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Post Surgery Relationship Break ups



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In my final preop support group meeting on the topic of relatipnships. It's being said that post WL Surgery divorce rates are high--even 50%. Thoughts?

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I think divorce rates are close to 50% already. I dont think it has anything to do with weight loss surgery.

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There is a whole thread on this topic that was started a couple of days ago. Search for it(I'm not sure how to do a link) - I am sure you will find it interesting reading.

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My view is to block out the negative things you read. I have a "friend" who called me the day i was out of hospital and preceeded to tell me of all the people she knew that had regained it all. I did not need to hear this. So i just put it down to her own issues and ignored it.

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The sad part about your "friend" oz girl is that she is probably jealous of your motivation to lose weight. Getting you down is a way to get you discouraged. I have a "friend" like that too. Sure there are ppl that gain the weight back with this surgery, gastric bypass, and any other diet that's out there. That doesnt mean it's going to happen to you. It is a good idea to not pay attention to the negativity. I'd use it as motivation to do better! I wish all of you lots of luck with your weight loss!

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divorce rate are high anyway.

the friend may just be scared or concerned for you. not everyone who says something negative is "jealous" no matter what our moms told us when we were young!

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I have read quite a few posts here where women (could be men also), stayed in a not so great/happy marriage before the weight loss because of confidence problems, etc. After they had lost some weight and gained confidence, they did find themselves feeling that there could be something more for them out there.

There is quite a lot on the subject.

This does not only apply to marriage, but also other things in life such as job opportunities, etc.

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I'm worried about the surgery affecting my relationship, only because of my depression really. It's been 9 days since the surgery and I don't feel like myself. I cry a lot. I don't want my boyfriend to compliment me. I don't want to make love. I worry about him not eating enough because I can't eat. He's great and patient and supportive, but I keep pushing him away because of how miserable I feel. Some people might not be as understanding as he is, so I can see relationships falling apart during this time,at least during the first few weeks.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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