(I posted this on another thread but decided to start a new one so noone would think it was pointed at them personally.)

I'm sorry but I have finally reached a point, after reading so many posts about disappointments in weight loss, that I have to get some things off my chest. And please, this isn't meant to make anyone in particular feel bad, it's to help me understand why anyone would -want- to stuff themselves with a quarterpounder and large chips (fries) or 3 slices of pizza or tacos and burritos when they have gone thru weight loss surgery to get their cherished lapband?? Why do people have to 'test' their bands by stuffing in as much as they can to see what the limits are?

This isn't just about restricting how much you can manage to cram into yourself. It's about lifestyle changes. It's about eating reasonably and the band is there to HELP you. Not magically change quarter pounders, pizza, tacos and burritos into "health food." Your band WILL NOT MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT. If you do not change how you eat, you will be here a year from now posting similair questions.. if you still have your band.

Think about this. A quarter pounder has 530 calories and 30 grams of fat. A large order of chips (fries) 542 calories and 26 grams of fat. Three slices of pan pizza (I'll even go veggie on this to show my point) has 810 calories and 36 grams of fat. And now, just for interest's sake - three slices of pan supreme pizza has 960 calories and 51 grams of fat.

This is -tough- love coming from a very obese woman who is desperately trying to understand what drives us to ruin our health. What drives us to take such chances? To push the envelope. We all know we'll be upset when we fail, or when we end up with diabetes, or worse.

*sighs* I know you all have the intelligence to make wiser choices. You know youre banded. Don't go out without some emergency food with you if you think youre going to be starving before you can get home. Starkist makes great tuna lunch packs that are great for in the car.

Damnit, why do I always feel so responsible. I just couldn't let this go without shouting to you all... What are you doing to yourselves??? Stop!!

This was written with pure love and a heavy heart. I want ALL of us to be free of this damn weight so we can really live! Wake up and start living people!

Big paul)

I have been reading a lot of posts lately, and not responding out of a bit of frustration. I gat frustrated when I see folks post their daily meals, and everyday... no occasionally, but everyday consists of sugared cereal, tacos, hamburgers, KFC, steaks and baked potatoes with the works, chips, cookies etc. Once again, and I do feel the need to repeat this, I AM NOT AGAINST TREATS, they are fine on an occasional basis... BUT NOT EVERYDAY, FOR EVERY MEAL!!!

Many of the same folks doing this, complain about slow, or no weight loss, duh! You eat too many calories, you do not lose. Simple. The band does not limit CALORIE intake...You need to do that.

Nykee)

I am one who posts logs on my food intake and that intake REEKS of the worst food choices that could ever be made. EVERYDAY TOO.

I complain of slow or lack of weight loss, BUT I NEVER CLAIM to NOT know WHY!

I KNOW I eat too much calories, eat too much crap, eat around the band. I KNOW I need to limit my calorie intake.

I still want the right to POST.. Many appreciate me. MAny dont.

I really hate to think I am causing anyone any real distress.. IF its SO bad, if you see NYKEE, dont read.

I ALMOST feel like quitting, BUt I cant let a few people who dont like my shit, have me feeling like running away. I REFUSE TO. I need this.

I HOPE people KNOW that I am using this site for personal reasons.

I need a place to be HONEST and TRUTHFULL and to be able to spill my guts and be able to come back and read it, and reflect and try to learn something about my self.

I Know I could do this on some private blog or a wordprocessing program. BUT I JUST feel its somehow BETTER and more helpfull to me to do it on a messegeboard.

I use this board to do it about band stuff and another board to do it about the rest of my life.

I know it opens me up to looking like a fool, and a whiner, a total freak...amongst other things, BUT THATS OK, with me.

There is something MIGHTY powerful, IMO, to be able to be 100% honest and do it in front of someone.. even if its strangers I dont really know and I will never know just what they think of me or judge me about..

I DONT need to know about that as much as I care about MY ABILITY to BE honest OUTLOUD in some capacity.

Its very important for me.

I am a fuck up. I wish I could post better things about myself.. BUT one thing about this thing I do, is I focus on the neggatives, in my REAL life everyone knows me for the GOOD and the POSSITIVES and this is my release.

I am not HIDING my neggatives in real life, I just wouldnt dare bring everyone around me into it all, they dont need that shit..

I Guess you guys dont either EXCEPT I exspect its OK cus this is a support website for the lapband thus food related and mental problems with obesity and all that.

