(I posted this on another thread but decided to start a new one so noone would think it was pointed at them personally.)

I'm sorry but I have finally reached a point, after reading so many posts about disappointments in weight loss, that I have to get some things off my chest. And please, this isn't meant to make anyone in particular feel bad, it's to help me understand why anyone would -want- to stuff themselves with a quarterpounder and large chips (fries) or 3 slices of pizza or tacos and burritos when they have gone thru weight loss surgery to get their cherished lapband?? Why do people have to 'test' their bands by stuffing in as much as they can to see what the limits are?

This isn't just about restricting how much you can manage to cram into yourself. It's about lifestyle changes. It's about eating reasonably and the band is there to HELP you. Not magically change quarter pounders, pizza, tacos and burritos into "health food." Your band WILL NOT MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT. If you do not change how you eat, you will be here a year from now posting similair questions.. if you still have your band.

Think about this. A quarter pounder has 530 calories and 30 grams of fat. A large order of chips (fries) 542 calories and 26 grams of fat. Three slices of pan pizza (I'll even go veggie on this to show my point) has 810 calories and 36 grams of fat. And now, just for interest's sake - three slices of pan supreme pizza has 960 calories and 51 grams of fat.

This is -tough- love coming from a very obese woman who is desperately trying to understand what drives us to ruin our health. What drives us to take such chances? To push the envelope. We all know we'll be upset when we fail, or when we end up with diabetes, or worse.

*sighs* I know you all have the intelligence to make wiser choices. You know youre banded. Don't go out without some emergency food with you if you think youre going to be starving before you can get home. Starkist makes great tuna lunch packs that are great for in the car.

Damnit, why do I always feel so responsible. I just couldn't let this go without shouting to you all... What are you doing to yourselves??? Stop!!

This was written with pure love and a heavy heart. I want ALL of us to be free of this damn weight so we can really live! Wake up and start living people!

Fine the MIL brings Cookies. Look at your family and tell them Grandma is trying to kill us with kindness and then throw it in the trash. If it's not good for you, why is it good for someone else? LOL

(I'm kidding about the Grandma is trying to kill us bit)

thank you, i almost droped my baby cracking up.

dang thing is, i might try that next weekend just get my point across.

so are you all saying that since you have been banded that u HAVENT had anything thats not healthy??

im sure most ppl would of

its more a head issue thing

That's correct. Although Ive only been banded for a month now. heh

But again, this isnt the point. I see people who come here and talk about eating out everyday. They are disappointed because they aren't losing weight or they are miserable because they are PBing every bite they take. But they aren't stopping to think about what they are putting into their mouths. I am astonished that AFTER SURGERY people are still forcing themselves to eat food that will sabotage all of the efforts they put into getting banded and they are risking tearing their stomachs or harming their esophogus (I really should learn how to spell that).

I'm not talking about a once in a while thing. Im talking about gross negligence against our own bodies.

(made up example) People ask - do I need a fill? I can eat a whole large pizza by myself. Should I be able to do that?

My question is - Why do you know you can eat a whole large pizza by yourself??? Why are you even trying that???

*sighs* Maybe it's jut me who gets so astounded by this. And of course I sit here and think.. Will I do this too?? Was the $26,000 I just invested a waste of money because some day I'll just stop caring and go out and eat a large Quarter Pounder meal?

And people, cheese burgers over Quarter Pounders is nothing to be excited about. They are both loaded with fat and carbs that are going to keep you from succeeding.

Im sure this is just my fears. Someone *fwap* me.

Its funny you say that... My MIL just sent us a 5lb tin of butter Cookies

:heh: I am re-gifting them to my sons class tomorrow.

I'm all up for a bit of controversy.

Most of our children are overweight, rather than contributing to their future obesity, why don't you re-gift them to the garbage can?

