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Something is holding me back



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Hey guys,

I'm pretty new here on LapBandTalk and have not been banded yet.

I looked deep into the lap band, into the problem sides as well as the good sides and I decided to do it.

I found a place where I will have it done. I found the doctor. I found out if my insurance will cover it. I called the place where I will get it done and they told me that I have to go get a psych evaluation and some blood work. I got the paperwork all ready and for some reason it's just sitting here in my room. I think about it every day and I think about the lap band daily but yet I haven't seen a doctor yet.

What is wrong with me?

I'm not afraid of surgery. I'm not afraid of the possible problems. I am not afraid of the liquid diet. I'm not really afraid of dieing. I'm worried that I'm afraid of the change. I don't like being fat and tired but I don't think I will look that great with loose skin everywhere.

I know that I need the band. I know I can die of heart disease. I knwo I can become diebetic. I know that being fat is very very bad for me.

I need support in getting my fat booty off the chair and going to the doctor for my blood work.

BTW - I love this board!

Maggie

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Hi Maggie,

Let me just say, there is nothing wrong with you. What I was afraid of was giving up the way I ate. I so enjoy food and lots of it, I mean lots. What I had to keep saying to myself was that I am not giving up food, I will be able to enjoy everything (well almost) and still be healthy. Food was / is my friend, its there for me, it makes me feel good, why would I want to do this. Well every time I looked in the mirror that was my answer. I knew I had to do something because I was not living the life I really wanted to be living. I want to play with my DD and feel good about myself. With these thoughts in my head I pressed on and got my ass in geer. I'm banded 3 full weeks now and I'm glad, so glad I did it. Its not easy but its worth it.

Good luck to you Maggie :) HUGS

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well, of course you are stuck, you are about to do something that will change your life forever. Of course you are daunted. This is a huge step.

If your only fear is that you will have lose hanging skin, well get a grip woman! Get a grip! Baby, you are only 23! you have the skin elasticity of an rubber band! Besides, even if you were an old lady like some of us, you could always get plastic surgery. I'll need both a Tummy Tuck and a breast reduction, and I might need my arms done as well, but I'm a sight bit older than you are.

Tomorrow, get up and get going!

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I too was scared. Not of anything really, just the overall feeling of being apprehensive. I think it is the "what if's" that scared me. And to be truthful, the closer the date came, the more anxiety I had. Then after the surgery, I had the "omg, what did I do to myself" feelings. I doubted my reasoning, my motives, my choice. But as I sit here, looking more normal and feeling more natural in my own skin, I know I made the best choice for me.

Make that right choice for you! Whether it is to wait or to jump into the land of healthy. It is your choice, your body, your health. That being said...... put down the remote, put away the oreos, give a few swings of your legs to get you going up, and GET OFF THAT COUCH!!!!

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Maggie you have already taken the first step don't stop now. I too was in the same boat and now I can't wait to get the surgery done. I didnt know how much I wanted it done until the insurance denied me the first time. I am determined more then ever to get it done. There are so many positives. One being the most important your health:) Good luck and big hugs you can do it!!!

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DON'T WAIT. I envy you the fact that this surgery is available to help you get control at the age of 23 vs the ripe old age of 40. Lots more life has passed me by, and I can tell you right now that it doesn't get ONE BIT easier to lose weight as you get older. AND the hanging skin is better than the fat. It weighs less and you can pack it into a girdle until you save enough money for Plastic Surgery.

Hanging skin won't cause Diabetes or Heart Failure... only some embarrassment.

RUN - do not walk - to your doctor's office and take control NOW. If your insurance company will pay, then take the money and run!

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Maggie, I had plenty of reasons to put off my surgery. I had to pay for every single cent ot it myself. I am married to a great man who doesn't understand why I can't just buckle down and lose the weight by myself.

I got my band in July and I have only lost about 40 lbs and the loss has slowed down so I sometimes get a little frustrated, but I have had so many people comment not so much on my weight loss, but the change in my affect, my demeanor. I'm sure that a lot of that has to do with having more energy and not dragging that 40 extra lbs of fat around. Next time you have a chance, take a look at a 40 lb sack of dog food and pick it up.

Sure, I'm still tired at the end of the day and my knees and back still hurt but NOTHING like they did 6 months ago. People say I am standing taller, striding rather than schlumping, and that my complexion looks better. I am smiling more, my eyes are brighter.

I have gone from a 24 to an 18, which enables me to get into some "regular" clothes.

You are lucky to be young and your skin will do much better than you think. Your skin is much more elastic than mine and the sooner you start the loss, the better. You might not be perfect, but you will look and feel so much better. You will probably add years to your life and the quality of your life will be so much better.

As I said, I am 53 and have been overweight ever since I had my kids--30 years. My mother literally dropped dead when she was 62 and she was not overweight. I have too many co-morbidities to ignore the weight anymore. I want to enjoy the retirement that I have worked so hard for. I want to travel. I want to spoil grandchildren that haven't even been conceived yet.

The decision is yours, Maggie, and your reluctance to go the final step is understandable. I worked on having the surgery for literally 3 years before I was able to come up with the $$, so I was raring to go when I finally was able. Sometimes there are issues that people have that cause them to "need" to be overweight. If you do, you might need to get those resolved before you have the surgery, but if you qualify for the surgery, you are going to have some time to work on that as you lose. It's not going to just fall off overnight.

Whatever you decide, you will will find supportive people here on the list to encourage you.

Good luck!

Colleen

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After my research, I literally could not find a doctor fast enough. Then when I did find a doctor in my area, I was his first lapband patient, scared....NOT. The surgery could not happen soon enough for me either.

Go for it!!!!

Oh yeah, I love my band!

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For me, it was about giving up the way I ate and what I ate...it is a source of comfort and stress relief. I still miss not being able to eat more when it tastes sooo good. It's like learning to walk again after a knee replacement or something like that...you can still walk, just differently. I can still eat, just differently. More carefully, more consciously, and less. You can see my stats...it's not flying off, but I'm happy with the pace. I am on the verge of 50, and my skin is doing okay so far. I know looks are important, but health is more important. You'll look better if you are healthier! Cindy

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Oh guys thanks so much for all the replies! I'm so glad I found this forum, you guys are a wonderful team and I'm very thankful for each response.

I'm going to call the doc today and make an appointment!

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I'm worried that I'm afraid of the change.

Maggie, you've answered your own question. Personally-my sister (who started off smaller than me in the first place)got her lapband (meanwhile I'm swearing I wouldn't do it...just too scared). Then watching her success for 6 months I knew I had to get past my fears. Like you-not fear of the surgery, and knowing it's what I need to do but I was...and still am to a certain extent...afraid of the change. It's been so long since I've been a normal size. I've been divorced for 6 years and have been hiding in my fat shell that cushions me from the outside world.

I had people ask me if I was scared, but by the time I got to MX I was so excited about the journey I was about to start that I could hardly wait! To prove it....I'm getting rebanded in January after having it removed in July due to slipping after a horrible stomach flu virus that had me violently throwing up for days. I miss my band. I miss the control it gave me and I miss the hopeful feeling I had for success.

You can do this Maggie. We are here for you every step of the way. Make the call, appointment, whatever, as long as you're sure this is what you want to do. It will make you feel so much better to get the ball rolling.

Take care.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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