Nightmare Weekend & My Breakdown

[amey_idaho 0]

1st let me apologize for the length of this post. I would put in a blog but I don't know how....

A little background on the weekend....

Thursday night my son, Kyle (19) and his friend and his friend's wife (6 mth pregnant) left for Seattle for the weekend. They were going to see her mom and go whale watching. They were so excited. Kyle has been to Salt Lake overnight several times but never this far away. We live just outside Idaho Falls, Salt Lake is 3 hours, Seattle is about 11 hours away. Kyle and Isaac are very responsible and I had made the same trip when I was 2 yrs younger than him so I didn't worry too much about it.

Friday morning I was to start my pre-op diet. No shakes, real food off an approved list..I was so excited. Thursday I made a very detailed menu for the next 2 wks of what I would eat and when. I shopped for the necessary groceries, I was set, psyched and ready to go. :thumbup:

Friday morning I was getting ready for work when the phone rang. It was Kyle. He was hysterical and all I could understand was I rolled my car, Kalli can't feel her legs. :scared2:Isaac finally got on the phone, he was relatively calm. He told me they were between Spokane & Seattle and gave me the name of the hospital they were being taken to. At that point I was FREAKED OUT!

I told my husband what was going on, I called my boss and told him I wouldn't be to work that day, found a neighbor to let my 12 yr old stay with and googled a map to the hospital. We threw an overnight bag in the car and left. Isaac couldn't find his phone in the wreck so he didn't have any phone numbers. He kind of told me where her dad lived so I had to go knock a strangers door and tell him his daughter had been in a wreck and ask for her mom's # in Seattle so I could call her too. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

On the way to Spokane Kyle called us back. They had life-flighted Kalli to a different hospital in Spokane. Isaac had stitches in his head and Kyle was ok.

THE LONGEST 9 HR DRIVE OF MY LIFE....We get to Spokane. Kalli's mom had left from Seattle and picked up the boys at the 1st hospital, taken them to the car to get their clothes and what they could salvage, and was at the hospital in Spokane when we got there.

We learned that at the 1st hospital they did an ER c-section but the baby didn't make it. Then they life-flighted her. She has a broken pelvis, broken ribs, bruise lung, and broken shoulder. Isaac has a concussion and 2 chipped vertebrae. My son, the driver, walked away and withstanding being sore and a few minor scrapes and bruises is fine. Kalli will be in the hospital for at least a week.

Kyle feels so bad. He is really beating himself up. We left Spokane yesterday afternoon and would up staying in Dillon last night and finally getting home this afternoon.

So, if that isn't all enough...I was trying to do my pre-op diet at the same time. When we left I grabbed the fruit and carrots, lunch meat and boiled eggs I had prepared for Friday's menu. I also threw in the case of Muscle Milk light we had bought a few weeks ago before I knew about the pre-op diet. I called the NUT when we got on the road, explained what was going on and asked if I got in a pinch if I could drink a Protein shake. She said ok but to really try not to and if I couldn't stick to it then we could reschedule the surgery. NO FREAKING WAY WAS I GOING TO DO THAT!

The 1st day went ok, I was STARVING but my mind was on other things and I'm not a stress eater, I'm a bored eater so I honestly wasn't really hungry. I ate what I had packed for Breakfast at work and drank a shake in the car when we stopped for gas and DH ate Arby's in front of me :wink:. Yesterday was a little harder, I knew everyone would be ok so I wasn't as stressed and my mind was a little more relaxed. I had scrambled egg whites and a cup of cut up melon, all on the approved list, from Perkins. I was still hungry but didn't want to complain. We didn't stop for lunch. By 9:30 when we stopped for supper I was ready to kill someone! We found a place that had grilled chicken and steamed broccoli, list-approved and satisfying.

