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who have you told?



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I have a question as a newbie on this forum. Who have you told about your lapband surgery or up coming surgery? My surgery is next week on the 18th and I have told no one except my husband and kids and 2 very close friends who would not tell anyone (they know how private I am about this).

I haven't told my mother in law who I see at least twice a week mainly because I have lived under her scrutiny for so many years, she would be watching me constantly. That is mainly the same reason I haven't told

anyone else. We all have to eat to live, but I don't think I could eat in front of anyone who knew. At least not right now.

i would love to hear how everyone else feels about this.

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Everyone in my life that matters knows and my co-workers know, it's no secret. But I don't go screaming it from the rooftops, it's on a need to know basis but I don't hide it. I'm not ashamed, afraid or intimdated by anyone that might judge me. Some people are negative, some are great supporters. I do understand some banders wanting to keep it a secret. It's a personal choice, but for me I don't care who knows or what anyone thinks about it, if they care enough they'll want to be educated about it and if not, they can kiss it. My boyfriend, family and friends know it's not a magic bullet, they know I watch everything I eat 90% of the time and that I work out as much as I can. They also know I'm losing slowly and sometimes I indulge a little infront of them and we laugh and joke that I'm "cheating" it's all in fun though. It's a journey and a process, there are times when I gain a few but I'm only human, no one is perfect at this.

It's a shame that there are people watching and judging making some of us feel bad about what we are doing, we make our selves feel bad enough when we mess up, we really don't need it from them. I've been losing since surgery and it's great, I have my ups and downs but that's to be expected, my boyfriend, friends, family and myself don't expect me to lose all my weight over night, they actually think it's great that it's coming off slowly and that I'm healthy. Luckily I have great supporters, not everyone does, but we all run into the nay sayers. I say screw them it's their problem for not being educated. You tell who you want to tell, no one is entitiled to knowing. Good luck to you!

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I have to tell this story.. Last Thursday I went on a date with this a guy. He didnt know I was banded at the time. So we go to dinner I order only I know that should go down without any problems. But, we have a drink with dinner I didnt follow the rule of waiting 30 mins. So halfway thru dinner I get sick and excuse myself and go to bathroom to spit up.. I thought I was good to go back to the table. 10 mins later I have to go back to the bathroom. The killer of the evening is when we are driving home I get sick again. He talking to me asking if I was all right.. Mind you I cant talk at the moment. He wouldnt stop talking to me. Next thing I knew I was throwing up in his car.. I was so embrassed I had no choice but to tell him.. He was ok after I told.. Really its nobody business you have to pick and choose who you tell.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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