eating that stuff at the moment. I've just had weight loss surgery. Could you help me by...." and then be really specific about what you need them to do.

Having the surgery is your decision, not theirs, so they cannot be expected to understand how their actions make you feel unless you tell them.

Once I spoke to my husband, who really wasn't eating anything too bad, he just kept it out of my sight. Now he is my greatest champion and eats and exercises with me.

Good luck.

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Go see a movie, and maybe get a new family

My husband decided to cook chocolate chip muffins not long after my surgery, maybe I should have got a new husband!

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I went to a friend's 60th birthday party about 6 days post op so still on Clear Liquids. At one point my mother pointed out something on the buffet table and asked me what it was (we were sitting across the room). Now when I pointed out to her that since I was on a liquid diet and did not want to know what delicious food was on the table she did apologize.

Sometimes people just don't realize how hard this is.

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Hi Bri I was the same way bt the difference was that they supported me and asked my first before they cooked anything and apologixe. But you have your self and be string about the wieght loss.

Wish you al the luck

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We can't expect other's to change the way they eat because we chose to eat healthier and change our lifestyle. We just have to be strong and make the right decisions. We are tempted every time we get in a car and pass by our favorite fast food restaurant. Life is all about choices. Let's stay strong.

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I had my surgery two days before thanksgiving over a year ago and it was torture. I think it mainly due to the fact that so many of us have an emotional relationship with food. Its been a friend and a comfort. Your family really should be more considerate, but you were the one who decided to have the surgery. Maybe your new healthy lifestyle will rub off on them. Until then I would try to distance yourself from the food at least until you have good restriction then it won't be so hard. Good Luck!

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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