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Going out to eat with family gets easier in time Right



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I went with my husband to eat catfish.I got to use my card for child size portions.I got my plate and there was a piece of grilled fish( tiny) and Beans they let me have beans because I could not eat the fries . He is sitting there with four pieces of fried catfish, beans, hush puppies and french fries.So I looked at my plate and then his and I gripped him out for not ordering a baked potatoe instead of french fries so we could share it. I almost cried. Im so bad.It was alot harder than I thought.I tried to explain how hard it is and I told him I am not ready for this yet. Lets wait a while before we do it again.He understood I hope.

I feel bad for being such a B.

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I'm so sorry....you're not a "B"!! You're adjusting to a new lifestyle and you tried and simply need more time. I'm sure your hubby understands completely and I hope that he is there for you and supports you. Isn't it amazing how much we get emotionally from sitting there and eating lots and lots of food...and it is so hard to just stop and eat to take care of our stomach, the band and our health.

I'll be banded next week and I'm trying to understand how I would have felt in your position, and my question is when the waiter brought the plates and yours was so much smaller, did that make you feel like your hubby's was a big beautiful plate of food and that you only deserved the tiny morsel? Because if that is how the whole situation made you feel, I would just order the regular meal and take a doggy bag. Is that too simplistic?

Kim

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Eating out does take time, yes. As I've mentioned before, one of the hardest things to me about being banded was learning when a meal was OVER. As hard as that is at home, it's made all the harder when we're trapped in a restaurant with other people enjoying an outsize meal.

But it gets easier and easier. In the meantime, be sure to order Soup and chili, things like that, and remember that one meal can probably now feed both of you. Think of all the money you'll save! :D

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I think it is very hard to change our eating habits, but at lest the band helps us to do that. And you are NOT a "B" its hard and you will get thourgh it. and I know your hubby understands. Before I had my leak, I would either order my own big plate and take what I didnt eat home to make more meals with it, or I would simply take bites off my hubby's plate.. we would order something we both liked.

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For me, sometimes this is easy and sometimes I struggle with it. Last night I made my husband a big birthday dinner. Then I sat there and scowled at him while he ate a huge plateful of food, lol. I took too much food, and he made a joking comment about how I'd never be able to eat it all. I just growled "I'm NOT leaving this table until my plate is empty!".

Fortunately, he knows to just laugh me off. I was laughing too when I left the table later (most of my food was still there).

As for eating out, I always order Soup and hot tea first. It gives me something to sip on while others are eating. It can be a mental struggle, but the rewards are totally worth it! :D

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LMAO Now I know what to do. I'm going to eat the same meal she eats then sneak off to my food stash and satisfy myself. Between the band and pre-menopause I won't stand a chance....hehehe

Slenda, just do what I heard about the other day, get up and leave the table. He'll get the hint.

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What I found is that I was looking at all the other diners, and how much they were consuming...MASSIVE QUANTITIES... and then I realized, I used to eat more than most. Look at how they fit uncomfortable in the booth, and how uncomfortable they will be the rest of the evening...then think how good you feel, how you fit better than ever in the booth, and that you'll feel great all evening!

First time we went out, I noticed that my 4 year old could eat 4x as much as me. Take the extra home, eat slow and savor the flavors.

It will get easier with time, I promise.

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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