Banded And Failing

[soonerfan56 0]

I had a lap band and stomach plication performed on June 28th of 2010. At first the weight loss was awesome and I was so happy with my important and expensive decision to have the surgery. But since the middle part of November I have been really struggling. I had the surgery because of my obvious issues with food. I had thought that after enduring the pain of surgery the result would be that it would be difficult for me to overeat. I hope that you do a better job of listening than I did. When they said weight loss surgery is only a tool, that is exactly what they meant. My father had a bypass performed back in 1972 and he was able to eat all and whatever he wanted and he lost weight almost without any willpower at all. He also had to take a ton of Vitamins, shots, and suffered with kidney stones the remainder of his life. The surgery finally took his life about 7 years ago. Because of that I kept thinking my surgery would produce spectacular results. However, what I am finding is I will be on a strict low calorie diet the rest of my life, or, I will gain weight again. I have regained 40 of the 65 pounds that I had lost and it has left me feeling frustrated and upset with myself. I feel so mad at me for failing. I can not help but feel shame for my regression. I am going back next week to visit my surgeons office and I am not looking forward to it because I hate failure. Please don't do as I have. I have almost had to start from scratch but I can not let my self down. I wish there was a good support group; near me but I really don't have that option. Good luck to all of you and I have been encouraged by finding this sight. It is the closest thing to a support group I have found.

[mags2u 57]

First off thank you for your honesty. Secondly get the word failure out of your vocabulary. I have not had the surgery yet, but I've been overweight yo-yo up and down my entire life. We self sabotage our success. For every "failure", you need to recognize a success, like the fact that you took a step to save your life! Start from scratch. Take today and make it yours. Your surgeon is not your enemy, he's there to help. Prayers for you in getting back on track. Thank you again for posting!

[byrd 28]

it is not too late o fix this. take a minute and remember why you started this journey in the beginning and keep pushing. We all fall down...but you can get up. keep your head up!!!! this too shall pass

[PattyGirl66 1,243]

I also have not had the surgery as of yet ( I am waiting on approval). This site is the best site for support you can find. You are right about something, this is just a tool (so I have also been told). We have to work with it, it will not work for us. Please talk with your surgeon and meet with other people on here, there is a chat room you can discuss everything with, I am almost in there every night for support. I can't give you the answers you are looking for because I have not been banded yet, but there are tons of people on here that have and can give you the best advice. You are not a failure, don't give up on yourself (thats my motto).

Hope to see you in the chat some time,

[soonerfan56 0]

Thank you all for your response. It is really easy to get frustrated, but I am only human. I'm just one of those type A personalities.

[mags2u 57]

Thank you all for your response. It is really easy to get frustrated, but I am only human. I'm just one of those type A personalities.

I agree with Patty Girl that this site is for all of us bandsters to stick together! Some of my family doesn't even understand, stating well can't you just do it on your own. I too am completely a Type A personality which is where I think we get in to trouble, because we CAN"T control this sometimes. Keep positive!

[xavier 153]

Dear Sooner,

The only way you can fail this is to quit. If I had to be on a lifelong diet I would fail too. I am at a level of restriction where I simply cannot overeat...I think you may need a fill! Good luck...be nice to yourself!

[soonerfan56 0]

Thank you all, it really means a lot.

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

I'm a type A person too, but as much as I understand your disappointment in yourself, I have to tell you to stop kicking yourself and move on. Kicking yourself isn't going to take you anywhere you really want to go. Going back to your surgeon is the best course of action. Your surgeon will probably be happy that you're not forever lost to aftercare and so what if you get a stern lecture? You know you deserve it, and it's not going to be any surprise to anyone at your surgeon's office that you're struggling with eating issues that they already knew you have. And maybe you'll also get the guidance and encouragement you need to get back on track.

One more thing...if you can afford it, you might want to consider counseling to help you figure out why you've been sabotaging yourself and what you can do about it.

Jean

[kaydin81 8]

Yes, we MUST stick together. And that means sometimes coming in here and pouring your guts out to people who are open and who will listen. I have learned so much from this site, but the one thing you must remember is.....ITS NOT TOO LATE!! Yes, you have struggled, but I guarantee you that there is motivation inside you to turn this around. You are still on the losing side, you haven't gained ALL of it back. I understand it is so frustrating for you, but take that frustration and start walking it out. Get motivated like you were a couple years ago. You can do this. It is all a mental game we suffer from. I have sworn a million times again I won't regain my weight back. This time I mean it for crying out loud. Take control, you can do it!!!! Come here for support. We'll be here to encourage and help you take control again. Good luck, my friend. Prepare yourself for the surgeons office. Go into it knowing what you will find, but be determined that won't make you eat bad that day. Make it be a good day of sticking to your healthier lifestyle. Remember, nothing happens overnight.

I suppose I will give you support, even though you're a sooner fan (I think I just pb'd saying that)

[elcee 3,340]

I have to disagree with Xavier. It is not just about how much you eat but what you eat as well. It is not possible for the band to stop you eating the incorrect foods no matter how tight it is. chocolate, Cookies , icecream etc will always go down really easily and as they are high calorie they cause weight gain and they are also not satisfying.This is how the band is a tool - it helps to reduce hunger so that it is easier to make the correct choices but it does not make those choices for you.

I think most of us would be really happy if they invented some kind of surgery where we could eat what we wanted in the quantities that we wanted and still lose weight. Unfortunately ( but probably luckily too) I don't think that this will ever happen. In order to stay healthy there are certain types of food that we should be eating a lot more of and others (the ones we would prefer to eat) that we should be eating a lot less of.

As the others have said you have not failed until you have given up. Go back to your Dr and check that all is in order and that you have sufficient restriction and then recommit to making good choices. Remember it is about what you do 90% of the time that counts, no-one expects you to eat perfectly 100% of the time.

Good luck

[soonerfan56 0]

Again thank you folks you have all been very helpful. Sorry K state. lol

[Catherine55 43]

You've only been at this for a year -- the race isn't over yet! (And it's not a race .. slow & steady is the way to go.) It sounds like you may need to manage your fils better. Also, I've found therapy to be a hugely useful tool during this process.

The band does take work, but it makes losing the weight -- and keeping it off -- possible. I was never able to do this without my band. But now, I've been at goal for well over a year, and the maintance has been easy. That is because I work out regularly and I watch what I eat, within reason. It does not feel like a "diet" to me at all. I generally try to make good food choices, but I still eat whatever I want -- just in much smaller quantities than I did before surgery.

Please don't be detered by this -- and please don't give up. Talk to your doctor and find out what tweaks you need to make to wind up being a success with your band.

Best wishes,

Catherine

[kelly2812 0]

im in the same boat. banded a month after you and only down 28 lbs. most of it lost in the first few months by not doing much at all. i cant get food out of my head. its easier for people who have been able to overcome to give advice but its not so easy taking it and putting it to use. good luck.

[soonerfan56 0]

I should have mentioned this to begin with. It really had not connected until a couple of you mentioned my mental state. I really had not thought I was letting this news affect me. I received news from my family doctor after my yearly physical that my PSA had indicated I needed to be checked for prostate cancer just before Thanksgiving. I had developed symptoms about the same time among which was fatigue. I was up to a 4 mile walk 6 days a week until this happened. I am still undergoing test at this time because I had developed a severe infection and it could very well be the cause of the high PSA. But I have to wait until March now for a biopsy to confirm or refute. Still it's just another excuse. I have determined not to dwell any longer on it and get back on track. You folks are the most inspiration I have had during this whole process. What a blessing this has been for me and others like us. Again, thank you all very much for your words of encouragement.