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Husband finally gives his blessing. Surgery May 19!!!!



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I am thrilled my husband has finally decided to support me on this. I am very excited and nervous. My surgery is scheduled for May 19th. I will be getting the Swedish band here in South Africa. Since, I will be living here for the next several years, I thought it would be best to have it done here.

I cannot wait to get this done. My BMI is 34 and I have co morbidities. I have gained the last 20 pounds pretty rapidly and though I have been this weight before, this time I am feeling the strain of carry so much extra weight. My back is killing me, I can barely do the moves in my karate class or hold positions, my feet hurt and I cannot bare to look at myself in the mirror. I dont even want to take a before picture. I am so uncomfortable.

I cannot figure out how to do the ticker. Can someone point me to instructions on how to do that?

Thanks!!!

Vu

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I got my ticker at www.tickerfactory.com . It took about 2 minutes to customize it. At the end they give you some code (use the one for bulletin boards) that you can paste into your signature.

To update your signature on this site, click on the button at the top that says "signed in as vucarre". From the drop down menu, select My Settings. On that page you will see the title "Your Options". Under that, click on the "Profile" tab. On the menu on the left you should see "Change Signature". Click on that. This is the page where you can add your signature, any info you want, and the code for your ticker. This is a character and a line limit.

Good luck with the ticker!

Congratuations on getting your hubby's blessing. My husband always supported me, but he kept having anxiety attacks that I will leave him once I get to my goal weight. His fears were really taking over. It has been a lot of work reassuring him that I am doing this for me, not so I could look for a replacement husband.

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Thanks for the instructions. I think I did it. But, I cannot see, just the script. Should I be able to see my tracker?

I am not sure what my husbands actual reason's for not wanting me to get the surgery. He was citing safety. But, I suspect there is more to it than that. Though, I am not sure what it is. But, as long as he agreed. After the surgery, I will try to explore what the real issues are/were. Thank you for the support!!!

Vu

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Oh I am SO happy to hear that!!!! What changed his mind? It helps so much (mentally) to have your spouse's support! I never heard of the Swedish Band-what is it?

Good Luck to you and please continue to keep us posted!!

_____________________

I had trouble with the ticker thing too - but you need to copy and paste the entire box. If the first box doesn't work then try copying and pasting the second option.:)

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Oh I am SO happy to hear that!!!! What changed his mind? It helps so much (mentally) to have your spouse's support! I never heard of the Swedish Band-what is it?

Good Luck to you and please continue to keep us posted!!

_____________________

I had trouble with the ticker thing too - but you need to copy and paste the entire box. If the first box doesn't work then try copying and pasting the second option.:)

I think I got my ticker to work. Yes, that is what I did, I tried the 2nd option and that seemed to work.

For the last month everytime I brought it up he would just get annoyed and acting as if I was crazy for even thinking about doing it. Then he asked a friend of ours who is in the medical profession what he thought about it, whose wife is also considering it. He basically said, "it is not so much a question of if they get, it is more of when." That's what the friend said he told my husband. My husband and I had not been able to discuss it because of hectic schedules or my daughter being around. So, he asked me to send him an email telling him why I wanted the surgery. Initially, I thought, I am not your secretary I am not sending a memo. Then I thought you know, what, I want the surgery so I will send the memo if that is what it will take. So, I just poured my heart about how tired I am of killing myself on diets and lose weight only to gain it back with a vengeance. This has been going on since I was in 3rd grade. I am 47 and I dont want to spend the rest of my life doing this. My mother died of cancer at 60. If, I only have 13 years left, I want to spend it at 135 pounds.

That seemed to have cinched it. So, I paid my $1000 deposit today. Surgery is the 19th.

Ok, on to the next hurdle. We moved to S. Africa almost 3 years ago. My friend who is also considering the band lives her also and we are college friends and since we have moved here, our husbands have bonded as well. I also have a few really good friends I have made here. But, I have only known them since I have been here and i am not sure I want to tell them. The reason being, I know they will both say, you dont need that. I know that is what they will say. But, they dont know my full weight history. They do not know of my life long struggle. I dont want to go into all of that. I want to put all that behind me. But, we take karate together and I will miss two weeks of classes. So, I will need to tell them, I am have a procedure. One for sure will ask me what? So, I need a way to just say a non invasive procedure that will cause me to miss 4 classes. It is a smallish thing. I will tell them eventually.

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Oh I am SO happy to hear that!!!! What changed his mind? It helps so much (mentally) to have your spouse's support! I never heard of the Swedish Band-what is it?

Good Luck to you and please continue to keep us posted!!

_____________________

I had trouble with the ticker thing too - but you need to copy and paste the entire box. If the first box doesn't work then try copying and pasting the second option.:)

Oh, btw, NJG, did you tell your husband yet? How did it go? Oh, and the Swedish band is just one the main 3 band brands. I think outside the states the swedish band is more widely known. I think it was actually one of the first bands.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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