Today has been Hell!! For Breakfast I figured on the same as yesterday, egg whites and fruit. DH & DS wanted to go to KFC or Subway or McDonald's and eat in the car....I told them there is nothing at those places I can eat. They were KFC has chicken....ummm I don't think so!!! The restaurant we wound up at didn't have fruit, and the waitress said their applesauce was 'medium sweetened' WTF IS THAT?? I am only allowed 1/2 c unsweetened applesauce. So I said no thanks and ordered 3 egg whites with onions & bell peppers, all list-approved, and asked that they be prepared with fat free spray, she assured me it would be no problem. She brings our meals, DH has the Sausage, eggs, Bacon, pancakes, and Potatoes....Kyle has the Farmer's Scrambled Skillet. And I got a pile of yellow runny eggs, not scramble hard, and definitely not egg whites. And it was swimming in bacon grease!! :eek::cool:

And that's when I lost it. I started crying right in the middle of the restaurant, grabbed my purse and went to the car. I just couldn't sit there and watch them eat what I wanted when I knew I couldn't even eat what was in front of me. I dug a cup of warm unsweetened applesauce out of the trunk and some warm carrots and sat in the car and ate that. It really hit me hard that I would never eat comfortably in a restaurant again.

When they got in the car I totally flipped out on them, for drinking pop in front of me, Kyle eating candy bars in the car the day before in front of me, Wade ordering the same things I like and not considering going where I could eat. I was crying so hard I choked on a carrot. Even better!!!

It was a very long quiet 3 hours home.

I am supposed to eat 800-900 calories a day. I entered what I ate the last 3 days on My Fat Secret and this is what it says...Friday 740 calories, Saturday 410 calories, and so far today only 85 calories. And YES I AM STARVING, I could eat my own arm!! DH is making dinner now...if I go in the kitchen I know I'm going to start cleaning out the fridge...right into my mouth. I'm really thinking this would be so much easier if I could just go open a shake....at least that would be something! I am bitchy and I just yelled at DH again. This is not me!! I hate this bitchy, screaming, psycho that I have been. I just need some food!

At least the weekend is almost over and I can get back to my pre-op menu tomorrow morning. We still have to get everything worked out with the insurance co on Kyle's car and the hospital bills. But managing that from home will be a lot easier.

I hope you all had a better weekend than we did!!!

[AnneGG 0]

If you could maintain a pre-op diet through all you went through this weekend, you can do anything! what an inspiration you are about that!

I'm so glad your son is OK, but he's probably going to have some major issues about the accident.

I can't imagine the stress and tension you were under! And you maintained your diet! Way to go!!!

[Jachut 487]

I agree, if you can maintain your diet through that, you're inspirational. You wouldnt have to be a stress eater to just chuck it all in and start when things died down.

But you WILL eat comfortably and normally in a restaurant again. You will get to a place in your life when if you have to eat just what's put in front of you for a week, you wont even worry about it.

[elcee 3,343]

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I hope that everyone involved is soon on the road to recovery.

I think your Dr should have cut you some slack. In circumstances like those a Protein shake would have been far easier. Its not like you were asking if you could eat steak and chocolate cake!

As Jacqui has already said you will be able to eat in restaurants again .

You must be really strong to have coped under the circumstances and I am sure that you will get through the rest of the lapband journey fine.

All the best.

[muddieguryl 0]

Sending hugs! Lots of them. What an experience! Sounds like you held up well during the trip provided that your son was in an accident, the critical condition of his passenger and they fact that your pre-op diet had started. Sending extra hugs. Certianly hope the young lady recovers well.

[amey_idaho 0]

I'm crying reading what you all said. I really thought I'd get a lecture about how things are too stressful in my life and if I can't stay home then I shouldn't be doing this. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

I ate dinner and I'm feeling a lot better. I had to eat 9 oz of Tilapia to satisfy the Protein requirement for the day. It was a lot of fish! LOL. With the veggies for supper, I'm at 370 calories for the day but I still have to eat a serving of fruit before I go to bed, so I'm thinking I'll be a little over 400 for the day. A long way from 900 but tomorrow is a new day and I'll do better.

I have my breakfast and lunch packed for work tomorrow and ready to start fresh.

Kyle has a lot of survivor guilt going on. He feels so bad about the baby and he's worried about making sure the hospital doesn't bill his friends for anything. He had just bought the car a few weeks ago, hadn't even made the 1st payment yet, had a new stereo and speakers put in it and it was so nice. - And he hasn't even once talked about how he lost his car, just how he should be the one in the hospital not them.

