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Please HELP!

I am the mother of a 14 month old little girl. My surgery is schedule for May 19, 2011 and they have told me that I won't be able to pick her up for 6 weeks. My daughter stays at home with my husband (who works from home) and wants to be with me every second that I am in her presence. Normally, I work full-time and have a long commute. So, I only see her a few hours in the evening. However, I have planned to take 2 and 1/2 weeks off of work after surgery. We will be spending those two and a half weeks togther at our house. My biggest fear is giving in to her crying for me to pick her up and hurting myself. Do you guys have any suggestions on how to handle this?

Thanks in advance!

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Well,,,,,, If that's the case. You have to think of you first. I'm not being selfish, you don't want to develop a Hernia. If that happens, it could be a very long time before you pick her up again.

I understand ! But you must think about yourself. I developed a Hernia, and it has been repaired 3 times. Trust me ! you don't even want to go down that road.

Your doing this too I'm sure to enjoy life with your daughter in the future. Let your Husband pick her up for a while. It will be worth it.

Any Questions? You can get back to me.

Shirley.

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Please HELP!

I am the mother of a 14 month old little girl. My surgery is schedule for May 19, 2011 and they have told me that I won't be able to pick her up for 6 weeks. My daughter stays at home with my husband (who works from home) and wants to be with me every second that I am in her presence. Normally, I work full-time and have a long commute. So, I only see her a few hours in the evening. However, I have planned to take 2 and 1/2 weeks off of work after surgery. We will be spending those two and a half weeks togther at our house. My biggest fear is giving in to her crying for me to pick her up and hurting myself. Do you guys have any suggestions on how to handle this?

Thanks in advance!

I have a little girl 20 months and there are many ways to spend quality time with her without picking her up. You have to let her come to you and get others in the household to do the lifting. You can read to her and watch TV with her. Play ball with her really what ever she likes. Just don't lift her. It has been a little difficult for me but it can be done.

I have to make sure someone always rides to and from day care with me to lift her out and into the car seat! Just plan ahead to have help!

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How much does she weigh? I went back to work one week after banding. I work with animals as an LVT and I lifted up dogs no problem. For the first 3.5 weeks post op, I kept it to under 25lb though. I had no problems. After that I went right back to picking up 60+ lb dogs, depending on how I felt

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My son was 16 months when i had surgery. I had to wait a week, but as long as I sat down first, I was able to pick him up.

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Well,,,,,, If that's the case. You have to think of you first. I'm not being selfish, you don't want to develop a Hernia. If that happens, it could be a very long time before you pick her up again.

I understand ! But you must think about yourself. I developed a Hernia, and it has been repaired 3 times. Trust me ! you don't even want to go down that road.

Your doing this too I'm sure to enjoy life with your daughter in the future. Let your Husband pick her up for a while. It will be worth it.

Any Questions? You can get back to me.

Shirley.

Thanks, Shirley! I have tried to prepare my husband for this, but deep down I don't think he really understands how much he will have to help me with her. Your advice is taken to heart and is my biggest concern.

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I have a little girl 20 months and there are many ways to spend quality time with her without picking her up. You have to let her come to you and get others in the household to do the lifting. You can read to her and watch TV with her. Play ball with her really what ever she likes. Just don't lift her. It has been a little difficult for me but it can be done.

I have to make sure someone always rides to and from day care with me to lift her out and into the car seat! Just plan ahead to have help!

Thanks, Sandy! I am looking forward to spending some quality time with her. And I have thought about asking my mom to come stay with us for the first few days. Although, my husband is not open to this idea. He thinks that we can handle it. Another option is for my daughter to start daycare. We have already been visiting the local centers and schools. Intially, we wanted her to go 2 days a week to gain some social skills. This would give my husband a few hours to devote his attention solely on his work and schedule conference calls. Maybe the week of my surgery is a good week to try it out?

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How much does she weigh? I went back to work one week after banding. I work with animals as an LVT and I lifted up dogs no problem. For the first 3.5 weeks post op, I kept it to under 25lb though. I had no problems. After that I went right back to picking up 60+ lb dogs, depending on how I felt

Thanks, Jess. She weighs about 20 lbs. But her preference is for me to hold her while I am standing. UGH! We will survive! (I hope.)

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My son was 16 months when i had surgery. I had to wait a week, but as long as I sat down first, I was able to pick him up.

Thanks for sharing your experience, Tracy! I am so excited to get to this point in the process. I feel like I can do anything for a little while, even listen to her scream. ;)

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I was told not to pick up anything over 30lbs so you might still be able to lift her within a week. For now maybe have your husband sit on your lap!?!?

Hope it all goes well, good luck!

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My daughter had just turned 2 when I had my surgery, and I was told no lifting over 20lbs for 8 weeks! I had to have her crawl in my lap, and she had to learn "mommy has big owies and can't pick you up for a while". I did tell her I could give her lots of hugs and sat on the lower couch/chairs (that she could climb onto) and cuddled with her as much as possible.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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