It's kind of like the concept of buying a large meal and eating it all 'because it would be a shame to let it go to waste'

so are you all saying that since you have been banded that u HAVENT had anything thats not healthy??

im sure most ppl would of

its more a head issue thing

oh no,no,no,no,

i do everyday in the morning. i have coffee with cream (hazelnut) and sugar. iwill not drink it black anymore (pre banding issue).

and not to long ago i had a lot on my mind and really wanted chocolate and or penut butter. so i got a hershy bar and a jar of penut butter and sat down with a large glass of milk. and i enjoyed every bite.

Fine the MIL brings Cookies. Look at your family and tell them Grandma is trying to kill us with kindness and then throw it in the trash. If it's not good for you, why is it good for someone else? LOL

I supply myself with my own drugs of choice (Cheese and coffee are two off the top of my head). Butter cookies are not my thing, nor that of my family.

But I *know* that my DS's teacher will allow the children who can have cookies (and this year I know all the parents in DS's class) one cookie or so a week. It is a flipping treat. I am not trying to kill the children. Nor was my MIL. We simply do not LIKE the cookies she sent. They are really not all that bad, as cookies go.

But yeah, not good enough for me, so I pass them on....

And yes, Fee, I have eaten plenty that has not been all that healthy. Plenty. Being a bandster is not about perfection. It is about being healthy. And even un healthy stuff can be part of a balanced diet.

hey PHOTONUT: I think they are doing this (my best guess and personal experience) because we haven't relearned how to eat yet. We still have the old habits. We didn't learn these habits overnight and we certainly won't unlearn them overnight. Unless you are a fast learner you will continue to eat the same way you did before banding after banding. You just will.

I was a good bandster for the first 8 to 12 months then something snapped and I wanted to try a burger. I fooled myself into thinking that the meat was the healthiest part so I didn't eat the bun. Red meat has the highest fat content of all the meats. It isn't even about the cheese either. Just the meat is bad. LOL!!

So it is all about educating ourselves about what we put into our mouths and stomachs. How many calories, fat, carbs, sodium, protein, etc! Until we all learn that lesson people will continue to test the waters so to speak. SIGH!! Sad but true.

I am re-educating myself on all this right now. And I am a work in progress.

I'm all up for a bit of controversy.

Most of our children are overweight, rather than contributing to their future obesity, why don't you re-gift them to the garbage can?

It's kind of like the concept of buying a large meal and eating it all 'because it would be a shame to let it go to waste'

Fine. Whatever. Kids need treats, in moderation. The teacher will moderate HOW many the kids will have. I cannot see how a tin of Cookies is any different to the birthday cakes parents bring in? Or are you all down on that too?

And for the record. My DS is 145cm tall and 30kg. Not overweight, obese, or anything of the like.

(made up example) People ask - do I need a fill? I can eat a whole large pizza by myself. Should I be able to do that?

My question is - Why do you know you can eat a whole large pizza by yourself??? Why are you even trying that???

.

I love it. such a true and honest question.

I supply myself with my own drugs of choice (Cheese and coffee are two off the top of my head). Butter Cookies are not my thing, nor that of my family.

But I *know* that my DS's teacher will allow the children who can have cookies (and this year I know all the parents in DS's class) one cookie or so a week. It is a flipping treat. I am not trying to kill the children. Nor was my MIL. We simply do not LIKE the cookies she sent. They are really not all that bad, as cookies go.

But yeah, not good enough for me, so I pass them on....

Ah Sammee.. *wipes her eyes* this made me laugh so hard. I'm sorry.

The bit about the MIL trying to kill the kids (laughing so hard I can hardly type) was a joke. *big hugs*

Im sorry you got crappy cookies. Feel free to pass them on to the kids.

*huge grin*

I am not trying to kill the children. Nor was my MIL.

"Best Gollum Voice"

MUUUUUUUURDERER!!

"Best Gollum Voice"

MUUUUUUUURDERER!!

yep. Thats me. I am a murderer because I am teaching my child to have a balanced diet. Teaching him that treats CAN be a part of said healthy diet.

People who deny themselves treats and such, long term do not lose all their weight and keep it off?

