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Omg I finally have relieved this off my shoulders to the most important person my mom. I knew that it would turn out like this , she said no don't get the lap band,all u have to do is workout and eat right(you are taking the eazy way out do weight watchers,I will pay for it.I was sitting there thinking if you would have told me that years ago I would not be 293 now.I have June 7 to convince her but now , she has me rethinking why did I tell her what have I done?

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I'm sorry to hear that! Your mom is very much like many other people out there.. They don't view lap band the way we do. I think shes going to try her best to convince you not to get it. Since you're so close to her, yOu should take her to a suppOrt group with you!

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It's a good thing that you told your mom even if you don't get the support you are looking for. It shows that you are serious about your decision. Also, it would have awful trying to hide it.

That said, your mom doesn't get the weight issue. Unless you've lived it....you don't understand. If it were all as simple as Weight Watchers (I've done it 3 times!), there would be very few people contemplating surgery. I'm assuming you've been on diets and they haven't worked. Surgery is tough and few of us went this route without trying every other thing first.

I don't know if I'd spend alot of time trying to convince your mom. If you want to try WW on her dime, go ahead. Surgery will be there if it doesn't work. If YOU are convinced that surgery is right for you, just tell her you're going ahead and she will come around, either before June 7th or after when she sees how successful you are.

Mom's worry and we tend think we know better than our children, but only you know what's right for you. Listen to what your mom has to say, but make your own decision.

Cindy

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You haave the weight problem, and for years. You need to do something about it, And you need all the help you cAn get. Once the operation is done with, your mom understands that the lap band does not do magic, but that it will help you at weight watchers, then she will rethink everything.

I say do it, it works if you follow the rules, i wish your mom was supportive, but i guess she needs infos.

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Oh and ive done ww, i lost weight many times , a lot of weight, but i aways gained it back. I am counting on the lAp band to keep my weight loss in check. Loosing weight is much easier than keeping it.

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I'm sorry that happened. My mom was the first person I told, I've been dieting for years, Jenny Craig, WW. And she knew I've struggled, so when I told her she was very supportive. Even said right away when it was time, shed take off work to take me to the hospital and help me.

Hopefully your mom will see the light that you are only doing something to truly help yourself

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Thank u all for the support. I did tell her that I would give her a brochure , but taking her to a support meeting is a good idea. I will be honest and tell u guys I have not tryed everything but I have diet twice, herb life & 50million pound challenge .... Excerise included. I lost 50 lbs on the last one but now here I am 55 pounds heavier. Does it sound like I tryed everything ?

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Well that you tried everything or not, it doesnt matter in my opinion because you have a lot to loose. Maybe you would succeed alone, maybe i would have also, i did loose 50 pounds on my on 6 months before surgery and some ppl have told me not to get the operation, but most stayed supportive. In fact, my surgeon has showed us many research about weight loss and only 5% of ppl who diet actually lose and manage to keep it off. 5%??? are you in there? If you tried already and you havent succeeded, chances are you will stuggle.

Another thing you can explain to your mother, fat cells stay in your body when you loose weight, they become empty when you loose weight but they will alwYs try to signal your brain so thAt they cAn become full again. The only way to remove them is by liposuction. It is also what the surgeon has explained to us.

It is not a by pass, tell her it is reversable, it is a small surgery, what are the real risks? Being heavy is more risky than having a lap band.

Good luck, and i feel your pain, it must be difficult

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I am glad you told her. Growing up i was a dancer and always in shape but still bigger than i should be. When i was diganosed with low thyroidism, high blood pressures, and PCOS i put on lots of weight. It was really hard for me i hated going to holidays b/c people would talk behind my back saying how much weight i have gained ( and they were all big themselves). When i was in the process of researching it my mom brought it up to me and thats when i chose to take the 1st step. I chose not to tell anyone , but my boyfriend and mother. Maybe some day in the future i will tell, but right now i will just enjoy it! Your mom will come around i promise!

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I understand where you're coming from. While my mom wasn't against me having lap band, she seemed relatively indifferent when I first told her about it. She finally voiced her approval about three days before I had it done because I sent her a really good explanation of exactly what it is and how it helps you lose weight. She has also had weight problems, and she said she would consider getting it done also. So maybe it will just take time for your mom to come around.

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I'm sorry you didnt get the support from your mom, but i'm in the same boat. In my family I only told my mom and sister and neither was very supportive. So what have I done...focused on the friends that are supportive. Yeah it hurts that my family isnt on board, but this isnt about them it's about me. I've contemplated this decision for 5 years, prayed and i have a peace about it. People who have never struggled with weight just dont get it no matter how many times you explain it to them. I say if you have a peace about the surgery and you feel this is what's best for you go for it. You will find plenty of support here, cuz WE GET IT!

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I am very serious and certain about my decision, but I haven't told anyone but my children......and really don't intend to. I have heard the nasty remarks made about others at work who have had lapband, with people watching every bite they eat and criticizing their food choices........and I'm not up for that. My family--while we are close--would be much the same. Besides my own siblings--all brothers, my Mom is from a large family of mostly sisters. If one knows something, they all know. I don't wish to the topic of conversation for the years to come. It's sad--but I don't need that.

I may rethink this decision about who I will tell, when I get closer to the surgery date--but I doubt it.

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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