Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Sort of got my feelings hurt...



Recommended Posts

There's a girl in one of my classes that I have a lot in common with. We've hit it off great and the professor put us in a group together for a class project. We were talking the other day and she's like I've lost 100 pounds. I had gastric bypass. So I admitted that I've had Lap Band.

She basically rolled her eyes at me. She asked me how I ever weighed enough to have surgery, then she told me she started out at 350 pounds. She acted like it was only acceptable to do weight loss surgery if your 300 to 350 pounds to start with.

Now I don't feel like telling her anything else. I think she thinks I took the easy way out and I'm not sure why. She's obviously dealt with the same struggles that I have.

Why do I even let this stuff bother me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not sure why someone who had a bypass would think a band was the 'easy way out' since many would consider bypass far easier than the band. Bypass patients start losing from the day of surgery and are expected to lose about 2/3 of their excess weight just from the surgery. We all know the band does not work nearly that 'easily'. Sounds more like she takes some kind of personal pride in her accomplishment because she had so much to lose. I'd just ignore her.

.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dont want to make anyone mad, but with the bypass you tend to lose automatically because they have taken away part of your stomach and you really cant eat that much. I know that it stretches eventually after a couple of years and then you will eat more. But you lose alot upfront.

With the band you have to work alot harder because all you have is restriction, but there are tons of foods that will go through that and make it to your other part of the stomach.

You have to work alot harder with the band as far as willpower.

If you are obese and have trouble getting the weight off then anything you can do to take care of it and KEEP it off is a good thing, no mater if you are 30 bmi or 80 bmi. That is why they created the band isnt it, as an alternative to bybass for people that need help that may not have a really high bmi. That is why they lowered the threshold to 30 bmi per the FDA.

Anyway, just ignore her. Either one that a person chooses is a choice that they make to make their life healthier. Keep up the good work.:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

me again :lol: I have a relatively low BMI. around 36. But I could care less what anyone says about me doing it or why I am doing it. My doctor said I would do well with it and it is my body and I am going to rock it (soon).

She's just jelous because your's was cheaper and less painful. LOL :lol:

JK if you are a bypass person. I really dont mean any harm.:rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've gotten a LOT of flack from bypass patients about my band choice...just ignore her snotty butt lol and tell her you have to work VERY hard because you went with the option that doesn't remove your gut to cheat the food you put in your mouth. (sorry)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well - I'm not as nice as most of you. LOL

I'd say something like, "Well, at least I won't look like a deflated balloon when I'm finished losing weight."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG, toooo funny!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well - I'm not as nice as most of you. LOL

I'd say something like, "Well, at least I won't look like a deflated balloon when I'm finished losing weight."

^^:rolleyes:^^ Nice!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ah don't worry! The band isn't built to lose hundreds of pounds. You are in the proper weight range for it. (judging by your ticker)

What is she bragging she weighed more before she took control? That isn't an accomplishment... yea the band is an easier option, but cutting up your insides isn't an option or practical for everyone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So basically, you were not "fat" enogh in her opinoin?! Would she rather you waited until you had 200# to lose like her? She is entitled to her views as are you. Some things are best not discussed with some people and I'd stay away from the weight loss/surgery topic with her!

As my mother used to say, "to each his own."

You are doing great and don't let her spoil your mood!

Joan

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People are unbelievable! A girl in my office (no one in my office knows I had the surgery) made a comment that the band doesn't work and that if she were to have WLS, that she would get Gastric Bypass because "that's the one that really works".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jealousy.....jealousy. We women are interesting aren't we? Now we compete to see who was fatter? Who was more deserving? I would call her on it.

On a similar note, I wrote on my blog yesterday about a women at my gym who came up to me and asked me how the heck I was losing so much weight, and I wrote that I was tempted to say, I eat very little and work out a lot. But I couldn't bring myself to not tell her the whole story. ONLY BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT HER TO FEEL LIKE SHE SUCKED at dieting. I wanted her to know that I had some ADDITIONAL help - and not to feel discouraged.

We are supposed to support and cheerlead eachother. It's not a competition.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone about my surgery if it comes up about my losing weight. I also thought about hiding it but I don't want anyone to find out I was banded and then think I was a liar or "took the easy way out". Like it's been sooooo easy. I just say to them I've been dieting really hard, lots of liquid dieting but I haven't been that hungry because I got banded. I'm proud of it. Proud of the fact that I realized I was headed for 300lbs if I didn't do something now. If someone brings me down like that I consider them toxic in my life and move on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone about my surgery if it comes up about my losing weight. I also thought about hiding it but I don't want anyone to find out I was banded and then think I was a liar or "took the easy way out". Like it's been sooooo easy. I just say to them I've been dieting really hard, lots of liquid dieting but I haven't been that hungry because I got banded. I'm proud of it. Proud of the fact that I realized I was headed for 300lbs if I didn't do something now. If someone brings me down like that I consider them toxic in my life and move on.

Before I got banded, I was like NO WAY am I telling anyone. Once I did it, I was like WAIT, this is not the easy way out - WE ARE BRAVE PEOPLE. And I like how you put it.... we do the eating, the band controls the hunger. Nice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i'm finding that there are those (not everyone) who have had WLS are defenders that their way is the only way and all other types of WLS is wrong! Heatherinca stated it best....to each his/her own.... What is right for one is not right for another. We as advocates for our own bodies and psyches choose which WLS is best for us as individuals and it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Whether you are 80 lbs or 280lbs over weight it matters how you feel about yourself and as long as it is appropriate and the method that you participate in is your choice is the only thing that counts. imho....

Sometimes people cannot focus on the bigger picture that what should be celebrated is that both of you are doing something that is positive and will be rewarding in the long run. Don't let her get you down, it is sad that she is in school to further her education, perhaps learn that the world is not as black and white as she has previously been led to believe only to be trapped in her own narrow minded world....With that I am almost done with my own snarkiness!

Mrs Cabes " look like a deflated balloon" too funny! LOL you have made my day!

I am now done with being snarky!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×