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GAINING and SCARED



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I had the surgery 6 years ago, lost to my goal size and have kept it off until January. I've gained 20 pounds and am scared to death that I've stretched out the pouch and ruined everything. So, I went to doc and he removed my fill completely (despite my tears and pleading) and told me to come back in 3 weeks. The hope is that the pouch will have shrunk and I can get the fill back. HOWEVER... In my typical, self-destructive fashion... I'm not making good eating choices. In fact, I've gained 3 pounds! I'm just sick... This is the one thing in my life I can't seem to manage... WHY? I'M SO SCARED THAT I AM HEADED BACK TO OBESE. I hate the way I look and feel right now... Hate myself for being so undisciplined.

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Hang in there! You can do this - you will get your fill and be right back on track in no time. Deep Breath!

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You'll be okay. Deep breath. The world is not ending. Make healthy choices with your food and get some exercise. The weeks will pass fast and then you'll get your fill. All is not lost.

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I had the surgery 6 years ago, lost to my goal size and have kept it off until January. I've gained 20 pounds and am scared to death that I've stretched out the pouch and ruined everything. So, I went to doc and he removed my fill completely (despite my tears and pleading) and told me to come back in 3 weeks. The hope is that the pouch will have shrunk and I can get the fill back. HOWEVER... In my typical, self-destructive fashion... I'm not making good eating choices. In fact, I've gained 3 pounds! I'm just sick... This is the one thing in my life I can't seem to manage... WHY? I'M SO SCARED THAT I AM HEADED BACK TO OBESE. I hate the way I look and feel right now... Hate myself for being so undisciplined.

I think we all understand your fear. I know I do! You know exactly what you have to do. Now, take a deep breath and go do it!!! Don't let yourself fall back into your old habits. If it helps (it helps me)...make copies of an old "fat" picture. The one that disgusts you the most. Put one wherever you will see it when the old ways try creeping in. Take a good, long look at it and remember. Remember how unhealthy you were...Remember how people treated you...Remember how you felt when you saw your reflection. You DON'T want to go back there! You did a great job losing and maintaining for SIX YEARS!!!! You can do it for the rest of your life!

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You've definitely come to the right place for support! Hang tough and keep your dreams in sight. Good luck!

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Well said, Cindy... jntedwards, you've come so far, don't sabotage yourself! I'm still in the struggling to lose another 40 pounds stage and I don't want you to be there again. Remember how good it felt when you met your goal, don't you want to feel that way again? I know you do. Remember how good it felt when you fit into a much smaller size, I know you want to be there comfortably again. Remember how good you feel about yourself when you are where you want to be, you deserve to be there again. Twenty pounds isn't much, you can get back down there; but 50 pounds is much tougher. Don't allow that to happen. Start right here and now acting as if you have a fill and using the rules that got you to lose so much weight. YOU CAN DO IT! Just set your mind to it and bring back that willpower. We all fall off the bandwagon sometimes but getting back on is what makes us achieve our goals. So, go for it; you've done it before and you will do it again!! Keep us posted... :)

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Thank you all so much... I hear you! I tell myself all the same words and yet for some reason, at some time everyday... I get weak and binge. It's almost as though I want to prove to myself that I am going to fail. I go back to the doctor next Friday... What if the pouch is not shrunk enough and he won't fill me???? Without the fill... I will not have the self control to avoid gaining. I know this about myself. I'm ashamed of myself- food should not be so important... It's just stupid.

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Thank you all so much... I hear you! I tell myself all the same words and yet for some reason, at some time everyday... I get weak and binge. It's almost as though I want to prove to myself that I am going to fail. I go back to the doctor next Friday... What if the pouch is not shrunk enough and he won't fill me???? Without the fill... I will not have the self control to avoid gaining. I know this about myself. I'm ashamed of myself- food should not be so important... It's just stupid.

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Sorry I sound so whiney... I need to put my big girl panties on and DEAL. I need to get in that "zone" - I have every reason to be motivated... Why aren't I??

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Thank you all so much... I hear you! I tell myself all the same words and yet for some reason, at some time everyday... I get weak and binge. It's almost as though I want to prove to myself that I am going to fail. I go back to the doctor next Friday... What if the pouch is not shrunk enough and he won't fill me???? Without the fill... I will not have the self control to avoid gaining. I know this about myself. I'm ashamed of myself- food should not be so important... It's just stupid.

You can't let yourself worry about the "what ifs". You need to take everything as it comes. The stress of the unknown is probably contributing to your binging. You can't change future events, the only thing you can control is how you respond to them.

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You can fix this! You've done it once and you have not fallen too far. Go back to the beginning and start writing EVERYTHING down that goes into your mouth (including drinks) and start counting your calories. Hold yourself accountable for what you're taking in. Try to start working out (if you aren't already) and record that also. Find a workout buddy if you need to and start going to support groups.

YOU CAN DO THIS! You have done an AMAZING job and you've recognized the start of overeating again, just recognizing that shows that you have learned during this past 6 years and you are not going back. If you need to talk to someone more, feel free to post on here or message me if you need some motivation :)

I had the surgery 6 years ago, lost to my goal size and have kept it off until January. I've gained 20 pounds and am scared to death that I've stretched out the pouch and ruined everything. So, I went to doc and he removed my fill completely (despite my tears and pleading) and told me to come back in 3 weeks. The hope is that the pouch will have shrunk and I can get the fill back. HOWEVER... In my typical, self-destructive fashion... I'm not making good eating choices. In fact, I've gained 3 pounds! I'm just sick... This is the one thing in my life I can't seem to manage... WHY? I'M SO SCARED THAT I AM HEADED BACK TO OBESE. I hate the way I look and feel right now... Hate myself for being so undisciplined.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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