Things are moving very fast for me. I just made the decision to get the Lap Band a few weeks ago and have a preliminary surgery date May 26 (if my other doctors get the paperwork to surgeon in time). I have told very few people what I am doing because I really don't want to hear the lectures. I did, however tell my personal trainer who turned out to be a complete jacka$$ about the whole thing; telling me the surgeon was only interested in making money and not my health and that I am cheating and won't feel as good about myself. He really hurt my feelings and I wrote a long email to him today...

this is the email I sent

I just wanted to let you know that I am having the Lap Band Surgery as my cardiologist and primary doctor have recommended. I had hoped your attitude towards this recommendation would have been more supportive rather than negative. This is not an easy decision to make. I have been in a battle with my weight all of my life. To be offered this tool to help me end the battle of constant struggle is like a life line to me. The fact that it may help me end the gain/loss cycle I have been through the last few years outweighs any of the possible side effects for me. I do not see this as cheating as you say or an easy way out, it will still take work. This is only a tool. There will still be struggles and there will be ups and downs, but I welcome this chance to get my life and weight back under control.

I feel like I have worked out harder than I ever have; even outside the gym even though you don’t believe me, and I have seen very little results. I have altered my diet and I have given up so much for very little and I was at the point that I just wanted to give up. One of the biggest reason I stopped coming to the gym was because I knew you would not be supportive of my decision. I appreciate the confidence you seem to have in my ability to lose the weight on my own but the struggles have gone on for many years and my patience has grown thin...no pun intended. I realize it is your job to be a glass half full kind of person but please cease in future conversations or comments that negatively impact my doctor and my decision to have the surgery. It only aggravates and adds stress to an already serious matter.

I in no way doubt you as a trainer and would like to start training with you again after my surgery. I feel there is a better chance that I will see a change and I won’t feel like I am just throwing away my time and money. If you don’t want to continue on as my trainer under these conditions, I understand, but I would like to have you train me again after this is over.

******

I am even more upset now because he has made no attempt to respond. Is is normal to get this kind of negative feedback when you tell people you are having the procedure?

I agree wtih the others on here.. Lose that trainer! I stay away from all negativity (even if it is my family/friends)... We just avoid the subject. I have found that most of the negativity comes from people who either have never been where you are or.. those who are where you are but refuse to take the steps necessary as you have to make a change in their lives! Congrats on your decision! Stick to your guns! You will not be sorry! Hope to see "less of you" in the near future! God Bless!

I think the thing that pi$$es me off the most is he didn't have the cahoonas to reply or even acknowledge that he got the email!! I have even "bumped into him" on facebook a time or two and nothing . I refuse to train with someone who lacks compassion. I have 12 training sessions left at that gym, I can't wait to see the look on his face when there is a huge difference after the surgery and with a more understanding trainer.

I go see the surgeon on Monday. If all goes well I will have the surgery the May 26. I am self pay and may not be able to get to money until mid-June but regardless, it is a short enough time that I am getting nervous and second guessing myself.

I think the thing that pi$$es me off the most is he didn't have the cahoonas to reply or even acknowledge that he got the email!! I have even "bumped into him" on facebook a time or two and nothing . I refuse to train with someone who lacks compassion. I have 12 training sessions left at that gym, I can't wait to see the look on his face when there is a huge difference after the surgery and with a more understanding trainer.

I go see the surgeon on Monday. If all goes well I will have the surgery the May 26. I am self pay and may not be able to get to money until mid-June but regardless, it is a short enough time that I am getting nervous and second guessing myself.

i am self pay too.. now, I need another fill. But it is WORTH EVERY PENNY! My life has made 180 degree turn! Life is good! Make the best of it!

PLEASE don't let people like that in your life...they are poison! Good e mail but DONT go back to him.He is basically giving medical advice without going to medical school. I read so many posts by people who let others in their lives be mean and hurtful to them...if its family its hard to make a change but why pay someone for emotional abuse...we will cheer for you here! This is not cheating and your PT is a complete douche and shouldnt be in the line of work hes in!

Wow negative feedback before you have surgery. I'm sorry. That has to take a little toll on you. I know it did me. Everything is happening fast for me as well. Went to see the surgeon the 27th of April and surgery date is the 27th of May. I have told very few people and I think that is a good idea. Less negative feedback I will receieve. As for your trainer I think it would be in best interest to find a new trainer and start from fresh. You need someone that is going to support you! Talk to your doctor, they may know someone that works with WL patients. I think they would have a better understanding of what you need from here on out. Just my suggestion...

Good luck on the up coming surgery!

I think I would next send that same email to the gym manager/owner and explain that you haven't hear from the trainer. I'd say I was very hurt by his unprofessional reaction to your statement that you are having a life saving surgery. To say that you are cheating by having the surgery shows that he wants you to fail at weight loss, and feels himself superior (in my opinion). He obviously does not want you to succeed, at the very least, he could use some education about bariatric surgery. No one deserves to be treated the way you were. I know it happens, but it shouldn't. If you had said you were having open heart surgery, he'd have probably said, "I'll be here waiting for you when you are ready to start again!" But darn you that you are trying to avoid that!