MOST IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW ABOUT ME..

I am just being honest.

I am NOT looking for attention or sympathy or people to tend to me or worry about me.

I APPRECIATE the support, advice and communication.. I really do, When I get defensive, iTS ALL ABOUT ME.. I am anxious about my situation NOT AT anyone..

About EVERYONE here is less self absorbed as me and more supportive and has better advice.

I am selfish I guess. I am sorry. I am trying to be a better bandster and a better lapbandtalk.com poster overall.

P.s I appologize for the typos but I dont want to fix them. Sorry

BIgpaul)

But Kim, this is what I am talking about...

Go see a dietician, they might be able to show you how to make delicious (for your taste buds) foods, or a professional chef.

If you are struggling with your food, then maybe a Psychiatrist might help you to get to some of the issues you have with eating.

I'm not talking about stopping anything overnight, I'm talking about getting the help you need. You got the band, right? Then why is everyone so afraid to look at the rest of the picture, that there may be more help you need AFTER the band? Is that so bad? To admit you need help? Rather than just accepting it, FIGHT IT... If it makes you depressed then a professional just might be the way to get past it...

If you went through everything to get the band, why would you give up on yourself now? You can beat it, but it requires help.

Get the help! Get with a PROGRAM, not a diet, not a surgery... a PROGRAM! I know you can do it!

NYKEE)

Your assuming we havent done any of this.. I infact have done it all.. and then some.

AND if you know I can do it... (get with the program) YOUR have been misinformed.

You dont know me and what I have done for the last 20 years. I MAY never get with the program.. I MAY, I never lose hope.

400,000 people a year die NOW of obesity related problems each year... THEY couldnt get with the program, DO YOU think THEY ALL COULd HAVE??

P.s.. My all caps are not yelling.. jsut enphasizing.. I think your a really neat person who only has the best intentions and a really big heart.

Heather girl)

I myself have stopped reading the daily posts of people that aren't losing weight and what they are eating. Gimme a break, some of the stuff these people are eating just completely shocks me. And then they bitch about not losing weight???

Nykee)

See my above post..

And I AM losing weight. BTW in case you didnt know.

And some of the logs people have here, seriously SHOCK me.. I cant see how SO MANY can follow such perfect diets.. I MEAN if they were able to do so, WHY oh WHY did they get the band to begin with.???

And some of the logs people have here, seriously SHOCK me.. I cant see how SO MANY can follow such perfect diets.. I MEAN if they were able to do so, WHY oh WHY did they get the band to begin with.???

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Nykee,

For many people, getting the band was the thing they needed to be able to follow diets like the some of the logs you see. They couldn't do it without the band because they were always hungry. I don't follow the best bandster diet, but I sure eat alot less than I used to because of the band, and I am not constantly hungry. I've been stuck in my loss for a while now, but I'm not gaining, and it's a big blessing for me just to have that.

:couch2:

PHOTNUT)

I know that thin people eat snacks. I know that it is unreasonable to think that I will never eat another hamburger in my life. I was asking why we push the band to such extremes and eat way beyond the recommended allowances thereby making ourselves sick or risk ruining our bands, because frankly.. it astounds me that this thing we call our food demon could have such a grip on us that we would go to such lengths to ruin something that might just finally help us get past this.

Nykee)

I dont push my band to extremes. I do not abuse my band. I dont PB, I dont eat past the point where it causing problems for my band.

Incase you didnt know that about ME personally.

I do however eat beyond the reccomended allowances and eat all the wrong foods. BUT THAT IS COMPLETELY different than eating things or eating to the point where you abuse the band... have pains and PB and all that stuff..

PHOTONUT)

Those of you who felt it was too harsh, judgemental, hypocritical, uncaring, unsupportive, pious, or otherwise hurtful, this thread was not intended for you. You may go back to your soft hugs and eat however you like. One suggestion though, the next time you want to share about the 2,000 calorie meal you just ate, start your post with - Dont really want to make a change, just want sympathy.

At least I tried.

Nykee)

Nothing you said untill the post above offended me at all.

I share my 2000 to 3000 calorie meals... and if you meant me: (cuz I dont see many others at all)

YOU MISSED the fact that I ABSOLUTELY DO WANT TO MAKE A CHANGE AND I ABSOLUTELy DO NOT WANT SYMPATHY AND IMO, you cant TRY anything with misinformation or wrong judgements.

