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Keep the "fat" comments coming.....



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Ok, so I have grandparents that have made comments about my weight for years. Each time I had one of my children, my grandfather would always ask, "Are you sure they didn't leave one in there?" He even said this when I lost a baby when I was 36 weeks pregnant.

For Christmas Eve, I had my dad and grandparents over for Breakfast. I was hot from cooking all of the food. So, I turned the fan on in my living room. My grandmother says, "Turn that fan off. Not everyone here has as much fat on them as you!"

Today, she calls to check on us since we have had a big snow storm here. She asked me how I was feeling and how much weight I have lost. I told her I didn't have a scale at home. She says, "Yeah, they wouldn't weigh someone of your size anyways." SERIOUSLY!!Needless to say, my grandmother probably weighs 250 lbs. So, it is not as if she has any room to speak this way to me.

All I can say is to keep the fat comments coming. I'm going to use her negativity as encouragement for my weight loss!!

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Congratulations on your loss. Sometimes family members can be just as bitter and evil or worse than strangers. Keep your head up and let their comments slide off your back. because you will have the last laugh when the joke is on them.

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Sounds like Grandma is pushing some of her own insecurities off onto you....Keep you head up I have been in the same boat having a brother and 3 sisters that are all pretty much a size 6 and below when I weigh in at 276lbs. Good luck to you on your journey....next time act surprised "A FAT JOKE REALLY IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?"

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WOW! I am just ... WOW! Can't believe that "grandparents" would be so insensitive ... just threw me for a loop. But, hey ... we can't pick our family, can we? LOL I am sorry that they think it is okay to say these things to you. What on earth will they have to talk about when you are a size 8?

All I can say is: Living well and being thin is the BEST revenge!

Congratulations and continued success! You are well on your well!

~Fran

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Are your parents still around? I'm sorry but I can't imagine a parent letting someone to abuse their children. What you are discribing is abuse. I know you are an adult but you are still your parent's child.

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Are your parents still around? I'm sorry but I can't imagine a parent letting someone to abuse their children. What you are discribing is abuse. I know you are an adult but you are still your parent's child.

This is my dad's parents. My mother passed away in August 2010. She would always defend me to them and put them in their place. I think my dad doesn't know what to say or how to say it.

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I really can't believe how rude ppl can be, especially your own family. I almost wish you wouldn't have told them of your surgery. You should have let them see the pounds melting off and wonder what you were doing. They would have been sooo jealous!! But either way, you will definitely have the last laugh. Keep up the good work!! Don't let that stuff bring you down!

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What a great and positive attitude you have! I understand how it feels like to be put down about weight issues, but look at you and how well you are doing! Yay for you! Soon they will be eating their own words! Congratulations again and you have fantastic attitude!

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Wow I cant believe a grandparent would say that. People can be so evil, even family! So sad, but now you will be losing weight and she will still be miserable and jealous :) I can't believe she would say that. It hurts, I know because in the past I have had my aunt say some nasty things to me but now she is happy for me and can't wait to show her my body in a couple of months! Think positive!

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I can't believe what some people think is ok to say. I am glad your not letting it discourage you. However, I think it's something you should get out in the open. Let them know their comments hurt your feelings. I don't think it's ok to let them get away with what they are saying. It is abuse in my book.

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<br />This is my dad's parents. My mother passed away in August 2010. She would always defend me to them and put them in their place. I think my dad doesn't know what to say or how to say it.<br />
<br /><br /><br />

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I lost my father at a young age and it is very difficult. I know it's stereotypical but I'm not shocked that your father would have trouble verbalizing to his mother that he does'nt like the way they speak to you. Some people may disagree but I think when they make a hurtful comments that you should call them on it. You have rights as a person and their being your elders does'nt give them the right to ignore that.

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I once reminded my grandmother that I was old enough to decide if I liked her or if I wanted to see her....i will always love get but she said some things that hurt my feelings once and after I called her on it she "filters" her opinions alot better. I'm sorry that she says those things but good for.you for channeling that negativity into something so positive....keep on letting it fuel your fire!

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I'm so sorry that you have to hear those things but it's great that you have such a positive attitude. Sometimes family can be more cruel than strangers. My sister could pass for a Kim Basinger look alike. When we go to family reunions I always hear, "Why Pamela, you're just as beautiful as ever! Lisa, I have not seen you in forever. " What the heck?! I have left more than one reunion in tears. Congrats on your success!:D

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I agree with VLP. This is something you should get out into the open. Have a civilized discussion (not a heated emotional one) about how this makes you feel. There is nothing wrong with feelings--they are neither good nor bad but just are. However, if you allow these feeling to go unaddressed, they fester and make you unhappy. There is nothing wrong with telling ignorant people about how their behavior is affecting you. In fact, it may help you in determining if you want to be involved with these people anymore. Just because they are family does not mean you have to put up with their abuse. Think long and hard about whether you want them in your life or not. Do they bring anything positive to your life? Because if not, I would tell them goodbye.

I too had a Grandmother like this. I have struggled with my weight all my life. I remember being 12 and vacationing in FL with my parents and my Grandparents were living in FL for the winter. I wanted to go swimming so I changed into a swim suit. My grandmom saw me and said to my mother "you're going to let her go out in public like that--in a swim suit?" I will never forget that humiliation. And it kept up through the years and I finally did what someone above said--I told her if she could not treat me with respect and acknowledge that I was a unique individual that thought different from her, believed differently, and simply wanted her to treat me with respect and if she could not do that, I would not visit again. She would not agree and I never saw her again. I can not allow that kind of toxic person in my life--I don't need their criticism and abuse and because she was my Grandmom did not excuse her behavior. She delighted in terrorising me and I finally decided to cut her out of my life. I have never been sorry for that--even after she died. I needed to live my life for me.

My Mom wasn't that bad, but close. We had a scale in our kitchen and had bi-weekely weigh ins. 700-900 calorie diet all during my teenage years. Because of that, I snuck food and ate away my pain. I was never accepted by my Mom because of my weight. Eventually, after I spoke with her as an adult, I told her how she hurt me and she never did anything like that again. She was very supportitive of my surgery and has been wonderful throughout the past year. But I had to have a painful conversation to make this happen.

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I'd give Gramma and Grandpa a "come to Jesus" with the fat comments. You need love love love from them. I don't care their "reasons". Grandpa's can be boneheads, Granma's were young women once and may not be happy about their change into elders..You have the power to stop it. Talk to em, then later when they slip (and they will) correct them again and then change the subject, has to be something else to talk about than the #s on a scale.< /p>

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      1. summerseeker

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