stressed and disappointed

[Retta1983 0]

I feel like such a huge failure.

This may not be exactly the right forum for this but I really wanted to let it out. I started out by getting my lapband in June last year, a few months after my wedding day - when I weight 122kg's. I now weight 91kg's having lost 31kg's (that's around 68lbs)

I haven't actually lost weight for the last few months though. I'm so sick of myself, bouncing between confident and depressed and having so much trouble keeping myself on track.

This year after the 30kg's my husband and I decided to try for our first baby and now I have to say that we have had two early miscarriages and I'm thoroughly frustrated and lost. My husband wants us to stop trying for a month or so for me to recover a bit but all I can think is that we need to keep trying.

I don't know, guess I'm just frustrated and upset overall - feel like I should have done much better and need to work harder at everything.

[elcee 3,343]

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I am with your husband on this one. You need to give your body chance to recover from the miscarriages.This will help give you a better chance of a healthy pregnancy.

I know its hard but try to relax and look after yourself. Being tense and stressed won't help.

[marykb 0]

I'm so very sorry that you are going through this. I think it would be really hard to stay on track going through the stress and sorrow of a miscarriage.

I hope that you are able to focus on recovering, both mentally and physically.

Mary

[Laura Lane 0]

take it one day at a time, only God knows why you guys are going through such a difficult experience. I am sure He has something really nice in store for you and your husband. Be faithful and keep hoping for the best. Goodluck and please keep us posted.:biggrin:

[LeighaMason 19]

I understand what you are going through, I thought I might offer my personal experience and maybe it will help. I miscarried twins 18 years ago, afterward my Dr told me the damage was too much and I would never get pregnant again. So I completely took my mind off of having children and guess what about a year later I was pregnant! As a matter of fact I was almost 5 months pregnant before I figured it out because I was so sure it would never happen. When I went to the Dr and asked him about it he said, "I tell my patients that it wont happen if there is only a little chance because then they relax and stop stressing and it increases their odds of a successful pregnancy." So hard as it might be, I suggest you try and put your dream aside for a while, spend the time needed to mourn you loss, feed your body good food, exercise and let nature take its course.

[Jachut 487]

That's a stressful and sad situation to go through, you really dont need to be worrying about weight loss as well.

You've done really well, that's a huge loss and if your body has been in the hormonal turmoil of being pregant/not pregnant several times, as well as you being presumably stressed and upset, then to not have lost is really understandable.

I'd even go so far as to say that trying to concentrate on falling pregnant AND losing weight at the same time is asking a lot of yourself, in terms of dedication and commitment. You're not going to want to be exercising really hard, well, not like running miles or anything and perhaps you can concentrate on just being healthy for now? The weight will take care of itself when its time.

Good luck, I hope your dreams all work out.

[Retta1983 0]

Thank you so much everyone, I really appreciate your feedback. I've actually found it hard to eat lately . . at least to eat consistently, and have been wanting nothing more than to be in bed the moment I get home from work. I spoke to my mum who has had a miscarriage before as well and she said that my body is recovering and that understandably my hormones are all over the place - that in time it will get easier, not to lose hope too much but just look after myself and think about the future a bit more and not to dwell on the past too much.

I'm just going to have an early night and hope that tomorrow is a bit easier :biggrin:

[steph_co 9]

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, 2-1/2 years ago (it was actually one of the things that really pushed me to get the band). I can understand the heartbreak. I just wanted to offer you hugs and advise that you take really good care of yourself. This is a time for healing and making your body a peaceful place to carry the baby. Don't be in a rush - nature has a perfect balance to it. Take your time and be kind to yourself.

[duncansmom 0]

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss and that the Lord will always be with you in your time of need. My thoughts are with you and your family. One of my favorite sayings is "The Will of God will not take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you."