Just wanna share and see what you have to say to me.

[Nykee 13]

"Don't look for the band to stop you from eating. Look for it to stop the 'hunger'. *That* is the sweet spot"

GREAT!!!

I eat when I am not hungry. So being full doesnt make a difference... And weird thing is, I was NEVER hungry before the band. Like ever. Now I am hungry ALL the time... I LOVE not being able to eat, if that makes sense. The sweet spot for me is not being able to eat. We dont really NEED to eat, ya know. lol..

[Nykee 13]

It looks like no matter what advice you are given, you will not be willing to follow any of it. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. We all know this journey is not easy. We all struggle daily (am I wrong people?) but those of us who ARE willing to do what it takes (or at least willign to try) can get frustrated by those who are simply not willing to do so, then complain about it. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's clear you're not willing to accept any advice. I do wish you the best. And I do urge you to get an unfill (even a small amount) and to rid your house of the junk food...see a nutritionist and see your surgeon. Are you going to a support group? If not I also urge you to do that.

Its not that I am unwilling. I am willing. I WILL DO ANYTHING..

well, that is what I SAY.... and its not the truth. Obviously its not the truth when I fail and fail and fail and fail.. I just have come to a point where I have to figure out exactly what to do. Not what to TELL MY SELF I will do, and then fail at doing it. I dont know how to explain it. I know it prolly sounds like I just dont want to do right thing, or I dont want to try hard enough or I dont want to be responsible.... but this is Me here, after 20 years plus, or failing... and the ENTIRE TIME I was working on it, planning on it, doing it, trying, researching, digging, following, changing, I have been to support groups, dozens of them. I have seen nutritionist, I have been in therapy... I cant list out everything I have done.. BUT I PROMISE, I HAVE DONE IT ALL... ANYTHING ANY OF YOU SUGGEST for me to do, I HAVE BEEN THERE AND I HAVE DONE THAT>>> and probably more than once, more than twice... more than most actually. ITS ALL I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR years and years on end. Its my life.. its a daily thing, ...

I agree with being unwilling to get an unfil... Until I see how that could work for me. Which I cant see why to do it.

[Nykee 13]

My only other advice would be to watch The Secret.

I did watch it. I watched it over and over. I made notes. I got the book. I kept it in my purse. I beleive it in whole heartedly. I KNOW its the right way to be. ...

but.. I fail at it.

[Nykee 13]

This may be harsh but nonetheless, here it is. I think it is incredibly selfish of you to come to this board and look for help and suggestions of how to do this journey the wrong way....and be so very blatant about it. You can put all the nice terms to it you want such as...being honest...but at the end of the day it is just blatant disregard for what this place is all about.

There are many people on here who stumble and none of us are perfect but the goal is to lift each other up and encourage one another to get into the battle the healthy and correct way. If you are so clearly unable and unwilling to do so I think it is unfair for you to post it here.

I realize that everyone's journey is different. Again I acknowledge that most of us will stumble and not always do things perfectly. But to just flat out say we are not going to and we are looking for a way to do things wrong and hope others will help us figure out how to do that.....is really selfish and destructive to the most basic purpose of this place.

I really do hope something changes for you and you can muster up what it takes to do this correctly. You can do the right thing wrong...and it is still wrong in the end. We should all strive to do the right thing right.....and help others to do the same along the way.

Your right and im sorry. .

I dont want to offend anyone.

I cant be a part of a support network usually .. cuz im this way.

Thank you for your advice.

I sure hope I can muster up what it takes to do this correctly too, ... And yes we should all strive to do the right thing... and I DO.. What makes you think I dont? I know nothing about you, but maybe you have been overweight for many many years, and maybe for many years you never did the right thing, by dieting and exersizing enough to lose the weight... I mean if you did, you wouldnt be overweight or needing the band. IF you were too fat for 5 years or 10 or 20 and you failed to lose the weight, than you WERE NOT DOING THE RIGHT THING.... its just a fact.. I am SURE you tried and you had good intentions and you did everything in your power to do the right thing.. but you didnt.. and neither did I... And now I find my self STILL NOT doing the RIght thing... thats all... Dont think for one minute I have gave up. I haven't. ITs quite the opposite. I am looking above and beyond and I KNOW what I am doing is worth it. The whole doing it the right way, never has worked, so Im not gonna sit here for another 20 years and wait to see if this is the year, as I believed so many times was IT, MY TIME, THE TIME it will work for me. .. Im gonna go about it back assward if that is how I have to defeat my obnoxious selfish sick brain.

[Nykee 13]

You really need to see a therapist. I went to counseling for 2 years so I can recommend it. You are not really being honest with yourself, you are just doing what you want and making excuses for it. We all (well most) have been there. Time to stop your behavior and get some help. Only you know if you really want to lose or why you are hanging on to the weight. Go find out what is going on.

Cheri

I went to counseling for probably 10 years total. I have been a part of dozens of support groups. I have taken specific therapy sessions. I have done all different kinds of

I also have a BS degree is Psy, with some work beyond that. (they dont offer financial aid for masters programs or I might of gone further) And used to council at women centers and Rape crisis, ect.. Myself..

