Are you open about being banded or

[mom2amwt 3]

I didn't plan on telling people, nor did I plan on hiding it. However, my husband told his mother who proceeded to tell everyone else in the family, both here and in France.

Talk to people who don't struggle with their weight or who successfully take excess weight off and keep it off and you will (most likely) find they've never struggled with constant, unrelenting 'hunger'. When they eat, they're satisfied until their next meal. Their extra pounds can be attributed to not being active or splurging a bit too much on their favorite food...not out of hunger but just because it tastes good.

I could eat enough for 3 people and 10 minutes after a meal, I'd be physically hungry again. Now, I eat my 3 oz of Protein, 1/2 cup of vegies and 1/4 cup of rice, Beans or potatoes and I'm not hungry for at least 4 hours.

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Elfie - I've heard a lot of professionals talk about physical vs emotional hunger. I definitely have had both , but I would eat way beyond my physical hunger most times to get that "good" feeling.

I guess you are talking about physical hunger. How do you deal with the emotional bits? thx

[Bellanicole 1]

Soooo glad to see Im not the only one.. very few ppl know, but Im not sure what im going to tell ppl once they start noticing, but i dont like to lie.... A very few ppl know but it my town it probably wont take long for others to find out... I was told by another banster that once I start losing i will be to excited to keep it a secret and will want to tell the world and there should be no shame... We shall seee.... Good luck to you all

[amber2604 4]

I'm not open about it. I don't know why. I guess it feels like "giving in" even though this has been the toughest "diet" I've ever been on. I told my mom, my fiance, and my brother. Those are the only people who know (that I know of). My brother keeps asking me why won't I just tell everyone, that it's nothing to be ashamed of and no one will say anything. I know that they won't really say anything to me, but I don't want the judgmental looks or talking behind my back etc. I have a very vocal family (on both sides) and I'm sure they would have something to say. I know that I can't just keep saying "oh, I'm dieting and drinking water" forever. Both of those are true, but why this time am I going to be able to lose SO much more than previous times and actually keep it off this time? I have a good excuse right now, because everyone thinks I'm just mega dieting for my wedding in June. That's true too. I'm sure in time when I get comfortable I will tell, but for now, it's my dirty little secret!

[vickyd 24]

I have only told the few people I felt I had to tell - my husband, sons, mother and mother-in-law. Initially, I had only planned to tell my husband but my mother-in-law came to visit while I was on my pre-op diet and I realized that I had to tell her because she would have wondered why I wasn't eating...and since I told her, I had to tell my mother (she would have had hurt feelings otherwise). The only thing I feel guilty about is not telling my dad - I have asked my mom to keep it a secret from him because he is just one of those people who is open with everything and it would be impossible to get him to keep it to himself. I have other family members I would have liked to tell but there is a part of my family who is VERY judgemental and since I didn't want them to know (I just don't want to deal with the drama it would cause) then I decided to just not tell anyone.

I live in another state than the majority of my family so none of them have seen me since the surgery. It will be very interesting to see what they think (and say) when I do see them...

[Dreamingof139 3]

This is the post Ive been looking for thanks. I havn't been banded yet but I don't plan on telling alot of people, especially co workers. I work in a call center and we all know how that goes. Anyway so far Ive told just my immediately family(mother brother and aunt and 3 close friends) 2 out of the 6 think its a good ideal my auntie had no comment and the other 2 are completely against it. Going forward I will tell no one else which is really had because its something I want to openly talk about, but now that I 've this forum I can talk to you guys . In the meantime If I'm banded I guess I have to make up some lie. I've already joined a gym and last week started eating better so some people will already see my efforts.

I do not think that we have to lie. If people ask how I am losing weight, I can very honestly answer that I am watching my portions and working to get 80-120 grams of Protein in each day. I also play racquetball with my hubby.

I feel strongly that this is no ones business - and I also do not intend to lie. If someone asks me point blank if I had surgery, I will not lie, but may tell them that I prefer to keep my medical issues private.

[Jennim89 0]

I struggled with what to do. At first I didn't want anyone knowing. My mom knew, but that was it. As the process got going, I started to tell just very close family. My boyfriend and best friend and that was it. I wanted it to stay that way. I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed of my decision, I just knew it was what I wanted and didn't want to deal the people passing judgements or thinking I was taking the 'easy' way out. Little did I know...this is NOT the easy way out!

No one knew I had surgery, I bounced back quickly and it was easy to hide. I had dodged the "lets go out to eat" or "lets grab a drink" initially with no problem, saying I was on a diet and didn't want to spend the money. Now, three weeks post op, its getting harder and harder to keep dodging the questions, especially now that I'm noticeably losing weight. Last night, my boyfriend said to me that he thinks people are becoming suspicious about what is going on...so, he said it best. If they straight out ask, then there is no reason to lie, just tell them, But if they don't inquire, they don't need to know. I still believe it's really no ones business, but this is a life long thing and I don't think it'll be easy to hide forever. It's something I've struggled with every day since I've started this journey and come very close to telling many people. Hopefully, when it does come up, people will be supportive, I don't need to be judged.

[forabetterlife 3]

I tell everyone and anyone who wants to hear it lol I love telling people and I have even encouraged a few over weight women to have the surgery done as well. I feel like I am inspiring people by telling them.

