(I posted this on another thread but decided to start a new one so noone would think it was pointed at them personally.)

I'm sorry but I have finally reached a point, after reading so many posts about disappointments in weight loss, that I have to get some things off my chest. And please, this isn't meant to make anyone in particular feel bad, it's to help me understand why anyone would -want- to stuff themselves with a quarterpounder and large chips (fries) or 3 slices of pizza or tacos and burritos when they have gone thru weight loss surgery to get their cherished lapband?? Why do people have to 'test' their bands by stuffing in as much as they can to see what the limits are?

This isn't just about restricting how much you can manage to cram into yourself. It's about lifestyle changes. It's about eating reasonably and the band is there to HELP you. Not magically change quarter pounders, pizza, tacos and burritos into "health food." Your band WILL NOT MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT. If you do not change how you eat, you will be here a year from now posting similair questions.. if you still have your band.

Think about this. A quarter pounder has 530 calories and 30 grams of fat. A large order of chips (fries) 542 calories and 26 grams of fat. Three slices of pan pizza (I'll even go veggie on this to show my point) has 810 calories and 36 grams of fat. And now, just for interest's sake - three slices of pan supreme pizza has 960 calories and 51 grams of fat.

This is -tough- love coming from a very obese woman who is desperately trying to understand what drives us to ruin our health. What drives us to take such chances? To push the envelope. We all know we'll be upset when we fail, or when we end up with diabetes, or worse.

*sighs* I know you all have the intelligence to make wiser choices. You know youre banded. Don't go out without some emergency food with you if you think youre going to be starving before you can get home. Starkist makes great tuna lunch packs that are great for in the car.

Damnit, why do I always feel so responsible. I just couldn't let this go without shouting to you all... What are you doing to yourselves??? Stop!!

This was written with pure love and a heavy heart. I want ALL of us to be free of this damn weight so we can really live! Wake up and start living people!

It was me that ate the cheeseburger. It was one of those situations where the kids were starving, Doug and I were starving, it was dinner time and we still had a 2 hour drive ahead of us to get home. I think I made a better choice than a quarterpounder, large fries and a coke. I aimed to do the least damage calorie wise as I could. I ate yogurt for Breakfast and a salad for lunch that day and that was all. I think a cheeseburger and fries as a once in say 3 months thing is not a problem at all.

I just ate a chocolate biscuit too! But I only ate one. That is a huge victory, not a failure.

Boy I'm getting a little tired of how personal people are taking things around here....haven't we got better things to spend our time and energy on?

It was me that ate the cheeseburger.

I think a cheeseburger and fries as a once in say 3 months thing is not a problem at all.

I just ate a chocolate biscuit too! But I only ate one. That is a huge victory, not a failure.

*chuckles* I wasn't looking at names, it was meant to be generic examples you goober. *hugs*

And someday I hope I reach a point where I can handle a splurge, right now I fear it.. not only because of the PBs but because of this endless fight against the addiction I have.

I know what you mean about the victory! I stuffed a big ole spanish olive in my mouth today AS I was preparing my tuna lunch. As I was chewing it, I realized this was just a habit of mine - grazing while doing food prep. I spit out the chewed up thing, not because I'm a "perfect bandster" but because I realized I didn't even want it and I was falling for the same old decietful crap that got me fat in the first place.

I know at times I am my own worse enemy.

I know at times I am my own worse enemy.

Human nature is a horrible thing. Not only do we have the ability to be horribly mean to others, we particularly skilled at being mean to ourselves.

I can destroy the smallest victory I have in a heartbeat. I think my best today was:

"Cool, I've lost four inches in my waist!" followed two seconds later by my wonderful brain saying "great, now your just a really fat bastard, instead of an obese fat bastard".

The cry is often "When will we ever learn to get along?". Probably about the same time we learn to get along with ourselves.

Oh, and probably shortly after we learn to govern our mouth (or in this case, fingers) so that whatever spews out of our brain doesn't immediately splatter onto everyone's screen.