You dont know me. You just cant handle real honestly when you see it. I assume.

I KNOW what is going on... I KNOW why I am fat... and KNOWING is not the key...

That is another thing I wont wait another 20 years for, WAITING to be Mentally fit enough to stop eating too much.

I been working on myself inside and out, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.... and I have failed. JUST LIKE everyone else here who might still be obese 20 years later.

Just because I cant get a hold of "whats eating me" doesnt mean I dont deserve to lose the fat.

[Nykee 13]

Here's a link to a post on my surgeon's forum from someone who is contemplating a different WLS after band removal. She was also non-compliant.

http://www.thinnerti...-contemplation/

Without compliance, success doesn't follow in the long run.

Thank you for the link. OF course I know what the RIGHT advice is.

Basically the right advice is, DO THE RIGHT THING .. OR... STAY the WAY you ARE. (and try to be happy with yourself)

BUt.. I am NOT WILLING to stay the way I am and be happy with it.... and I am PROVED to be Incapible of doing the right thing..

SO I AM Going to find a way to lose the weight.. whether its the right way or not. ANY WAY.. ANY WAY.. ANY WAY I can do it.. is what I am gonna do... I am just at such a desperate point, that I feel, when is it time to stop TRYING to do the right thing, .. and just do what will WORK. So far, THE ONLY THING THAT HAS EVER EVER EVER WORKED FOR ME, is having a really right band, that limited my intake of food. THAT IS THE ONLY THING that has worked... sooooooo, ya.. IM stupid and im selfish and im crazy, what ever. ALL I WANT TO DO IS LOSE THE WEIGHT. I figure the Gastric Bypass will allow even less food, drink, calories... into my body, and thus it will work!?

They say that people can stretch their stomachs out, but I dont do that, cuz when my body says you cant eat, I dont force it. I will only eat as much as the bypass allows me to, without discomfort. ahhh forget it.. I keep going on and on..

II do thank you for your help. tho.

oo

[Nykee 13]

Nykee,

The restriction with bypass is SO different from the band. My whole family is big (as am I) and most of my aunts and uncles have had gastric bypass and failed at it. The band actually provides for more restriction when speaking of the "eating" aspect. You can def eat around the bypass, stretch your stomach back (which is not healthy) and now you have less intestine, etc to boot. My uncle is a perfect example, at first he lost weight because of the initial discomfort when eating after the bypass but after he healed he went right back to eating the same and gained it all back and then some.

It is ok to get unfilled a little so you can eat more because you can't loose weight without eating enough calories, the body just won't allow it and you have to be eating healthier foods to provide the Protein that you need with it. I have not been banded yet (later this month) but there are people in my family who have had WLS and the doctors office I go through one has had gastric bypass and the other a band installed so I've hear many annectodal words of wisdom from both sides.

My personal decision was the band because I don't like the idea of re-routing and cutting out my insides not to mention the special Vitamins and the lack of absorption from having less instestine afterward..... it just wasn't the choice for me.

Hang tight! You can do it, you just need to start from scratch and get a little unfill, go back to shakes for a bit to calm everything down and get back on track..... someone else said in another post I read that that's the beauty of the band, its always there fore you when you get back on track!

Good luck to you!!!!

Faith

Thank you so much.. !!!!

I guess I was thinking of the gastric bypass like the band, like I would have permanent restriction... thank you for pointing out that is not true.

You also gave me the best idea I have heard.. A start from scratch thing. .. What if I go get an unfil with every intention of getting another fill, later. I can start over to find that sweet spot. I would have to deal with finding a good fill, the money it cost, figuring it all out. It would be like starting over. I would get gung ho again, and I would try to follow the rules.. and maybe I would actually succeed this time. who knows. BUT ITS WORTH TRYING.... this is the only thing that has ever made sense to me, as to a reason to go get an unfil..

I can tell my brain that I am being banded again or something. I can tell my kids, and they can help me, they do so much for me, but I sneak the junk, If this whole Journey was like REDO.... everyone would rally around me again..

THank you.. Im crying.. I know what I am gonna do. !! (when I get my tax refund, lol)

[Nykee 13]

SMDH if you want to eat Cookies and chocolate milk then you deserve to stay obese. Really???? you want advise here it is. I dont feel sorry for you because you said you will never follow the rules of wls so therefore you dont deserve any pity. If you are that tight but can eat Cookies then something is wrong in your head. If you cant eat real food then you cant eat cookies. Im sorry but you do not deserve pity you deserve a good talking to from your doctor and see if he agrees that if you can eat cookies you can eat food.< /p>

What are you talking about? If I can eat cookies than I can eat real food.

Cookies crumble into almost nothingness.... and chips. And slip thru the band.

DUH

[Ponderer 14]

Gosh....what makes me think you don't do the right thing? You literally asked me that question in your response to my post.

And I quote you...