And lastly.. phew (I wish I was following along the whole time)

I want to post how I ate prebanding..

ANd Hope it shows, that although my food logs are terrible..

ITs alot better than before.. and whenever I LOOK AT MY PAST HABITS.. It really hits hard that I made amazing changes.

I STILL NEED TO MAKE MORE>> I KNOW THAT

PREBANDING HABITS FOR THE LAST DECADE:

I HAD to have fast food daily, many times more than once..

I would feel all uptight and maybe three days a month I couldnt get something..

If I couldnt get my little cheeseburger or rodeo burger, KFC snacker's, cheese curds, taco's, nachos, Chicken sands, onion rings, corn dogs, burettos, TOO MUCH TO LIST. (one thing, not all things each day, lol)

Fries with 4pack MAYO, 1 mustard and 4 Ketsup.. I would cry if the mustard was absent.ect... If the fries were cold I would cry.. I would blame others, I would be a bitch to everyone.

I would buy many items to keep in the house to heat up.

Breakfast egg Muffins, hershey pies, cheeseburgers.

I would throw food across the room if I didnt get what I wanted, I begged people to make runs to get me these fast foods. I was so picky and everything had to be exactly how I wanted or I felt abused or hurt.

I HAD TO DRINK ALL DAY LONG. and night(not alcohal)

I had a rootbeer float or a coffee drink or a smoothie everyday, minus maybe 4 times a month. Sometimes 2 or 3. I had to have one or feel sad.

I could drink 1 to 5 slurpies a day in the summer. I to 5 a week in the winter. I have drank 10 slurpees in a day a few times.

I drank a gallon of milk and/ or juice per day. EVERY DAY, sometimes more.

There had to be milk in the house at all times and everyone made sure of it, daily ritual. It came before toilet paper if need be..

If I was out of juice and no one would get me some I would cry and feel extreme anxiety.

I would gulp it like a maniac with tons of ice in order to feel alive.

I am still addicted to juice and milk to this day.

GOING OUT TO EAT MORE THAN THE RICH FOLK DO!

I went out to china, resturants, KFC, buffets, about 4 times a month. THATS ONCE A WEEK.

I always took someone with me. I would take one kid or one friend at a time, so I benifited going each and every time.

I would spent bill money on it unable to resist. I did this all the time..

I spent money we couldnt afford on pizza and delivery of China food ALL the time. Pizza was in the house NO less than once a week.

I would seriously be holding the money, knowing i cant afford it, it was a HUGE mistake and the food was just too tempting. Utilites were shut off, lanlords didnt get paid..

Groceries in the house

The house food I ate was corndogs, nachos, frozen foods galore, quiche, candy, chips and cookies, crap cerial, cheese, lunch meat, hotdogs, bagels and cream cheese..

We made a simple meal once a month on average.

Then it was a frozen lasangue or spegetti or chilli or parm pasta with shrimp, a salad from a bag and a premade french bread roll.

I HATE POSTING THIS..

THIS was my life THE DAY before banding.

So, I cant help but feel alot better, about my food logs.

But I know I need to move further..

THANK YOU FOR LISTNing.

I am reposting this on my food log..

Nykee, you are NOT a f-up! It took a lot of of guts for you to open up to everyone and tell the straight-up truth. Good for you, I admire your honesty.

But did you have to mention KFC? DOH, been craving some!

Nykee,

For many people, getting the band was the thing they needed to be able to follow diets like the some of the logs you see. They couldn't do it without the band because they were always hungry. I don't follow the best bandster diet, but I sure eat alot less than I used to because of the band, and I am not constantly hungry. I've been stuck in my loss for a while now, but I'm not gaining, and it's a big blessing for me just to have that.

>>>>>>>>>>OH I KNOW I KNOW>. I was trying to make a point, I didnt mean to look like I didnt understand ATALL.

It still shocks me sometimes.. Just the sheer number of perfect food logs.. I am sure its alot of jealousy though.. lol

If I had had any control AT ALL, I dont think I would of got the band but thats only cuz I really could not afford it AT ALL.. So, yeah (JEALOUSY)

I TRY to take comfort in not gaining as well.. I mean before I YO YO'd and ALWAYS gained back.,... SO Actually NOT gaining is a really BIG deal to be proud of!