My, that was a right purty way of putting that, even if I do say so myself.

Oh, and probably shortly after we learn to govern our mouth (or in this case, fingers) so that whatever spews out of our brain doesn't immediately splatter onto everyone's screen.

Like he said, Human nature is a horrible thing and since we are all humans (with perhaps a couple of exceptions *snickers*) I guess this might take a while to achieve. So....

*passes out glass cleaner and paper towels to everyone*

Boy, everyday I am reminded why I love to run to my computer to pull up LBT every chance I get. It is so nice to know that others share my feelings & fears about the band and eating.

I am pre-band, but this thread is part of a real fear for me b/c I ask myself how I'm going to change those bad habits. As recent as last year, I learned that bad habits are never broken, they are just replaced with new ones. I practiced this concept for a period of time and then fell back into my old ways. The band is not going to change my bad habits.....I have to do that. I know that I can, but it won't happen overnight.

I am convinced that it is a process that is very unique for each individual. That is why opinions vary so greatly on such topics and that is a GREAT thing. We can all learn from listening and really hearing what someone else is saying. We don't have to agree, but there is something to be learned.

For example, I know that I will have chocolate after the band. I am a person that will REBEL if someone tells me that I can't have something (within reason of course). Now what does that mean to me personally? I have found that sucking a ONE hersey kiss a week will satisfy my need for chocolate. I know I can live with that. For some people, that is a deal breaker and puts them over the edge. We are each very unique and we should always embrace that....which I think that is something that makes this a great site. You find all types of people from all walks of life brought together by a beautiful thing called a "lapband". :clap2:

Now.....if I can just put some of these things into action, I'll be set to be a happy healthy mommy in a size 10!! :nervous

It was me that ate the cheeseburger. It was one of those situations where the kids were starving, Doug and I were starving, it was dinner time and we still had a 2 hour drive ahead of us to get home. I think I made a better choice than a quarterpounder, large fries and a coke. I aimed to do the least damage calorie wise as I could. I ate yogurt for Breakfast and a salad for lunch that day and that was all. I think a cheeseburger and fries as a once in say 3 months thing is not a problem at all.

I just ate a chocolate biscuit too! But I only ate one. That is a huge victory, not a failure.

Jacqui......well i was the one who ate the 3 slices of pizza.....and before my band i wouldv eaten a whole pizza.....so to me this is good.....

and other ppl have to realise that i dont eat this everyday .......i actually hardly eat through the day at all.....and when i do have something some person has to start this thread up.

seriously i dont understand and like i have already said PHOTONUT you are only a month out i never ate pizza on a month afetr surgery. I wasnt hungry but it will happen at some stage.

Jacqui you are doing great with your weight loss...keep up the great work:clap2:

I was great at the start too, 10 mths out I feel myself eating too much of things That I shouldnt. I KNOW thats why my weight loss is slow, I know if I exercised it would come off quicker but do I do it...NO I am too lazy or tired or busy or whatever the excuse is for that day.

I know when I was first banded I would see posts about people eating this and that and I thought I cant imagine eating like that again...then the fill wore off and I could eat like that again and I did. Until I had good restriction I didnt feel anything stopping me from eating those things, not even myself. I take the blame and full resposibility.

Beofre this op we would have take away 2 or 3 times a week, now we have it 2 times a month. We had ice creams and desserts nearly every night...not anymore. I think I have made major changes since banding but I still have a long way to go.

Perhaps my problem here is that I was expecting the same attitude from others who have chosen WLS.

:pound: Saying this kindly, it is a no-win situation if you expect everyone to have the same attitude that you have. Obviously. :eek:

Photo, my approach to WLS was that I wanted a tool to help me get control of my weight for the rest of my life. This is, to me, in direct opposition to the idea of doing it overnight. Yes, habits and behaviors would have to change, but if it were easy to change habits I wouldn't have needed WLR. It's one of the primary reasons I chose the band--the time it would give me to help get used to my new reality. The other is that it would keep me honest through the really hard times...long after the excitement and novelty have worn off.

