(I posted this on another thread but decided to start a new one so noone would think it was pointed at them personally.)

I'm sorry but I have finally reached a point, after reading so many posts about disappointments in weight loss, that I have to get some things off my chest. And please, this isn't meant to make anyone in particular feel bad, it's to help me understand why anyone would -want- to stuff themselves with a quarterpounder and large chips (fries) or 3 slices of pizza or tacos and burritos when they have gone thru weight loss surgery to get their cherished lapband?? Why do people have to 'test' their bands by stuffing in as much as they can to see what the limits are?

This isn't just about restricting how much you can manage to cram into yourself. It's about lifestyle changes. It's about eating reasonably and the band is there to HELP you. Not magically change quarter pounders, pizza, tacos and burritos into "health food." Your band WILL NOT MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT. If you do not change how you eat, you will be here a year from now posting similair questions.. if you still have your band.

Think about this. A quarter pounder has 530 calories and 30 grams of fat. A large order of chips (fries) 542 calories and 26 grams of fat. Three slices of pan pizza (I'll even go veggie on this to show my point) has 810 calories and 36 grams of fat. And now, just for interest's sake - three slices of pan supreme pizza has 960 calories and 51 grams of fat.

This is -tough- love coming from a very obese woman who is desperately trying to understand what drives us to ruin our health. What drives us to take such chances? To push the envelope. We all know we'll be upset when we fail, or when we end up with diabetes, or worse.

*sighs* I know you all have the intelligence to make wiser choices. You know youre banded. Don't go out without some emergency food with you if you think youre going to be starving before you can get home. Starkist makes great tuna lunch packs that are great for in the car.

Damnit, why do I always feel so responsible. I just couldn't let this go without shouting to you all... What are you doing to yourselves??? Stop!!

This was written with pure love and a heavy heart. I want ALL of us to be free of this damn weight so we can really live! Wake up and start living people!

[i quote=Big Dog]a trait ive never been known for.

I am being banded March 14 by Dr. Rumbaut...I can't wait. Did you have any problems?:biggrin1: Where do you go for Fills?:tired Donna

[i quote=Big Dog]a trait ive never been known for.

[QOUTE]

I am being banded March 14 by Dr. Rumbaut...I can't wait. Did you have any problems?:biggrin1: Where do you go for Fills?:tired Donna

sent you a pm.

There are some people who want to be cuddled and coddled when they fall down off their roller skates.

There are others that push people away who try to help.

And there are still others who say "I can do this on my own."

On the other hand, if you took three people who watched the person fall off their roller skates, they'd have three different reactions: Running to help, berating, and asking if any help was needed.

Support for anything - be it the band, an addiction, or an injury - runs the same course. We all bring different life experience to this board. We all have our own ways of supporting and being supported.

The absolute worst thing anyone can do is take that personally. It saddens me that people do.

I have a sister who is a perpetual victim. Everything that has gone wrong in her life is someone else's fault. There is no doubt that 41 years of that colors the way I address issues. Everyone has that color - be it white, yellow, red or blue - we all have color. When I screw up, it's all on me. I do not berate myself (anymore - pre-band, I certainly did). I do not run those horrible tapes that a few people described (and could have been mine). But I do take responsibility for it, and I own it.

I didn't see anyone judging anyone else on this thread, and I'm sorry folks felt judged. But the next time you read something and you feel that way, take into account how *many* people there are here who share that experience, and how many *other* people on this board do not.

I know that such a low amount of calories is not perfect, but it is what works for me. When I can see the scale moving down it keeps me motivated. If I only see a pound every other week I lose interest and will just eat everything in sight as if what's the point. I know it is not the healthiest, but I feel like I was making up for the binge the night before. I'm pretty strict about staying under 800 a day during the week and on weekends I am much more lax with that. I figure it all evens out in the end. Funny the games we play with ourselves to eat the correct amount of food and calories in a day. Now if I could stick to a regular workout routine I would be in business.

I must admit I was asked to bring the monthly Birthday Cake to work the other day and was asked to make the "Almost Better than Sex" cake. Well I did and I also had a piece. I felt so guilty, I didn't eat the rest of the day. I will not make any more no no deserts or cakes to bring to work. If they want a treat from me, it will be healthy from now on.

I guess we learn from our mistakes and I sure did. Recipies are from my Weight Watchers cookbooks from now on.

Schel

Everyone is indeed different, and has different needs. That is why I keep emphasizing addressing more than one aspect of your weight loss. Surgery is not enough, alone it is only PART of what will get you healthy.

I never said it would happen overnight, I never said you should deprive yourself of all pleasure in food forever, I said you need to look at your whole picture.

