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Discouraging friends anyone?



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So glad to read all these stories. I too told waaaaay too many people. Most reactions have been positive. Some, not so much. Even before thinking about this surgery there was a band of women at work who felt they had the right to tell me about my weight. Now, as I am still morbidly obese, I talk back. Told one I would be happy to give her my surgeon's name. She herself is at least 50 lbs. overweight.

My Best Friend joined WW the week I was banded. She stopped going about a month later. Sadly, I started smoking again recently. When I told her she was all over me quite publicly. After she was done I said, "We all have our vices. Another chocolate Chip cookie?". MEAN? Yes! But I don't care anymore. I am very liberated by doing this. Lap2Fab is going to be a skinny liar, but I am going to be a skinny Biotch! LOL

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well if being sick and throwing up is what the band is well than I got the wrong thing I am good. I am down 201lbs now and love the band.

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well if being sick and throwing up is what the band is well than I got the wrong thing I am good. I am down 201lbs now and love the band.

Congratulations!

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"Too many of us are programmed to apologize for our size, what we eat, how much room we take up in a theater seat. When someone chides us, we bow our heads, acknowledge our inferiority, and promise to do better.

Well, I say the hell with it. Stand up, talk back, learn to be polite but firm, or just tell those people to go to the devil. We're overweight, we aren't childish, stupid, uneducated or in need of constance survellance by society. I am willing to bet most individuals on this forum know more about weight control than ten skinny civilians, so why do we let the uneducated and unexperienced buffalo us with unsolicited comments?"

I could'nt agree more! I find in the workplace that people hush up and don't discuss distructive behavior like alcoholism, smoking, drug use, gambling, but feel free to attack overweight co workers. These people feel superior because they are lucky enough to be thin.

I also had a hiatal hernia and that is what I am telling people outside my family that I had repaired.

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I too am a slow looser. I'm just over a year and down 43 pounds. 40 to go. I get lots of negative feed back as well. But I now have come to realize they can kiss my a$$.

I felt this was the right for me. Thankfully I have a Sister in Law and a very good friend on this journey with me. They both have lost over 100# and look amazing.

Way to go bansters!!

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One of the things that really sucks about having a weight problem is the number of people who feel they have some sort of moral right and/or obligation to make comments on what we put in our mouths or how we conduct our lives. My stock reaction for anyone who has the unmitigated gall to do so: A cold stare and, "Why on earth would you make such a personal remark?"

Too many of us are programmed to apologize for our size, what we eat, how much room we take up in a theater seat. When someone chides us, we bow our heads, acknowledge our inferiority, and promise to do better.

Well, I say the hell with it. Stand up, talk back, learn to be polite but firm, or just tell those people to go to the devil. We're overweight, we aren't childish, stupid, uneducated or in need of constance survellance by society. I am willing to bet most individuals on this forum know more about weight control than ten skinny civilians, so why do we let the uneducated and unexperienced buffalo us with unsolicited comments?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Quit giving consent, hold your head high, and fight back.

YEAH Llyra! I feel so empowered reading your comments. YOU ROCK!!

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Well, now that they know the only thing you can do is have a pat answer that you keep repeating (be a broken record) when they start in on you. Something like: "I appreciate your concern but I really don't want to discuss it with you." You'll have to draw a line as to what's okay for them to say because they have no boundaries.

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I had a co-worker who told me that I would be very miserable. She was like "I don't think you should do it" and she sort of blew me off. I've lost a little over 46 lbs and she has not acknowledge it at all. She doesn't ask, or anything.

I also had a friend that was totally against me getting it and thought that I was rushing into it and we had dinner the other day and I think she was shocked at how I enjoyed my Protein filled dinner, and was happy. She also marveled at the weight I've lost. I think I could see her looking at the alternatives later and maybe considering it but she hasn't said anything.

Then there are the family that constantly ask how much you've lost, if you can eat that, if you can eat that much, etc. People just have no clue. :lol:

And I agree - the mom is overfilled. I went to my doc on Friday and they did not give me a fill because they want me to go another 6 weeks on the 7 that I have. They think I'm pretty close to my sweet spot. The goal is to NOT eat but to be able to eat Protein without sliming and PBing.

The band was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I still stand by that one. :lol:

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I too am a slow looser. I'm just over a year and down 43 pounds. 40 to go. I get lots of negative feed back as well. But I now have come to realize they can kiss my a$$.

I felt this was the right for me. Thankfully I have a Sister in Law and a very good friend on this journey with me. They both have lost over 100# and look amazing.

Way to go bansters!!

You know CarrieLynn, just because you're a slow loser doesn't mean you're a failure in any way shape or form. (Not that you said you were, but it's hard not to compare to others). Just keep doing what you're doing and as far as the negative feedback, let them eat your dust all the way to skinnyville. That is the ultimate revenge. I wish you the very best on your journey and am glad you have support and people you can talk to about being banded. Those who aren't really have no clue. It may not be the same as before, but the result is a whole lot of worth it!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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