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It took me a few weeks to decide to write this blog. I still am having a hard time dealing. May 4th 2010 I lost my mother at the age of 48 unexpectedly. She was my only parent since she raised us alone. She was an amazing woman and taught me so much. I am sure many of you might understand where I am coming from when I write this. My mother was great but she was a mother who feed us. food meant love. I come from a family of big people and its always just been normal to be large. This past year I decided to make a change in my life. A change that I hoped would inspire others to do the same. The number one goal was to help my mother see that if I could do it she could too. Although the reason she died suddenly did not revolve entirely around her weight I know that it had it's part. The doctor at the hospital told me people rarely live past 50 at her size. It is a horrible feeling to know it could have been prevented. To know that she will never meet my children or be able to give me one of those never ending hugs she was so good at. Even in the few months I have been working to loose weight my mother was so happy for me. She visited me this fall and was shocked at how much time I was spending at the gym. I only wish she could she when I reach my goal. I have toyed with the idea of becoming a personal trainer recently but I really feel I must now. I am giving myself six months to continue with my hard work and start the classes to become certified. My mother always taught me that anything was possible for me. I never thought that meant being slim and fit but now I know anything is anything I set my mind to. I want to make her proud. I want to live to a ripe old age and die happy expecting the sun to set on my life. I want to live the life my mom should have had. She did so much for me I owe it to her.

If you or someone you know is dealing with obesity please do something about it. For me I have learned baby steps are best and to use whatever tools are available. Whatever it takes for you. If you do nothing you to could die and that is a pain your love ones have to endure for the rest of their lives.

p.s. I have attached a picture of my beautiful mother. She had the most amazing smile which luckily I inherited. I love you mom!

post-268230-1381313931323_thumb.jpg

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Wow- well I have never lost a loved one, so I can only imagine how you feel and I am so sorry for your loss. I can only say that I know your mom is looking down on you from heaven just as proud of you as she was here on earth. And I know she can still even see the progress you continue to make and new goals you are setting for yourself. Take care- one day at a time

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Hi Chatty... my condolence to you and your family in the loss of your mom. I lost my mom in Dec '09. Your story is very similar to mine. My mom also overfed us too as a child. She grew up poor and alot of days didn't eat so she vowed my sister and I wouldn't never have a childhood like hers. She was obese, diabetic and hypertensive. After her death I went into a depression and gained another 40 lbs. I have vowed to get healthy and get my weight in control and live a more healthier lifestyle. Congratulations on your new goals. You can do it!!! Just remember absent in the body means present with God. Your mom is watching down on you. Take Care!!

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Millions of hugs to you--I am so, so sorry for your loss.

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A very beautiful, heartfelt post. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know the pain that you are experiencing and while each of us go through the mourning process differently, there are inherant similarities.Go easy on yourself and know that she WILL experience the things you describe that she will miss. I believe that they stay with us and she IS proud of you. Keep her close!

Love,

Heather

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Chatty,

I am very sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost my mother when I was 21... September 28, 2006. It is a very hard time to deal with. Your post was very motivational... and I believe that she is very proud of you. I will keep your family in my prayers. It is great that the death of your mother has motivated you to do so much. When my mother died, I kind of hit rock bottom and gained weight. It was very hard. Keep your head up!

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My condolences to you and your family. Many hugs to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. As an overweight mom, my reasoning for getting the band is 98% for the benefit of my own children. Your story just confirms my decision.

I'm sure your mom is very proud of you and will continue to shine through your accomplishments. :thumbup:

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Sending you lots of hugs Chatty! I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. Your mom may not see your progress, but for every pound you lose, you know she would be proud of you!

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hi chatty i am so sorry for your loss,i lost my mother a weekbefore mothers day, that was years ago, an i think about her all the time.prayers go out for you&your family.she will be smiling down on you an she will see all of the good things to honor her.god bless.

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Chatty,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please let me know when you get your certification. Maybe I can be your first client :thumbup:

Hang in there,

NewGirl

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Thanks everyone for all the support. I am trying to not do the whole depressed eat everything route that was the pre band me. I went yesterday and bought running shoes to jog. I workout a lot but never run and I thought why not.

Sil my mother too died the week of Mothers Day. It was so hard as I had already bought her present. Your so right though that she is smiling down on me. I feel it when I least expect it.

Newgirl- that would be awesome. In fact I am always telling people but if you need a workout partner now feel free to contact me. The more support we have the easier it is to get off our bootays and get the work done. My email addy is justcallmepatty@gmail.com I am on Facebook too. I have a couple friends from this site I have met locally and its sooo encouraging.

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I am so sorry for your loss.

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You are making you mom proud RIGHT NOW....

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Hugs to you at this difficult time. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman.

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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