Through the first fill I was eating almost normally, which helped me get through the first set of holidays feeling like a normal person. It wasn't until after the second fill, almost 6 months after surgery, that the band started doing its work in me in earnest. And I'd lost about 40 lbs already by that point, so no complaints.

The band isn't the same as RNY, and that's the beauty of it. We can take the time we need to really assimilate the changes we need to make, and choose those we can really live with. Personally, as I've said before, a world without ice cream is not a world in which I want to live. And thankfully, I don't have to!

Everyone has different demons and different goals. The only commonality on LBT is that in one way or another everyone here has a relationship with a band. And we're ALL eating less than we were before we got here. :whoo: :rockon:

i have to be honest here... before the band (and in my mind now) i had a serious problem with food. i ate too much. i ate the wrong things often enough to have a serious effect on me, etc. i know me, i know how i think, and i knew before i got the band that i would not be able to restrict myself to a certain set of foods, or to eliminate whole categories or all my favorite sins (foods we all know are crap, but you know, they are soooo good going in).

i am one of those bandsters that is going through my daily routine and eating similar foods as to what i ate before the band, just not in the same AMOUNT as before. not even close. it is a ridiculous reduction from before, so much so, that when i have gone out to dinner/lunch with friends, i feel like i'm not getting my money's worth, not even CLOSE and it pisses me off that I'm paying $15 for a lunch that i'll eat maybe $2.00 of...

i didn't eat the "bad" foods everyday before the band, but if/when i did, i certainly ate too much. (and i don't say that any food is truly bad, but we all know what that means for us.) now this doesn't go without saying that there are a handful of foods that have given me trouble (stuckage, pressure, serious discomfort). however, i am working the band and it's working me in that i have had such a measured reduction in the amount of food going into my mouth/stomache, this is really working. i know i will and have had my ups and downs. we all will. i just know that i want most of my days to be ups, i don't want to obsess completely about food anymore (like i did before the band), i want to be happy, less of me, and feel good about me both physically and mentally.

here's hoping we can all find our own ways to do this... work the band and help the band work us. i know i'm not perfect, and i respect that about me. i know no one else is either, and i respect that about you. whatever works for each of us, as long as it's WORKING is a-ok by me! :eek: here's to all of us doing our best, day by day, with our trusty band and ourselves.

angie :grouphug:

I don't forgive myself for being overweight. I made my choices and I knew the consequences as I made them. Now I want to make other choices because to me it is a big deal. It is my life. I won't be forgiving and easy on myself if I slip up. I don't have time to pamper myself along anymore.

Ditto.

Although I do pamper myself, just not with food. Replace bad habits with good habits. Replace a quarter pounder with a facial. Replace a Hersey bar with getting your nails done or your eyebrows waxed. Replace eating that bowl of ice cream with a Protein bar (The Southbeach bars are so damn good...)

This is my issue. This is my body. I did this, no one else. I am not diseased. I am simply unable to eat anything I want.

And that's okay.

It's my responsibility. Not the band, not my parents, not my friends.

and your only a month out.....lets see when you feel like some pizza or mcdonalds

i say give u a few weeks

Oh now that's supportive, yay!

:eek:

I'm nearly six months out. I haven't eaten any fast food. I tried pizza - twice. It no longer holds any attraction for me, at least not to the extent that it used to.

Tough love, babes - tough love.

Rather than reacting maliciously as the quoted post, why not try reacting with the compassion you expect to get when *you* *do* screw up?

Have I eaten things that I shouldn't have? Yes. And I pay the price for it each and every time - either on the scale or in pain.

The fact is, you either work WITH the band, or you work against it.

I'm nearly six months out. I haven't eaten any fast food. I tried pizza - twice. It no longer holds any attraction for me, at least not to the extent that it used to.