Ask that you be lined up with a trainer who has worked with bariatric patients before and understands our needs. If the gym doesn't have anyone like that, it would be a great idea for them to invest in someone who does understand the bariatric community. I think I'd tell them I don't plan to renew my personal training sessions when they run out.

Lose this person, and get another. It's your money ! The last thing you need is someone dragging you down, because you want to do the right thing.

That's not fare.

Try a physical Therapy place, you may have to call a few, but,,, they are renting out their Gym to you on a monthly basis (LOT CHEAPER I"M SURE).

All the equipment is there, you know your program, Go for it.. Also,,,, some have pools, and you can AQUACISE. or Water Aerobics, Same thing my guess.

I called a place up here where I live, and I don't even have to be a prior patient. So for $30.00 a month,,,,, I will have use of the entire Gym. Thats where I am going this Winter. For now I will Walk.

Good Luck, Shirley

I havent heard one thing positive about me getting this lapband from work nor friends...but I look at it this way. They are seeing me lose the weight and they still havent with all the diet they do. So am sure they thinking they should have went with the lap band. This is alot of work no way is this a easy way out. When I hear a negative remark. I tell them to read on lap band before judging....it shuts them up Good Luck !!

I, like the original poster have not told everyone that I know about the surgery; and I think that's okay. It's amazing to me though, that some people who I really trusted have been so negative! I am so sorry that your personal trainer is so completely ignorant; and I think your email was well-written. Go you for standing up for yourself!!!

If I lost a pound for every negative comment I got about my weight, or lapband and the decision to get it, I'd be the same size as Halle Berry. When the receptionist at the pulmonary office said she was gonna call me Queen cause I reminded her of Queen Lateefah, I wanted to smack her. No offense to Queen Lateefah, shes a nice looking woman, but being looked at as big momma, Mammy, and anything else matronly is not flattering. Even compliments are half hazard. I dont want to be seen as some sex object, I just dont want to be looked at in disgust when I eat, and void of any physical attraction. Sorry, I was venting. Your trainer is a jerk, you may need to get a new one. Being over weight builds a tough skin we are scrutinized so much, but it also makes you bitter. I dont want to be bitter. Do what you must to make yourself happy, and dont let anyone steal your sunshine.

I hope you're doing well and haven't gone back to that trainer! I'm sorry you had to go through that, I wouldn't have waited to e-mail him...he would've gotten my piece of mind right then and there. My PCP wasn't too thrilled and told me I needed to go see a nutritionist. I told him I've seen several nutritionists over many years (by his request btw!) and did it ever work? NO! I flat out told him I had made up my mind and just wanted him to support me whether he believes in it or not. Next thing I know, he's filling out papers for me (then I find out I didn't need a referral and could've gone on my own!) But oh well, knowledge is power and when you educate people about the band and explain this isn't a quick fix and you have actually tried everything else, hopefully you can get some support.

I did, however tell my personal trainer who turned out to be a complete jacka$$ about the whole thing; telling me the surgeon was only interested in making money and not my health and that I am cheating and won't feel as good about myself. He really hurt my feelings and I wrote a long email to him today...

I in no way doubt you as a trainer and would like to start training with you again after my surgery. I feel there is a better chance that I will see a change and I won't feel like I am just throwing away my time and money. If you don't want to continue on as my trainer under these conditions, I understand, but I would like to have you train me again after this is over.

******

I am even more upset now because he has made no attempt to respond. Is is normal to get this kind of negative feedback when you tell people you are having the procedure?

I got very lucky, my PCP is very excited for me and thinks this is the best option for me. She even told the nurse that she didn't want to send out the standard letter on my, she wanted to write something up herself.

I actually did get an text from trainer a few days ago that went something like this:

T: I sure do miss training you...hope all is well.

M: I have surgery June 30

T: how long will you be down

M: no weights for 6 weeks, cardio after two

T: dang! You still my client?

M: that's up to you, don’t want you to think I am just giving up and taking the easy way out

T: Like you said ur gonna still need to workout. I don't think your giving up..I just know that surgery will have you out of my hands for awhile & I enjoy our sessions

T: Some of these evening clients are boring, we used to have fun!

I didn't reply.

I think the thing that pi$es me off the most is he didn't have the cahoonas to reply or even acknowledge that he got the email!! I have even "bumped into him" on facebook a time or two and nothing . I refuse to train with someone who lacks compassion. I have 12 training sessions left at that gym, I can't wait to see the look on his face when there is a huge difference after the surgery and with a more understanding trainer.

I go see the surgeon on Monday. If all goes well I will have the surgery the May 26. I am self pay and may not be able to get to money until mid-June but regardless, it is a short enough time that I am getting nervous and second guessing myself.

This guy sounds like a real douch bag ! Dont let people like him rent space in your head ! You are making this descion for YOU and your LIFE !! =)

The gym/trainer want 100% of the recognition for your transformation.

There 3 legs to the tri-pod.....

1 - working out

2 - eating better

3 - lap band

WIthout all three the tripod will tip over.

Don't let what anyone says derail you. The lap band is hard, not easy at all.