Why? Deny yourself things you want for too long, and you will get sick of, and resent the "healthy" lifestyle, and throw in the towel.

If having a coffee, and a chocolate once in a while make me a "bad bandster" and a bad human, so be it.

Sammee - Please, some of this was tongue in cheek. We never meant you were being anything less than a caring parent, nor did we mean to imply that you are harming your family or their friends. Please, don't be angry. We were more bashing on the foods that get us all, not on you. *hugs*

To Photo nut, If it where just something we could do by making good, smart decisions, and or good judgement calls, none of us would need a lap-ban. Why do people keep eating till they are 550 lbs ???? Why do alcoholics drink till they die ??? Why do drug addicts use there drug till there is nothing left of body mind or spirit???? Why do people gamble themselves and there family into bankruptcy???? Because we are SICK !!! We are addicted to food or swallowing as much as the addicts are addicted to heroin, crack......... whatever. We will do it no matter what, like the addict spending there family food money on drugs. My sister who had a lap-ban installed last year went into a deep depression and finely into a nervous break down because she could not eat anymore. It was not the being fat, it was the act of eating & swollowing large amounts of food that she craved, the fat is a side effect of the pleasure we seek. The act of eating is how we cope with life and all it's ups and downs, it's how we deal with our joy's and our sorrow's. We devoeloped this habit by not dealing with our feelings and emosions and wanting to hide them, so we eat, and eat, and eat, till we feel better and fill that hole in our soul.

I have been dealing with my 500 + lbs for years, and have lost over 1500 lbs in the last 20 years and have learned the hard way it's an inside job. As you said (Photo Nut) that the Ban is only a tool, and a way to help us not over eat. It's not the answer, we have to find some kind of help for the fact we are on a death mission, and don't feel we deserve to be happy. It's taken me a long time to get this far (I am 53 today) and I am not there yet. I still overeat (as much as the band will allow me to) and I need a fill and I balk at getting it, I have been 350 + lbs for 3 years now and am losing so slow it drives me crazy. I want to be normal so bad I can taste it, but...... do I go get a fill???? Noooooo, I wait, and wait because I still want to be able to eat a full meal at diner, and eat a full sandwich. I know I have a ways to go, but I am on the right track and I am not fooling myself that this is the magic cure. I'm an enlightened FAT person, and I know how I got here and what I use my eating for. I know some people have a gland problems, and that kind of stuff, but......... on the whole it's us compulsive overeaters that really fill up these threads.

Thank you so much for this thread, I think it was great and I hope to hear more. Peace.

Butch

yep. Thats me. I am a murderer because I am teaching my child to have a balanced diet. Teaching him that treats CAN be a part of said healthy diet.

People who deny themselves treats and such, long term do not lose all their weight and keep it off?

Why? Deny yourself things you want for too long, and you will get sick of, and resent the "healthy" lifestyle, and throw in the towel.

If having a coffee, and a chocolate once in a while make me a "bad bandster" and a bad human, so be it.

Despite (obviously) the massive amount of humor I put into my comment (I rarely claim to speak like Gollum when serious) I do actually have one thing I'd like to take to task here.

People who deny themselves treats and such, long term do not lose all their weight and keep it off?

That's a extremely broad and sweeping statement. It's also likely incorrect.

I don't intend to allow myself 'treats' because allowing myself 'treats' got me where I am today.

From my mother allowing me to buy 3 pieces of candy on a Saturday, to McDonald's for supper.

The bottom line is, I've had to accept taste has nothing to do with nutrition. I am deliberately eating foods I have always 'not liked' because they are good for me, and I have a responsibility to eat right.

The 'treat' is pandering to my mind, and my mind apparantly has no frickin clue what my body needs.

So, in a year or two, if I am at my goal weight, and I continue to not allow myself treats, I shall expect you to retract this.

And I'll remind ya

Butch - You made me cry because you are so right. You touched the core of my fear my friend.

*big hugs*