Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

non-supportive family



Recommended Posts

I just had my lap band placed on April 13th. I waited almost until the last minute to tell my family, primarily because I knew they wouldn't be supportive. I told my mother and grandparents back in mid-February. I think they understand why I did it, but at the same time they don't understand why I can't do it on my own if it just means changing habits. I waited until two days before surgery to tell my sister (who is also overweight) about what I was doing. She was furious! She claims she was only upet because I waited so long to tell her... I think there is more to it than that though. Part of me thinks there is a little bit of jealousy there because she is unable to have the surgery herself (lack of insurance), but then I can't think that because she told me she considers it "cheating". She hasn't talked to me since. What do you do when you don't have the support of the people that mean the most to you?I mean.. I didn't tell them they had to agree with it, I could use a little support though..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't told any of my family. I have told my husband's family as they are supportive. My feeling is, if they can't or won't support you, find some friends who will. Also, attend your support group. They will be a big help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First, I am very sorry to hear that you do not have the support you need. I was banded on the 15th of April and one of the things I had to do prior to my banding was attend a seminar. That was one of the things that was spoken about was having that support through this process. My father and my in-laws know I have had the surgery. My mother does not know. I believe this is why places like lapbandtalk and lapband support groups exsist so not only people that have the support system, but people that need a support system can have the support they need to make it through this process.

I agree with Rilversea if they won't support you I bet you have people that will. Just trust them to know. I was kind of hush hush about what I was having surgery for and just let people know that I was going to be out for a week. I did finally tell a couple people and I guess the word got out. Come to find out there are people rooting for me here to do well and to get the weight off. I guess what I am trying to say is sometimes your biggest cheerleaders are not the ones you live with and spend time with. I wish you the best of luck.

James from Bremerton WA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of the people close to you may come around with a little time. LBT is a good place to get some support.

I agree with the poster who said attend support group in your area. I found that any group will let you attend. I had my surgery in a different city, but a closer support group lets anyone attend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×