Think about it, why did you get the band? To look better... maybe, to feel better...sure, to live better...yes. Don't stop at one thing, address all aspects of your weight problem, nutritional, educational, psychological, physical etc. Only then can you achieve good health. Not every aspect is for every bandster, but I can almost guarantee that the surgery alone will work for no one.

I guess I just can't keep my mouth shut.

P

I guess I just can't keep my mouth shut.

P

Paul, I don't want you to keep your mouth shut, your posts are very valuable to this community of bandsters and non-bandsters

Everyone is indeed different, and has different needs.

I think that illustrates everything.

If you need a big loving hug, you can get one here.

If you need a swift kick in the pants, you've come to the right place.

If you need advice, you'll find an abundancy.

But....

If don't need a hug and you need a kick in the pants, and know what you need to do. You will get HUGS and you will get a kick in the pants and you WILL get advice.

The same can be said for anything. In each thing there will be sympathy, advice, and probably one or two "WAKE UP you DINK!"s.

Take what you need, throw the rest away. We can't know what you need. So we'll all give what WE think you need.

Instead of getting hurt, think "they probably were thinking I needed to hear that, but I can't deal with that today".

There.. thats easy isn't it? If you can isolate your emotions and think like a robot that is.

I will hurt you one day when I try and help you. I won't mean to, but I will. One day I won't give you sound advice. One day I won't give you a hug when you need it.

I'm human. Always trying to do what's right, but what I think is right, might be wrong for you.

So, in an attempt to be all things for all people:

(((HUGS))), You know eating unhealthy is bad for you, why don't you try and divert the desire from food to something more healthy? Now you need to shape up and get with the program!!

Remember everyone, we are not only dealing with a 'mental-relearning', but our bodies (from years of overeating and eating un-healthy) are suffering from a literal withdrawl.

What we feel - desire, craving, want . . . for food - is real!! Have you every tried to quit smoking? Ever tried to stop drinking so much caffeine? Over-eating has the same physical affects on us that cigarrettes and cokes do.

It will take daily fighting; minute by minute and sometimes second by second to rid ourselves of the physical connection we have to food. Have any of you see the movie "Supersize Me"? If not, you should. I show it to my freshman health classes. It will help you understand what I'm saying. It was a rude awaking for me -. I hope this helps.

Lovingly stated by a high school biology/health teacher who was/is overweight and banded. Thank God.

If you need a big loving hug, you can get one here.

If you need a swift kick in the pants, you've come to the right place.

If you need advice, you'll find an abundancy.

But....

If don't need a hug and you need a kick in the pants, and know what you need to do. You will get HUGS and you will get a kick in the pants and you WILL get advice.

The same can be said for anything. In each thing there will be sympathy, advice, and probably one or two "WAKE UP you DINK!"s.

Take what you need, throw the rest away. We can't know what you need. So we'll all give what WE think you need.

Instead of getting hurt, think "they probably were thinking I needed to hear that, but I can't deal with that today".

There.. thats easy isn't it? If you can isolate your emotions and think like a robot that is.

I will hurt you one day when I try and help you. I won't mean to, but I will. One day I won't give you sound advice. One day I won't give you a hug when you need it.

I'm human. Always trying to do what's right, but what I think is right, might be wrong for you.

So, in an attempt to be all things for all people:

(((HUGS))), You know eating unhealthy is bad for you, why don't you try and divert the desire from food to something more healthy? Now you need to shape up and get with the program!!

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Can I slap you now?? Good DAWG!!! *fwap* I'm just practising! lol

You two must be the MOST amazing couple - I love how your minds work.

I wonder if part of the problem (original topic - WHY does it seem as though some people do everything possible to sabotage their success by continuing to eat all the non-nutritious foods that got them obese in the first place, and then whine and complain that they're not losing weight???) (I think I got that right! P'Nut??)

Anyway, I wonder if part of the problem is that some people do not really realize that the lapband has NO malabsorption portion to its toolbox. Since some docs seem to treat their lapband patients the same as their RnY patients, perhaps it was never really explained to them that 1 slice pizza post banding = 1 slice pizza pre-banding. Which isn't true for the WLS that have a malabsorption portion.

I still agree that malabsorption or no, a steady diet of fast food and sugar, no matter WHAT kind of WLS you may have had, will NOT help you meet your weightloss goals. After 2 years even the RnY cannot save you from yourself in that regard.

Anyway, I wonder if part of the problem is that some people do not really realize that the lapband has NO malabsorption portion to its toolbox. Since some docs seem to treat their lapband patients the same as their RnY patients, perhaps it was never really explained to them that 1 slice pizza post banding = 1 slice pizza pre-banding. Which isn't true for the WLS that have a malabsorption portion.

