A Tiny Thanksgiving Dilemma

[legnarevocrednu 47]

Okay so I know this is a really weird thing to post and ask peoples opinions on, but I'm just wondering if anyone else faced a similar situation. On Monday the 21st, I will be getting my lapband surgery. I'm psyched about it and I'm all prepared. I don't mind not being able to eat on Thanksgiving at all. However, a guy that I'm seeing (he's unaware that I'm getting surgery and I prefer not to tell him), invited me over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner. I REALLY want to go but knowing that I can't eat anything, I don't know how that's going to work. It would be really obvious and weird to him and his family if I don't eat anything. I don't see any way around this. The sad part is that my mom and my sister are both working night shift that night so we are not really doing anything for Thanksgiving. So if I don't go over his house, I will be spending Thanksgiving alone. I have personal reasons for not telling him. I'm not ashamed at all, I've told lots of people, but he's very opinionated and I have a feeling he would not approve and would share his negativity with me. Also, he seems to like me the way I am. Just yesterday, when I told him I was on a diet, he asked me why. I really don't think there is anything I can do. It just makes me sad that I'll be spending the holiday alone because I can't eat. Just figured I'd throw this out there in case anyone else has some insight. Thanks!

[shirley36 14]

how do u think he will feel later when he finds out he might hurt u didnt trust him enough to tell him.best to be honest only my opinion good luck with your surgery and thanksgiving

[legnarevocrednu 47]

how do u think he will feel later when he finds out he might hurt u didnt trust him enough to tell him.best to be honest only my opinion good luck with your surgery and thanksgiving

It sucks, and I wish I could tell him, but I don't feel comfortable doing so. There is just something inside of me that says not to tell him. I don't know why. I don't know how I'll feel about it after the surgery, but I really think it's for the best that he not know. Oh and he's not the type to get upset or hurt over me not telling him. There are other things we don't share with each other. We aren't THAT serious yet.

[amanda_leigh78 3]

If you do not feel like telling him that is your choice. You have a few options, you can say that you have a stomach bug and dont go or if you do go tell them you are getting over food poising and that your doctor will only allow you to eat liquids. This way it is only a little white lie.

[feliciadawn 22]

If you can't or won't tell him these things, what kind of relationship are you going to have anyway? Seriously, if you can't be honest, you have nothing. If he doesn't understand or doesn't like that you are doing this for yourself, he's not the one. It's hard to hear, I know, but if you can't trust each other, it's time to move on.

[justmermp 6]

First I will say this. It is none of his business and he doesn't have a say in what you do to your body. It's YOUR body. However, it's kinda sad that you can't talk to him and even if he doesn't agree to just 'disagree to disagree' and understand it's YOUR decision. With that said, if you are absolutely set on not telling him and you don't want to spend the holiday alone you could fake being sick that day or acting like you are coming down with something and thats why you don't want to eat. Good luck with YOUR decision (lol) and Happy Thanksgiving

[Stacie from St. Louis 3]

I like the "getting over food poisoning" idea.

If you do not feel like telling him that is your choice. You have a few options, you can say that you have a stomach bug and dont go or if you do go tell them you are getting over food poising and that your doctor will only allow you to eat liquids. This way it is only a little white lie.

[feliciadawn 22]

Just to add to what I said before...I think it's totally understandable not to want his parents or his family to know, it's none of THEIR business. BUT, you really should tell him, especially if the relationship has already progressed to the point where you are spending Thanksgiving with his family. He should and probably will understand. Don't worry! He will probably be happy you are going to be getting healthier! If he's not happy for you, he's REALLY REALLY not worth it, please find someone who appreciates you for who you are!

[legnarevocrednu 47]

Okay so I know this is a really weird thing to post and ask peoples opinions on, but I'm just wondering if anyone else faced a similar situation. On Monday the 21st, I will be getting my lapband surgery. I'm psyched about it and I'm all prepared. I don't mind not being able to eat on Thanksgiving at all. However, a guy that I'm seeing (he's unaware that I'm getting surgery and I prefer not to tell him), invited me over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner. I REALLY want to go but knowing that I can't eat anything, I don't know how that's going to work. It would be really obvious and weird to him and his family if I don't eat anything. I don't see any way around this. The sad part is that my mom and my sister are both working night shift that night so we are not really doing anything for Thanksgiving. So if I don't go over his house, I will be spending Thanksgiving alone. I have personal reasons for not telling him. I'm not ashamed at all, I've told lots of people, but he's very opinionated and I have a feeling he would not approve and would share his negativity with me. Also, he seems to like me the way I am. Just yesterday, when I told him I was on a diet, he asked me why. I really don't think there is anything I can do. It just makes me sad that I'll be spending the holiday alone because I can't eat. Just figured I'd throw this out there in case anyone else has some insight. Thanks!

I really, really WANT to tell him, but instinct is holding me back. I'm hoping I'll feel different afterwards but who knows. I just was not expecting this hurdle and it stumped me. I think I'll just make an excuse why I can't make dinner and go over after they eat. It's better then nothing! Thanks for your responses and Happy Thanksgiving!

[hightower 1]

Maybe still go, but tell them you were sick the day before and only have Soup. Or tell him/ them that you had gallbladder surgery and are on a restricted diet until you heal.

[nayttap 4]

"I'm having a minor outpatient procedure tomorrow and cannot eat"................not a lie, not the details...........................

[Allison0927 329]

I like the minor outpatient procedure tomorrow idea - how else are you going to explain the scars?

[Aria3 4]

If you can't or won't tell him these things, what kind of relationship are you going to have anyway? Seriously, if you can't be honest, you have nothing. If he doesn't understand or doesn't like that you are doing this for yourself, he's not the one. It's hard to hear, I know, but if you can't trust each other, it's time to move on.

Agree

[vlp1968 83]

I would go- seems like you really want to. I agree, it's nobody's business but yours. Are you doing protien shakes right away? I did, but every doctor is different. I would bring over whatever it is your doc. has you drinking and say you are looking to loose weight. Not a lie at all. Hopefully, that will be the end of it.

[sam3841 57]

I was banded last year the Tuesday before thanksgiving. This is what I did and only my mom and sister knew that I had been banded and there were another 20 or so people there. I told everyone that I had the flu and wasn't feeling well but I was feeling better than I had. I got some mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce and mashed the cranberry sauce up and pushed the mash potatoes around. My dad still does not know. I did cheat and had some stuffing on Friday, its my favorite I mixed some broth in with it. I hope this helps.