Need some support

Mona · February 18, 2006

I divorced my husband and I have since remarried. I ended up marrying a close friend of mine and he and I get along great. He himself used to weight nearly 300lb. so he understands what I'm goin' through here. He is extremely supportive and understanding and loving. We are both christians and heavily depend on the Lord. Thank you for your message and I hope we can stay in touch in the future. I'm still waitin on approval from my insurance company.

K@t · February 18, 2006

Kat,
Silly girl, you are loved lolol

I think your DH is just very nervous about the surgery. My suggestion would be to bring him with you when you talk to the surgeon. Thats what I did and when my DH walked out of the office w/me he said.... your going for the band RIGHT? LOLOL !!! I said yes dear.

Maybe you and/or your doctor can make it clear to him that this is a serious situation of you being over weight and the older you get the more damage the extra weight can cause the body.

I too was/am fat since I'm 6 years old. I remember my first diet at the age of 10. Broiled burgers (hockey pucks) and green Beans w/no butter. OMG while the rest of my family ate meat loaf and taters... WTF???????? how sad is that to a child. But my mama tried.

Anyway..... Your gonna have to calm your DH fears and having him talk to the doctor might be the way to go.... just a suggestion.

Good luck !!!!

Yeah I think my hubby is just mostly worried about the surgery, and about what eatting in this house is going to be like after I'm banded. (hes such a big baby! ) But he want's me to be happy and if this is it then he's in for the long haul. He is going to the appoinment considering that the Doc doesn't speak english and, while my portuguese is good, understanding medical jargon might be a bit difficult. So he is coming in case I don't understand some things.

I did tell my sister that I was thinking about doing it and i gave her the before and after thread to look at. Well, she blabbed and my mom called me all freaked out telling me I better not have any surgery done and that it was to dangerous etc.... *sigh* :phanvan I knew there was a reason I didn't tell her. I just said no mom and yes mom to whatever she wanted to hear. Good thing I'm like 50 billion miles away and she cant stop me from doing whatever I want! :heh: The one thing I hear on the forum a LOT is that people wish they had had it done sooner. I'm 25 and almost 250lbs, and I don't want to hit 40 and be 300lbs wondering why I didn't do this sooner. I will never know what's going to happen unless I take the chance.

Any way, Thanks for all the support I'm really finding this forum helpful. If any one wants to chat with me personally please e mail me at: heather.pascoa@gmail.com

I check my mail daily and love to talk!

NJChick · February 18, 2006

Your right Kat...dont' wait until your 40 and like me 41 and heading towards 300 lbs I had to do something. People will always be afraid of what they don't understand so hang in there.

Mona · February 19, 2006

That's right. I'm 35 myself and I AM over 300lb. Just about every health problem I have right now is because of my weight. I want control over this problem and I know God is helping me every step of the way. I believe God will use this as a way to help me and so many others take back our lives. May God bless you.

paula · February 19, 2006

:welcome: Im extending this to ALL the newbies that are on this thread.

(Esp. Mona :wave: Hi!)

Yeah I think my hubby is just mostly worried about the surgery, and about what eatting in this house is going to be like after I'm banded.

How funny! But true. ALLLLLLL men seem to have this fear when their wife is nearing this surgery.... LOL. I had to laugh though.

Kat, be cautious with who you tell. Some will be supportive - some not. I told only my immediate family (another LBT member said that only her husband knew). Go with your gut feelings on who to tell.

After you have the surgery and lose 40+ pounds, and everyone is wondering what you are doing to lose weight - you can reveal your secret THEN!

Good luck, and again WELCOME EVERYONE!

K@t · February 19, 2006

Kat, be cautious with who you tell. Some will be supportive - some not. I told only my immediate family (another LBT member said that only her husband knew). Go with your gut feelings on who to tell.

After you have the surgery and lose 40+ pounds, and everyone is wondering what you are doing to lose weight - you can reveal your secret THEN!

Good luck, and again WELCOME EVERYONE!

Yeah, I didn't want to tell any one except my husband, but he says we should tell my in-laws because he said they may be hurt if they find out i was having surgery and didn't tell them. He says they aren't that judgemental. Maybe they aren't to your face but who knows what their really thinking. Until I know more its going to be just between my hubby and all you guys in the forum. When a date is set for surgery then maybe we will tell his family, but my family isn't going to find out for sure until after I have lost some weight!

Ohh, and btw, i found a guy here in Portugal that had it done. He has lost 48lbs since his surgery on Nov.29 05. He started at 350lbs so thats pretty good results I think. However he said they had him on a liquid diet for a month! Only Soups, orange juice and yougerts. He also said that our state insurance (the one the govt. gives us for free, every one who is employeed in Portugal is covered) paid for it. It was absolutly free! Problem with that is, if you go the state route, they choose the doctor and facility for you and they schedual it for when ever they want, which means you may have to wait months, even years. If you go private you can pick your doctor and facility and of course the date you want it done. I will know more next Friday after my appt. I'll keep you all updated.

Mona · February 19, 2006

Yeah this is true. My current husband is very supportive of this whole experience. He has lost quiet a bit of weight himself--of course, I believe men lose weight faster and easier than women--not all but a great # of them anyway--in my experience. My husband knows exactly what's gonna be involved and he just said 'whatever it takes to make me happy'. Yes, I am blessed but I couldn't say that of my ex-husband when all this first started about 2 yr ago. Hope to talk to yall soon. Have a great day!

paula · February 19, 2006

Kat,

You like cats or something?? hehe

so, you are in Portugal? Neat! I think you are the first LBT member from there (I think). Glad to have you!

And regarding WHO to tell about your surgery and when.... at the time I was planning my surgery, my thoughts were this ~ once I tell they will always know. Every time they see me they are going to LOOK for a weightloss. I will be open for public opinion!

I didnt like that idea!

K@t · February 19, 2006

Hehehe.. I LOVE cats!! I have 2, a ginger cat named Mia, and we just got our second one a tiger kitty with a broken tail, we named her Annie. I love pretty much any thing cats. My hubby says our house is decorated in cats and candles!

Yeah Portugal, I'm orginally from Florida, but my hubby is Portuguese so we moved here.

I'm right there with you about who to tell. When ever I started a new diet and told any one then when they see me again its like, so how is the diet going blah blah etc. I honestly really don't want to tell any one, however my hubby's uncle is a doctor here with his own clinic and he may have some connections to help me get scheduled faster so I might end up having to tell any way if I want to get some inside help. (Portugal is really bad about red tape and it's ALWAYS about who you know)

N e way, here is a link to my msn spaces. There are TONS of photos of me and my hubby and my kitties, and I sometimes post my random thoughts there as well. Take a look if you have time.

http://spaces.msn.com/hpascoa/