"So.. Obviously, in order for me to lose more weight. I need to STOP drinking the chocolate milk. STOP eating the Cookies and chips.

I know everything i can have instead. I know exactly what to do. JUST WONT DO IT. For 20 years I wouldn't do it, and still.. humm I WONT DO IT. " Gee, this might have been my first clue that you don't do the right thing.

And as far as comparing yourself to me and talking about how I must not always have done the right thing and obviously have the weight to lose or I would not be here....that is absolutely correct but I certainly don't come here and whine about how I know I will not do the right thing so can you all help me figure out a way not to have to. I think it is time for you to pull your head out, put your big girl panties on and deal with it!! You will not get out of the sacrifice and doing the work to reach your goals....none of us do. DUH.

This situation is so beyond pathetic...ugly....and selfish...that I am going to do myself a favor and unsubscribe to this thread. I am here to learn, get support and give support to those that want and need it. You obviously don't no matter what you say. Your list of excuses and responses to those encouraging you to do the right thing clearly shows that. Take care.

[Noturningback15 45]

If you have a rehab hospital in your area they usually have a gym in there and they can show you exercises for a person with your condition. I workout in the gym at my local rehab hospital and they are always helping people with disabilities.

\

Thank you and I wish I could do more like that.. i have lumbar disc disease with stenosis. Sometimes I cant get out of bed.

BUt your right. The only time I could ever lose weight it the past, is when I incorporated exersize

[Cocoabean 430]

Thank you for the link. OF course I know what the RIGHT advice is.

Basically the right advice is, DO THE RIGHT THING .. OR... STAY the WAY you ARE. (and try to be happy with yourself)

BUt.. I am NOT WILLING to stay the way I am and be happy with it.... and I am PROVED to be Incapible of doing the right thing..

SO I AM Going to find a way to lose the weight.. whether its the right way or not. ANY WAY.. ANY WAY.. ANY WAY I can do it.. is what I am gonna do... I am just at such a desperate point, that I feel, when is it time to stop TRYING to do the right thing, .. and just do what will WORK. So far, THE ONLY THING THAT HAS EVER EVER EVER WORKED FOR ME, is having a really right band, that limited my intake of food. THAT IS THE ONLY THING that has worked... sooooooo, ya.. IM stupid and im selfish and im crazy, what ever. ALL I WANT TO DO IS LOSE THE WEIGHT. I figure the Gastric Bypass will allow even less food, drink, calories... into my body, and thus it will work!?

They say that people can stretch their stomachs out, but I dont do that, cuz when my body says you cant eat, I dont force it. I will only eat as much as the bypass allows me to, without discomfort. ahhh forget it.. I keep going on and on..

II do thank you for your help. tho.

oo

Gastric bypass will still allow food and drinks and calories into your body. Unless you are in the 30% that experiences dumping syndrome after eating sugar, the Cookies and chocolate milk will continue to go down just fine.

I DO believe you want to lose the weight.

ANY weight loss surgery is not going to provide what you are looking for. We cannot eat and drink high calorie, high fat, high sugar/low nutrient foods and especially drinks with calories and sugar and expect to lose weight.

You might look into a duodenal switch. That provides the most malabsorption. But if you are honest with a surgeon about your lack of compliance, I am not sure they will be willing to perform surgery on you. Mine would not be, I don't think.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Cookies crumble in your mouth DUH. You have issues really you do. If you can eat cookies which are dry as hell then you can eat some chicken or something. You dont want to and you dont or you would have. It is obvious that you find excuses for every thing that anyone has told you to do. I have back issues also but excersise 4 times a week and lift weights you really need to stop making excuses and either do it or just eat your cookies and chocolate milk.

[123crod 170]

I really do not think this person is real. Nobody could really be like that. Somebody is having fun I think. It is too much for my brain to handle.

Cheri

[mattie7632 24]

Wow there is a lot of insanity on this thread.

I think you need an un-fill. I'm still somewhat newly banded, but my last fill has shown me the difference between just about there and too full--now I'm eating foods like -- Cookies and milk -- because they are easier to go down. It was MUCH EASIER to eat the right foods for weight loss with a little less. I think you are 1. eating "slider" foods with no fat burning properties or nutrition and 2. storing fat, both of which will keep you at your current weight, right?

Perhaps you should join a support group or individual counseling to learn a more healthy approach to eating and your body and dieting. It sounds like what you are doing is and will continue to be, destructive and harmful to your health--

[elcee 3,343]

When someone finds the answer please let me know too. I also want to be able to eat Cookies, chocolate,cake etc without putting on weight. I don't want to exercise and I don't want to take responsibility for what I put in my mouth - that's too hard.

I'm looking for a magic wand - maybe I should go to Ollivanders?

Please don't tell me there isn't one. I can't lose weight by making healthy choices the same way everyone else has to. There has to be a surgery that makes it possible to do things my way. I'm happy to do what it takes - if not the lapband,then a bypass, sleeve or whatever so long as it doesn't involve me having to do the work!