Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🎉 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins

Husband hurt my feelings....

zeniada

Recommended Posts

zeniada    9

zeniada
Posted

If it is that easy to offend you then there is no help for you

Did you ever stop to think that his comment was not an insult but a (clumsy) caring statement that he is concerned about you going backwards after such a great effort to get where you are now?

Sometimes women astound me with their interpretations of us men's statements and comments

And after he expressed his concern - what did you do? You kicked him out of the bedroom and relegated him to a place of no importance in his own home

Dont expect to get any support from him for a long time girl. You are own your own - like it or lump it.

thanks for your comment.... HOWEVER you dont know my realationship with my husband thus can not assume to understand HOW his comment affected me...

As far as making him sleep out of the bed room I AM THE ONE who left.....I AM THE ONE who chooses to sleep somewhere else....

And as far as support from him I NEVER GOT IT TO BEGIN WITH so I DONT expect it.....

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Rsilversea    2

Rsilversea
Posted

Reminds me of a comment my dad made to my mom once while she was making carrot pudding for Christmas. "Why don't you just slap that suet on your hips. That's where it's going to go anyways." I didn't hang around to see the end result....

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

CheckYes    46

CheckYes
Posted

I understand it upset you deeply. I just don't understand how you can be upset at his comment then post about how he needs to "get off his butt and lose 50 lbs." It's hypocritical to be angry that he made a comment about your weight and then turn around and make a comment about his. You may not have said it to his face, sure, but you've said it behind his back here. I don't know which is worse.

I wish you had more support from your husband. I suspect it might be a two way street based on this thread. Have you considered counseling to help address and discuss your needs from him? Some people never get back what they put into a relationship - you may never get what you need from him but, if you have kids, counseling is worth a try.

I wish you the best.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Jenn1214    120

Jenn1214
Posted

Men don't realize that more often it's the WAY they say things, rather than WHAT they say, that is the most hurtful. That may have been his own stupid way of showing concern for your health, or he might just actually be that stupid. I don't know your husband so only you can answer that question. Hopefully he realizes how much he hurt you and he will learn to support you in the future. If his lack of support and hurtful words continue, you may want to consider counseling if he won't talk to you about why he is behaving this way. Good luck and keep up the good work!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Beachbunny    5

Beachbunny
Posted

If it is that easy to offend you then there is no help for you

Did you ever stop to think that his comment was not an insult but a (clumsy) caring statement that he is concerned about you going backwards after such a great effort to get where you are now?

Sometimes women astound me with their interpretations of us men's statements and comments

And after he expressed his concern - what did you do? You kicked him out of the bedroom and relegated him to a place of no importance in his own home

Dont expect to get any support from him for a long time girl. You are own your own - like it or lump it.

For the likes of your post i take it you are DIVORCED?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    Bariatric Forums

    For Patients

    Health Professionals

    Search Surgeons

    Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

    ×