...

Have I eaten things that I shouldn't have? Yes. And I pay the price for it each and every time - either on the scale or in pain.

The fact is, you either work WITH the band, or you work against it.

There are people for whom pizza does hold attraction post-banding; surgery doesn't magically make that go away. And for many of us, eating "badly" doesn't always mean paying a price we are unwilling to pay, so why not do it from time to time? That's where I am, and happy to be here. :biggrin1:

Working with the band doesn't necessarily mean forcing yourself to give up everything you love and live a life of deprivation and denial. It's about learning, and I think we can all agree that takes time.

EVERYONE STOP>>>:eek:

OK, now Breathe...

Better?

I think this discussion has been misinterpreted. Let's start with the fact that it is not personal, geez, I wish we'd all be adult enough to realize that nothing in this discussion is an attack on another. Stop thinking it is, and if you can't stop... move on to another thread. OK?:grouphug:

Now. What is the point here? It is that many folks, despite all the work and finance associated with getting a band, continue to work against it, and fight it. No this is not the same thing as a person having an occasional treat, treats are fine if they are occasional. Period. This is about the folks who are constantly looking for ways to "eat around" the band... grazing is one good example, eating too much and getting sick is another, etc.

The band is part of a process of weight loss, it is not magic, it is not malabsorptive, it is a tool to help limit the VOLUME of food intake... no the quality of food, or the type of food... simply the VOLUME.

I have been reading a lot of posts lately, and not responding out of a bit of frustration. I gat frustrated when I see folks post their daily meals, and everyday... no occasionally, but everyday consists of sugared Cereal, tacos, hamburgers, KFC, steaks and baked potatoes with the works, chips, Cookies etc. Once again, and I do feel the need to repeat this, I AM NOT AGAINST TREATS, they are fine on an occasional basis... BUT NOT EVERYDAY, FOR EVERY MEAL!!!

Many of the same folks doing this, complain about slow, or no weight loss, duh! You eat too many calories, you do not lose. Simple. The band does not limit CALORIE intake...You need to do that.

Back on the thread about the eroded bandsters, you know the one where folks got pissed at the doctors and all... I mentioned how the band is part of a program. I am not going to rehash that here, go on back and read it, but I think part of my point is really valid here:

Kare mentioned in her well-written rebuttal to my statement that not everyone needs their band "program", and that some folks have the experience to just need the tool... I disagree. I see many folks on this thread backing up the point I am about to make... they say that they have trouble breaking old habits, it is hard to change, they aren';t able to make good choices all the time... hmmm... this sounds to me like this person may benefit from some counseling. Yes, counseling, not necessaryily a shrink, but maybe a nutritionist, who will help them tio make better choices on the road, and exercise guy to help them find more fun ways to melt off the pounds, or yes, maybe that shrink. I see the poeple here saying, gee, I started off good, but got off the bandwagon, I haven't lost in a long time... that is because you are only looking at the band as part of a diet... it needs to be a part of your program, and yes to all the naysayers, a PROGRAM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. It is not the same as any other diet you've ever been on... this is completely different, and past experience in dieting is not enough... if it was, you would not have needed the band.

I'm personally disturbed by the number of people on this board, and boards like it, that get this procedure, and don't know what to do next... what do I eat, when do I get fills, etc. Do not get the band until you have ALL the information on what to do before, during and after. It is OK to look for support and ideas on a board like this, but you should not be on here because you have no idea what is next, AFTER you got the surgery.

Sorry to go on and on.

I hope no one took anything personal, it was not meant to be so.

This is a LIFE change. Stop looking at it as a temporary thing. Get rid of the old diet mentality that when you reach goal, you can go back to "eating normally". Make a complete change, and if you cannot do it yourself, get help... real help... talk to a professional or professionals. That is how we all can succeed.

If anyone is pissed about my statements, I will recuse myself from further postings.

Much ablidged.

Paul