I'm going to get some laundry done and get some sleep. The sooner I get to bed the sooner this weekend will be officially over. Thank you all for your encouragement....I love this place!!!

[amey_idaho 0]

You must be really strong to have coped under the circumstances and I am sure that you will get through the rest of the LAP-BAND® journey fine.

I've been divorced 4 times and my mom died when I was 23, my sister always told me it just made me stronger. I guess so. But I'd rather have not had to go through all that to get here LOL. :eek:

[DianaG 0]

My dear Amey, I have had some really bad times in my life, but not all on one weekend!!! My goodness you are a strong person to be able to handle all of that and I am surprised that you didn't have a complete meltdown.

I can tell you that the pain will get better as time goes on, but right now you are all hurting physically and emotionally and you are an amazing person trying to support your son, his friends and everyone involved. That is an enormous task at any time, but to take it while getting ready for your surgery has to be extra stressful.

I know that you all will come out the other side even stronger. It is only natural that your son is going through the "why not me" when he thinks of his friends injuries. I am certain that he will need some help coping in the aftermath of the tragedy and am also certain that you will help him find the help and comfort he needs.

You are certainly an inspiration to me and I know you are to others also. Remember to take care of yourself at this time and don't worry about the future as a lap-bander ( is that a word?). One of the joys of being banded is that you really can eat at restaurants without any trouble in the future. I just usually order off the appetizer menus or ask for a to go box when I place my order. Then I can eat the same meal for the next two days!:eek:

I am rambling on and on, but just had to offer you my sympathy and encouragement. I know it is hard, but you are a strong person and I wanted you to know that we are here if you need to talk. Lots of nice people on this site!:wink:

[juliansmom2003 3]

Amey--I agree with everything everyone else has posted on how much of an inspiration you are. It would have been VERY easy to just say "oh it wouldn't hurt to have a little of this" and end up face down in a bucket of KFC!! While I can't even imagine how you handled the weekend emotionally, it is unthinkable to me how someone without the band could have done what you managed to do, so take the time to give that bitchy, screaming psycho and little bit of credit and a HUGE pat on the back!

Also, you may not think so now, but you will be able to have a nice meal at a restaurant again. This I absolutely PROMISE! It will get much easier with that, trust me. The beginning stages are never fun and to be honest, quite frustrating initially. You have definitely displayed commitment to your goals so I have no doubt that you will get through the early stages, just know that you will be tested as far as food is concerned before you hit a decent restriction level. Many doctors and centers sometimes don't share this info with patients pre-op and they find that they are even more frustrated at how they feel after.

I am so sorry to hear about the accident and very relieved to hear that your son is okay. I am sure the guilt your son is feeling is just terrible and please know that you are all in my prayers.

Edited April 26, 2010 by juliansmom2003

[Mommy2Ps 4]

OMG, I'm so sorry to hear about your son and his friends and the poor baby. Your son might benefit from some counseling as I'm sure it was very traumatic for him. I hope for healing for all involved, and minimal stress in the following months.

You did awesome under the stress, btw! Congrats for not cracking. Not so sure I could say I would have done the same, but you held up beautifully!

I don't know if you blog, but you should start one. Despite the tragedy of the story, I was cracking up at your writings. 'Crying so hard you choked on your carrot'. Genius. :scared2:

[amey_idaho 0]

I don't know if you blog, but you should start one. Despite the tragedy of the story, I was cracking up at your writings. 'Crying so hard you choked on your carrot'. Genius. :thumbup:

I would have liked to put this all in a blog but I have no idea how to do it....maybe someone could take pity on me and send me some instructions.

Thank you all so very much!! The last couple days have gotten easier - tomorrow means only one more week until my B-Day! YEA!!!

[coloradobanding 5]

Dearest Amey...

You are a TRUE inspiration!!!!!

I have a very strong will, but seriously doubt I could've done what you did.

In the face of adversity, stress and tragedy, you stuck to your guns and made it through!!! You are so ready for this journey!!!

I'm happy your son is OK and sorry for the loss of the baby.

Keep up the good work!! YOU WILL be able to eat comfortably in a restaurant again..don't worry about that!