You know, that's an interesting theory. I've sat in on many pre-op seminars, and the LB lack of malabsorption is glossed over in a quick way and made to sound like a bad thing. I think it's a GOOD thing, of course, but it doesn't get the attention it deserves if it's only presented in an offhand way as a "negative" of the surgery. This may bear closer scrutiny.

Hmmmm.....

You know, that's an interesting theory. I've sat in on many pre-op seminars, and the LB lack of malabsorption is glossed over in a quick way and made to sound like a bad thing. I think it's a GOOD thing, of course, but it doesn't get the attention it deserves if it's only presented in an offhand way as a "negative" of the surgery. This may bear closer scrutiny.

Hmmmm.....

I personally think one of the beauties of the Lapband is its lack of malabsorbtion. It makes for a healthier diet and less reliance on suplements. Also it means no dumping which is a charming side effect of malabsorbtion.

It also means you have less stinky BM's which is also a good thing, as I wouldn't go within 20 yards of a bathroom that my former boss had visited.

Lets think on the positive, the lapband is the WLS that leaves you with the most 'normal' digestive system. Restriction without complication (other than PB and things getting plain ole stuck).

Oh, and as for slapping me in advance Donali, I guarantee I deserve it, or will deserve it within the next 24hrs, so have at it

hey PHOTONUT: I think they are doing this (my best guess and personal experience) because we haven't relearned how to eat yet. We still have the old habits. We didn't learn these habits overnight and we certainly won't unlearn them overnight. Unless you are a fast learner you will continue to eat the same way you did before banding after banding. You just will.

I was a good bandster for the first 8 to 12 months then something snapped and I wanted to try a burger. I fooled myself into thinking that the meat was the healthiest part so I didn't eat the bun. Red meat has the highest fat content of all the meats. It isn't even about the cheese either. Just the meat is bad. LOL!!

So it is all about educating ourselves about what we put into our mouths and stomachs. How many calories, fat, carbs, sodium, protein, etc! Until we all learn that lesson people will continue to test the waters so to speak. SIGH!! Sad but true.

I am re-educating myself on all this right now. And I am a work in progress.

I am only to post 22 of this thread.. So far I think what Penni said above is very good in response to the starter of this threads concerns or questions..

To Photo nut, If it where just something we could do by making good, smart decisions, and or good judgement calls, none of us would need a lap-ban. Why do people keep eating till they are 550 lbs ???? Why do alcoholics drink till they die ??? Why do drug addicts use there drug till there is nothing left of body mind or spirit???? Why do people gamble themselves and there family into bankruptcy???? Because we are SICK !!! We are addicted to food or swallowing as much as the addicts are addicted to heroin, crack......... whatever. We will do it no matter what, like the addict spending there family food money on drugs............... ......... on the whole it's us compulsive overeaters that really fill up these threads.

Thank you so much for this thread, I think it was great and I hope to hear more. Peace.

Butch

YES aND THIS ONE TOO,.. i love AND AGREE WITH this RESPONSE TOO

My take on all of this:

1. Fat is a SYMPTOM of something else. It may be a biological/genetic/social/physical/mental/emotional/nutritional/exercise problem, or some complicated combination of all or some of those things. FAT is the result of some thing/multiple things being out of whack.

2. The band (with a correct fill level), at best, treats only TWO of the multiple possible causes of obesity:

a) insatiable physical hunger

excess quantity

It does not address the fear of change.

It does not address the physcial addiction some may have to their body's chemical reaction to certain foods.

It does not address the emotional reasons people eat.

It does not address habit.

It does not address convenience.

It does not address poor planning.

It does not address social pressure to eat what everyone else is eating.

It does not address the need/want/desire to "fit in".

I think one of our biggest disservices is the attitude: "If I can do it, anyone can." Sometimes it's meant in a supportive way, sometimes it's meant in a derogatory way. Either way, though, it just is not true. It seems like it should be, but it's not. We are all individuals, and NO one, and I mean NO one can possibly know every single factor in an individual's obesity (or anything else, for that matter - obesity is just the topic of the day.) Even the individual themself rarely knows or understands every contributing factor to their obesity.

There are other boards that are absolutely, positively intolerant of those who make less nutritious choices, however rarely. I know lots of people who are afraid to post on those boards, because they know they will get slammed. Here I think it is a little less intimidating to post that we're still struggling with certain demons. Almost always there are good supportive posts for those people, with hints and ideas on how to "slay the dragon" - for today, at least. Still others support by posting, "Me too. Let me know when you find the answer." Still others scratch their heads in amazement, but are kind enough to not post to that thread with their true feelings, or post tempered with humor. lol

It's cool how different we are, huh? :clap2:

THANK YOU DONALLI, I love your posts. They always make perfect sence!