Rambling post... various whining... :)

[sparkle 0]

Well, I got my third fill on Monday. I am up to 2.5cc's and FINALLY feel some restriction. Although, truthfully, I think I still need more. I have only lost about 18lbs since the surgery (3 months ago) and boy I am feeling discouraged. Anyone else have to have so many fills before getting adequately restricted?

You know the psychological element of this whole thing plays such a role with me. I am so flipping performance oriented, and a perfectionist! I realize that I am scared to go home for Christmas, because I don't want to hear my mother say... "Gee... I thought you would have lost more by now." (Before I got the surgery, one of her friends who wants to have RNY, spent a considerable amount of time convincing my mom that Lap-Band's don't work!) Ugghhh... I am thinking of doing Atkins for the next week to convince her. Good Lord.... see what I mean about being screwed up in the head about this?

Ok... enough whining! On a positive note....

Last weekend I bought one of those Gazelle excercise machines so I don't have to be trudging around in the snow. It's really ideal for me, because of the low impact. It's quite fun, so I am hoping the added excercise will help speed up the weight loss!

Also, even with only losing 18, I am already down a dress size. I was a 26, now the 24's are very loose. All I want for Christmas is for my cherry red size 22 skirt to fit.

Anyway... enough blathering on. Happy Holidays everyone!

255/237/150

[donali 57]

Hi Sparkle -

I know it is so hard to manage our own expectations, let alone other people's, as well, particularly those we expect to judge us.

If you are absolutely convinced that this is the answer for you, then no one can make you feel as though you made a mistake, and you do not need to justify your choices to anyone but yourself.

Regardless of how long it takes you to lose the weight you want to lose, just losing weight in and of itself is a success - don't forget that!

Does it really matter that it took me 11 months to lose 71 pounds? I don't think so - I'm still down 71 pounds. So I won't be one of those who lost 120 in their first year. Does that really matter? Nope. All that matters is that I'm happy, healthy, and losing (albeit however slowly).

If I could chose between having lost 71 and 120, would I choose 120? You bet!! I'm only human, after all! lol But I feel successful, even though I would have dearly loved to be under 200 by the time boyfriend arrives 1/2. Was that a realistic goal? Yes. Does it matter that I didn't meet it? No. Am I disappointed? Not really. But I had to change my mindset. Since this is my life, I no longer set date goals. I choose to think of myself as "successful" right now! Am I done? Not by a long shot, but I am on the journey, and that's all that matters.

I wish you a happy and joyous holiday season! Enjoy yourself, and congrats on starting your journey!!!

[Graceful One 4]

Sparkle,

Have you been recording your measurements? It is very possible that your not losing weight but inches.

Try doing that each month. I've noticed when the scale stays the same the inches are going down.

[shellyj 5]

Well, I got my third fill on Monday. I am up to 2.5cc's and FINALLY feel some restriction. Although, truthfully, I think I still need more. I have only lost about 18lbs since the surgery (3 months ago) and boy I am feeling discouraged. Anyone else have to have so many fills before getting adequately restricted?

YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES!! lol i have had like 8 or nine fills!!!! i to finally have restricition!! WOOOHOO for us late bloomers!!!! i have lost slower than some/most but i am not keeping tabs on anyone but myself!

i think what donali said is right on!!! (it always is)

if your mom wants to 'band bash' just smile and listen to her (moms like to be right) but YOU let it go in one ear and out the other! its not worth it to try to 'convince' her you did whats right for you. its your decision and while she should support you~ what people should do and what they actually do are 2 different things!

[shellyj 5]

oh by the way dont be afraid to tell your dr you need MORE!!! i feel like a fill junkie! i am now at 3.8cc but it sure is 'sweet' eating 1/3 piece of chicken and a few green Beans for lunch and being pleasantly full!

[sparkle 0]

Shelly- LOL! Haha! You did indeed make me feel better. Wow - nine fills. Sounds like your doc is probably very conservative with the fill amount. Mine too obviously. I called the doctors office today, and I was shocked that they are going to let me come back in two weeks for an additional fill. I do have a question though. With this fill... I do feel some restriction. Basically, I just have to make sure to eat slowly or the golf ball emerges. However, I still can eat in much larger quantities than 1/2 cup. Shoot, I can still eat way more than a full cup, but just slower than previously. I "think" that means I still need more restriction, right? The goal should be 1/2 - 1 cup to feel "full"? Your comment of 1/3 piece of chicken and some green Beans sounds fantastic!

Donali- A voice of reason in this little community. It's funny, though I don't post often, I do read most everything. About a week ago I was talking to my mom on the phone, and she was saying how she had to give up chocolate because she just had no control over it. (she also struggles with her weight) So anyway, I was basically summing up to her a post I had seen from you a while back about cake, and not letting it rule you. Giving yourself permission to eat cake whenever you were hungry, if that's what you wanted. So basically, cake didn't have this obsessive type thing for you. ( gee- i sure hope it was you who posted that) Anyway, your good advice and positive outlook makes a difference. As far as her judgement on my success or failure, I will just have to FORCE myself to not be defensive and read more into her comments than are really there. Lord knows I have been known to overreact to critcism.

Jenn- You know I SHOULD have measured when I got the surgery. I know everyone said to, but I just didn't. I think I didn't really want to know? But fitted skirts don't lie! I can take them off without unzipping/unbuttoning!

[donali 57]

Yum... cake... yeah, that was me...

I just want to make a comment on this food amount goal that it seems many people have, as I have read it on many boards:

The goal should be 1/2 - 1 cup to feel "full"?

I have no idea where that came from, and something deep, deep inside me rebels against this thinking. Since when is a measurement of food the "right" amount across the board for everyone?

I personally think this should be the goal of the fill: To be satisfied for 3 to 4 hours on the amount of food I require to lose weight. I do not judge my fill by how much I can eat, but "can I lose weight without feeling hungry on the amount that I eat?"

I hear of people getting ever more restricted, because they are not losing weight. I think they are probably eating TOO LITTLE when they can only eat 2-3 bites and then "they're done." We have been SO brainwashed into thinking that "if it's not drastic, we are not trying hard enough." Being so restricted that we can only eat 2-3 bites is just another sneaky way we have devised to punish ourselves for our food addiction.

I do not know the magic answer, but I WANT to believe that we should be eating the number of calories our basal metabolism requires. The reasoning behind that just makes sense to me. And back in my dieting days I did a program that was based on removing all refined foods, eating til full, and exercising (walking) faithfully for 30-60 minutes a day. I was losing weight! And I was eating a TON of food. But, of course, I wasn't losing fast, and it just wasn't "drastic" enough or "short term" enough for me to keep it up.

Just "food" for thought...

[GeezerSue 7]

So glad you're here whining; I hate being the only whiner.

Sue

[claraluz 2]

Sparkle,

I didn't have any restriction until my third fill. In addition, as some here know, I am struggling and have found a lot of ways to sabotage my progress - mostly by eating sweets and eating around the band. Consequently, I have "only" lost 30 pounds in four months - much less than most. But much more than I had lost in the past five years of a diet and binge cycle. When I look at it that way, I don't feel so discouraged.

It's hard to realize that FINALLY this really is for life. But when you do, the "10 punds by Christmas" syndrome loses some of it's pull. I think if we get the proper restriction (no matter how many fills it takes) and do the best we can each day, trusting that we will get better at this the more practice we get. . .we will get there.

Nancy