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I still see myself as obese wearing a 36 inch waiste and an XL shirt



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Ok do i need to see a shrink. I have lost 82 pounds and I feel great. People tell me I look great. I can fit in xl shirts and 36 inch waiste pants. Why is it when I look in the mirror I see the same fat guy I was before? I know I look different but for some reason when I see myself I appear the same... What gives? Do I need counseling? Also I am worried about the transfer of addiction I here about. I have not found my new addiction. I do find myself longing for something. I dont know what it is but I have a feeling like something is missing. Am I alone on this? Please my fellow bandsters if anyone is going to understand it will be you all. please give me your thoughts...

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It takes a long time for the brain to catch up with the body. After 3 years, I still feel like that fat broad! You've done great...just keep remembering that!

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I have the opposite problem. When I look in the mirror I see a stud. Then someone shows me a photo of myself and I see fat ass.

I wouldn't think you would need counseling though. Probably just not used to your new body. BUT, I haven't even been banded so I can't really understand what your talking about. Not sure why I even posted. :blink:

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It does take a while for your self image to catch up , you spent so many years looking at a fat person everyday now it gone your brain has to get used to the new image what help me a lot is pictures I took of myself and now able to compare the old and new , so if you got pictures get them out take some new ones and just compare them and also get new clothes if you are still wearing the old ones it doesn't help , I spent a lot of money on in between clothes but it help me get use to my new body before surgey in january I went from 263 lbs , size 44 waist , 2xl shirt to 197 lbs size 34 waist , med to lrg shirt and in the last month I am getting used to the new me

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Ok do i need to see a shrink. I have lost 82 pounds and I feel great. People tell me I look great. I can fit in xl shirts and 36 inch waiste pants. Why is it when I look in the mirror I see the same fat guy I was before? I know I look different but for some reason when I see myself I appear the same... What gives? Do I need counseling? Also I am worried about the transfer of addiction I here about. I have not found my new addiction. I do find myself longing for something. I dont know what it is but I have a feeling like something is missing. Am I alone on this? Please my fellow bandsters if anyone is going to understand it will be you all. please give me your thoughts...

I'm sure this is normal for I still see the fat guy in the mirror 1 year out. Wife says I should not lose anymore, but, I don't see it in my mind yet, but, pictures do make me feel better.

As far as transfer of addiction, I don't believe that I have gone through that either. Maybe it's not everyone that this happens to, but, it is good to watch out for.

Congratulations on the 82 lbs. Awesome!!! I also am wearing a comfortable 36 inch waist from a 44 inch waist. Heck, the last time I wore a 36 was probably in mid school. My goal is to get into a comfortable 34 pant size. jake

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I know what you are talking about.....I have lost a total of 178 pounds.....I have been working the past 11 and a half years to regain my health.......99 of that came off since Spring of 2010 with the band. I am one half the size I used to be. People keep telling me I need to stop loosing weight but i don't see it. Last week I was in a conference room alone and walked up to the grease board and just marked how wide I thought I was. In my mind I am about 12"-14" wider than I actually am.

I trust the mind will eventually catch up.

Good Luck!

Stagegirl

I'm sure this is normal for I still see the fat guy in the mirror 1 year out. Wife says I should not lose anymore, but, I don't see it in my mind yet, but, pictures do make me feel better.

As far as transfer of addiction, I don't believe that I have gone through that either. Maybe it's not everyone that this happens to, but, it is good to watch out for.

Congratulations on the 82 lbs. Awesome!!! I also am wearing a comfortable 36 inch waist from a 44 inch waist. Heck, the last time I wore a 36 was probably in mid school. My goal is to get into a comfortable 34 pant size. jake

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NY - I know exactly what you mean. I was at about 80 lbs liost and when I looked in the mirror I still saw the same size 22 chick. It is only now, since my Tummy Tuck, that I am starting to think I look ok

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I would not rule out a couple of sessions of counseling. It will help you to accept yourself faster and deal with any lingering triggering thoughts. A good counselor will not keep you coming back forever. Maybe one session will do it. Counseling is freeing!

God luck!

Cheri

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thanks everyone. I appreciate all the replies. Glad to have the support.

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It's very normal to have body image issues when you lose a lot of weight. My best friend lost 50 pounds a few years ago, and I could never understand why she didn't think she looked good in half the clothes she tried on when we went shopping. She always tried to hide herself and tried on stuff that was way too big for her. Well, fast forward a few years and I know EXACTLY how she feels! It's amazing...when I was heavier, I never really saw a heavy person in the mirror (denial maybe?). Now that I've lost over 150 pounds, I still see a 350 pound woman in the mirror. I can't wrap my brain around the fact that I look like a normal-sized person! I don't know if that will ever go away...

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My 1 year bandiversary is Wednesday. Thus far, I've lost 108 pounds in that year. I still feel like i weight 270 pounds. I started seeing a therapist a few months ago to deal with body image issues, as well as sporadic binge eating. I can't say that it's helped a great deal yet, but we're working on it. I'm a big proponent of therapy, especially during huge changes such as these. Good Luck!

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Wow! I can't wait to be able to say that I have lost 80lbs or 100lbs. Im sure I will feel the same when I make it there. I have lost 40lbs and people say that I look great, but really I don't see a big difference. Probably because I have so far to go! That part is frustrating! Good job NY!:)

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ok, so i see its not just me. Maybe I will see about a few sessions-(depending on my insurance). Has anybody ever caught their reflection and thought wow, I look really good and in the same day caught your reflection wearing the same clothes and now think you look terrible? I have. Thanks for all the input. I keep checking back on this so I read them all.

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I think that most of us have felt as you do ... I certainly have/do. I think we will get there in due time.

As for trading addictions ... that's not always a bad thing. My new addiction is power walking. No one could have made me believe that I would be excited about power waking up at 5:00 a.m. every morning so that I can get 3 miles in before going to work. Who knew? :lol: But, I really love it. And, I can hardly wait for "winter walking". Now, I realize that because I live in L.A. it's not much of a winter, but last year I walked on mornings that were 30 degrees (or was it 40)... anyway it was COLD to me. LOL I am looking forward to bundling up in my sweats and gloves and hoodie and thermals and walking till I get warm! LOL

I have though, picked up another habit that is ... hmmmm ... a little more dangerous: SHOPPING! EEEEKKK ... I am a shopping maniac! I love it. I have to be careful not to let it get too out of hand (it's already "out of hand"). But I soooo prefer shopping over eating. I consider that a good thing. LOL For example, Saturday I got up at 6 a.m. and walked 3.5 miles, then went to physical therapy (it's more exhasting than walking), then went to the County Fair and walked for around 4 hours. On Sunday I was dead dog tired, but I went to church ... and had to stop at the mall because there was a sale AND I had a coupon -- bought 3 pairs of shoes. Got a GREAT deal. When I got home all I could do is eat lunch and take a nap! But, before banding I would have stayed at home in front of the TV and munched the day away, napping intermittently. I like this better. :P

All the best to all us "losers"! :)

~Fran

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It's all in your head! I haven't lost much and people keep telling me I look amazing and I look like I lost a lot and I'm like where? Where are you seeing this?

It's like the saying goes: "You are your worst critic"

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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