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When you dont have the support



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Hi, my name is ash and ive been back and forth with getting wls for six years. The first go around it was all my parents doing they wanted for me to get the gastric bypass surgery. But, at that time i didn't want it and wasn't prepared for it. I considered having gastric bypass surgery again in 2008 with me fully on board. I was ready this time and done extensive research. All of my family knew and they were all on board. I did all the pre-op testing and even had a surgery date. I got cold feet and backed out of the surgery a week before. Now, its 2011 and I'm looking into the lap band this time around. I'm doing this a little differently I'm not telling all of my family members just my mom and dad. My dad is totally on board always has been. My mom on the other hand is against me having the surgery. She feels like i should just try weight watchers again FOR THE THRID TIME. She feels that weight watchers is the way to go and that i would be more successful without all the restriction that comes from the lap band. Now, she is making me very conflicted if lap band is the surgery for me. But, at the same time i have to keep reminding myself that it's my journey not hers.

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Hi, my name is ash and ive been back and forth with getting wls for six years. The first go around it was all my parents doing they wanted for me to get the gastric bypass surgery. But, at that time i didn't want it and wasn't prepared for it. I considered having gastric bypass surgery again in 2008 with me fully on board. I was ready this time and done extensive research. All of my family knew and they were all on board. I did all the pre-op testing and even had a surgery date. I got cold feet and backed out of the surgery a week before. Now, its 2011 and I'm looking into the lap band this time around. I'm doing this a little differently I'm not telling all of my family members just my mom and dad. My dad is totally on board always has been. My mom on the other hand is against me having the surgery. She feels like i should just try weight watchers again FOR THE THRID TIME. She feels that weight watchers is the way to go and that i would be more successful without all the restriction that comes from the lap band. Now, she is making me very conflicted if lap band is the surgery for me. But, at the same time i have to keep reminding myself that it's my journey not hers.

You sound quite young since you are depending on what mom and dad are saying about the surgery. I on the other hand am old enough to know better, I am 58. Before we left New York I was okayed for gastric bypass and did not want that but the band and after going through all the hoops and testing was okayed but backed out at the last minute just before we moved to AZ. I thought at that time that it would be easy to get approval out here when I started working and could get the band. Well, it took another 2 1/2 years before I could get the approval for the band and my Dr. specifically said that gastric was not the answer for me but the band would be better. The Dr. was so right and I am thrilled to be in the position of not being on a diet and at almost 3 years of being at goal, I feel like a million dollars. Go with your heart and the Dr's advice on what is best for you and do it. I wish I had done this when I was young instead of doing the yo yo dieting thing for my whole life. Good luck in your decision and just keep a positive attitude in whatever choice you make.

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tell ur mom u can do weight watchers when u are banded.. ;)

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How about just tell your Mom to do weight watchers herself. Sorry, I understand that we have people in our lives that influence us but this has to be your decision, not hers.

If this is what you truly want, then go for it :).

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Hey. I looked at your profile and saw that I was only a few months older than you. I can understand how parents can have a big role as a support system, but it is your life. If your mom was supportive of you getting gastric bypass, then she should be OK with you getting the band. Maybe it's because you've backed out of WLS before, and she wants to make sure you're serious about it.

My parents aren't thrilled about the surgery, but they understand my weight struggle. My dad has brain cancer, so understandably my WLS surgery and journey aren't much of a priority and is on the back burner in my family. I will be doing this mostly on my own. It might be hard, but it's doable.

Just try to explain to your mom how you've tried Weight Watchers 2 times before, and it didn't work. The band has you lose weight the "real way", but you have assistance and something to fall back on so you don't fail along the way. It doesn't do the weight loss for you- you do it on your own.

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Hi, my name is ash and ive been back and forth with getting wls for six years. The first go around it was all my parents doing they wanted for me to get the gastric bypass surgery. But, at that time i didn't want it and wasn't prepared for it. I considered having gastric bypass surgery again in 2008 with me fully on board. I was ready this time and done extensive research. All of my family knew and they were all on board. I did all the pre-op testing and even had a surgery date. I got cold feet and backed out of the surgery a week before. Now, its 2011 and I'm looking into the lap band this time around. I'm doing this a little differently I'm not telling all of my family members just my mom and dad. My dad is totally on board always has been. My mom on the other hand is against me having the surgery. She feels like i should just try weight watchers again FOR THE THRID TIME. She feels that weight watchers is the way to go and that i would be more successful without all the restriction that comes from the lap band. Now, she is making me very conflicted if lap band is the surgery for me. But, at the same time i have to keep reminding myself that it's my journey not hers.

I was banded 6/27/11 and have lost 35 lbs (including pre-op Adkins diet). My BP is down to 120/80 and I feel great! I went into surgery around 8 am and was home by 3pm. I am working out and feel GREAT... Go For It!!!:D

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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