[ElfiePoo 109]

Elfie - I've heard a lot of professionals talk about physical vs emotional hunger. I definitely have had both , but I would eat way beyond my physical hunger most times to get that "good" feeling.

I guess you are talking about physical hunger. How do you deal with the emotional bits? thx

To be honest, I don't think I've ever gone to food for 'comfort'. The worst times for me are riding in a car, reading or watching tv. It's almost like my hands aren't occupied enough and need something to do. So now I try to keep my hands busy. On road trips I take my needlepoint (my husband prefers to drive). At night I work on my photo albums or quilting. I've found that has helped the most with the 'habitual' eating.

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[fergie215 0]

I told everybody that cared for me. Some of them tried to talk me out of the surgery, but I told them this is my body and they don't live in it. I asked them to just support me and my decision to get healthier. Rather I cheated or not I'm happy with my decision, and now I'm taking it one day at a time!

[JerseyGirl80 12]

I was excited in the beginning so I told a lot more people. I don't feel ashamed about it because I understand what the procedure is, and I understand my problem with food and my other medical problems. Unlike most people, I know I can't just "put the fork down and work out" I need more than that. Having this surgery actually makes me feel better about being fat, because I know I'm doing something about it. It's more embarrassing for me to just sit there being fat and making no attempt to better myself.

Now I pick and choose who I tell and who I talk about it with. I've heard a lot of negative things from people that just don't understand what struggling with weight is like. So I don't waste my time explaining myself to ignorant people. I've also heard a lot of positive things. But then there are people like my family, who have just acted like I was telling them about the weather, they'd just brush it off continue talking about themselves as if I've said nothing. So now I'm careful, I talk to my boyfriend, his family (his mom and sister are WLS patients, his mom has the band, his sister the bypass) and I talk to a few close friends about it. And down the road, if anyone asks about it I'll tell them, but until then, those who already know are the only ones that need to know.

[Dreamingof139 3]

To be honest, I don't think I've ever gone to food for 'comfort'. The worst times for me are riding in a car, reading or watching tv. It's almost like my hands aren't occupied enough and need something to do. So now I try to keep my hands busy. On road trips I take my needlepoint (my husband prefers to drive). At night I work on my photo albums or quilting. I've found that has helped the most with the 'habitual' eating.

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Crocheting has really helped me to not eat without thinking. I enjoy making things for people and 99% of the time they are appreciated.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

In the beginning I wasnt telling anyone! But that was short lived as my hubby mentioned to numerous people that I was having "surgery" in December and that we were taking a trip the weekend before my pre op diet to indulge for the last time!

At first I was mortified but now the people who have been told and the others who found out through the grapevine have been amazingly supportive... lately I am getting questions like... Are you eating regular fods yet? How much have you lost? How are you feeling? When can you have a cocktail again? LOL

I don't openly broadcast my band. Only 2 people at work know as far as I can tell. I am not one for discussing my personal life at work, but if I am asked I have no problem discussing it... and when people ask why did you take such drastic measures? I explain that I am doing this as a way to not just lose weight but to lose and maintain my weight! That seems to end any discussion and usually results in a "good for you".

[collins33 2]

It's crazy how it could get out of hand when you start telling people about what you plan to do with "your" body. I first looked into the band in March 2010. I've failed at many diets. I've told a couple of my family members on me "thinking" about the option and they seem to be pleased about it but I know once I tell them that I had finally "did it" they will have a different opinion about it. So as of right now only my boyfriend and one close friend knows about me getting the band....and everyone on this site....lol I really don't plan to tell anyone else even when I reached my goal.

[mckreegar 0]

Completely open. Firstly, I couldnt possibly have surgery without my family realising it, even if I wanted to. Secondly, your eating changes dramatically, and there ARE times when you get stuck, and if your'e at the dinner table and sliming its hard to hide, not the least becuase my voice goes all weird and you can hear that there's saliva in my throat!

But mainly, I told everyone else becuase I remember how I felt on one of those rare occasions when you ran into someone you knew who'd lost a lot of weight and looked fantastic. I felt sooooo down on myself, what was wrong with me? Why couldnt I do that? I would absolutely hate for anyone to think that I'm some sort of superhuman dynamo who has more willpower and drive than anyone else, that I could lose 52kg on my own. Truth is, I'm realising I actually AM a very strong and driven person and I've not given myself the credit I deserve, my band being unfilled now I've come to realise that it was actually ME doing 80% of the hard work, not my band. But the point is, I feel bound to let people know that there is help out there, that I had help and that I'm not all together and in control whilst they're hopeless, lacking willpower and discipline.

I dont feel like walking up to other fat people and sharing my experiences uninvited, but I dont hide that I'm banded. I also found when I started work again this year that I copped heaps of ribbing over my small meals, my slow eating, people do notice it. So I told the truth.

That's not to say I dont hide some things. DH bought me a stunning lab diamond, must be 2.5 carats, I absolutely dont mind people thinking that I'm wearing a $25,000 ring, loll!

I so agree with your point of view...I tell everyone because I always beat myself up when someone says they lose weight by just "eating right and exercising". And I have had a couple people say I was doing it the easy way and I just explain that I've never in my life though so much about every bite of food that I put in my mouth and that the band is a tool to help me with Portion Control.< /p>