DELARLA, THANK YOU.. I Sooooo appreciate you for being so honest as well. Your are also a queen of editing like I am.. lol

May I suggest everyone mosey on over to the "Why are YOU Fat?" thread? When I was banded, I didn't understand why it was so easy for some people to follow the rules while my mind was going insane trying to control myself.

Even though I was aware that I could slip my band or hurt myself, there were occasions that I'd eat till I was in terrible pain. I KNEW what I was doing but I couldn't stop myself. So I started a thread to find out where everyone was coming from. I just assumed everyone was like me, but we're all different. The actual feeling of "HUNGER" never mattered to me because I ate myself into drug-induced bliss regardless of what my stomach said. I never experienced what hunger felt like pre-band because I was always full.

The band is an amazing tool as far as stopping hunger. My meals used to keep me full for hours, but it was sheer willpower (and restriction) keeping me from shoving more food in.

DONALI, Nykee edits! Get her!

And some of the logs people have here, seriously SHOCK me.. I cant see how SO MANY can follow such perfect diets.. I MEAN if they were able to do so, WHY oh WHY did they get the band to begin with.???

My Dr. told me the band was a tool. He said that I would lose 50% of my weight with the band alone and I had to do the rest. That is why I personally am following such a strict diet. I want to lose 100% of my weight.

The band prevents me from bingeing (sp?) like I did pre-band.

I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong, but I don't know of anyone that can lost 100% of their weight with just the band and not eating properly!

Nykee, I personally love your posts, because I can relate to the addictions you have to food, the sadness when it is cold, I once wanted to stab a delivery man with the plastic knife because my onion rings were soggy because he couldn't find my apartment. Like you, I have made a lot of changes post band compared to what I was like before. I ate out 3 meals a day and if I didn't have Mexican food 3 times a week I got upset. I do so much better now, but have so much farther to go. I need to start posting my food intake on here and see how it stacks up to others like me.

By the way where do you find this Hershey Pie you speak of?? Ok, that was bad, don't tell me I probably couldn't resist.

Heather girl)

I myself have stopped reading the daily posts of people that aren't losing weight and what they are eating. Gimme a break, some of the stuff these people are eating just completely shocks me. And then they bitch about not losing weight???

Nykee)

See my above post..

And I AM losing weight. BTW in case you didnt know.

And some of the logs people have here, seriously SHOCK me.. I cant see how SO MANY can follow such perfect diets.. I MEAN if they were able to do so, WHY oh WHY did they get the band to begin with.???

I do not recall in my post saying or quoting your name. I have no clue what you eat, you aren't a member that I keep up with (sorry). Too bad you took my post so personally. It certainly didn't have your name on it. I didn't mean for you to think I was talking about you. I was talking about members in general that bitch about not losing weight while eating crap. Do you do that? If not, then I guess I wasn't talking about you.

HEY KIMI.. you made me realilze that I havent had a Hershey pie in months and months and months.. AND IT CAN GO DOWN SO EASILY.

Its like fluffy cream cheese, cool whip and creamy chocolate,

So,,, yeah,.. WATCH it show up in my food log soon.. lol

(its at BK.. BUT DONT GOOOOO!!!!)

HeThergirl)

My Dr. told me the band was a tool. He said that I would lose 50% of my weight with the band alone and I had to do the rest. That is why I personally am following such a strict diet. I want to lose 100% of my weight.

GIrl)

I want to too.. I personaly dont understand how you are able to be on such a strict diet just becsue your doctor told you it was a tool, and you had to do the rest.

I AM SURE GLAD you CAN! I am proud of you and congratualte you in all sincerity..

BUT I um didnt do it for my children, I didnt do it to save my life.. and well its no BIG shock to me that I am not doing it CUZ I got the band.

Heathergirl)

I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong, but I don't know of anyone that can lost 100% of their weight with just the band and not eating properly!

me)

I SURE dont agree with that.. I DONT THINK ANYONE CAN.. I DONT think I CAN... I KNOW I have to eat better. I HAVE KNOWN that LONG before I got the band.

BUt since when was loosing weight be it 10% or 100% something that could motivate ME?<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

Heather, yes I do that.. kinda.. and I did include in all my posts to people this was incase they were talking about me.. and even if they werent talking about me inparticuarily.. it still fits me.. and few others.. (THAT I notice)

I know that everyone knows this...

You have to make up what you want to do and what you want out of your life. The decision to change is up to you and you alone. No matter how much bitching or support or whatever we get from others, you have to make up your mind to do it!

That is what I tell myself every morning.