Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Not looking for negativity but positive encouragement....



Recommended Posts

I'm almost 4 months post-op.

Is it normal to go into a rebellion stage this early and start eating more than you should/things that you shouldn't?

I feel completely awful. I just ate 3 oz. of chocolate icecream and a handful of reese pieces .....I feel disgusting.

Im scared Im going to ruin this for myself and I dont know how to stop it.

Help? Please?:confused:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your post sounds just like the little voice in my head :-)

I have struggled a number of times during my first year and hit what I thought was rock bottom numerous times - even thought I had done myself serious damage after a couple of binge sessions. I knew the band would not be a magic cure but I guess i didnt consider the fact that it actually doesnt help stop emotional eating AT ALL!!!!! At least I eat a lot less than I use to but the same thoughts and doubts and negative voices play in my head. So, you are not alone and you are not crazy, although if you are like me you probably feel a bit crazy :-) I have done more soul searching and personal development and that is helping me a lot. I have just read the book by Genene Roth, Women, food and God - has been helpful. And I loved "The Gabriel Method" which includes a good meditation (I really notice the difference when I listen to it for a week or so). I think that is by Jon Gabriel - google it.

Keep doing your best, I am sure things will improve and get worse and improve and get worse and improve ..... :-)

Good luck on the roller coaster that is life - and I wish you luck getting back into the zone - I am sure you will find again - hope it is soon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol, I get it. I have very little restriction, and it is tempting on the crabby days to use that!

What you ate isn't terrible. I think there needs to be some room for a small bit of wonderful in our lives. And the ability to enjoy it without guilt in the end.

So grant yourself some grace, and step into today with a fresh heart.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't speak for everyone but I will tell you alot of us do that from time to time just don't let it get out of control. I myself have done it and felt like crap and then had to deal with the guilt. My fill Doctor says not to beat myself up for it because if you follow the rules 99% of the time that 1% shouldn't hurt you. It's really hard to train the brain to go for what you need and not what you want. It's all a learning process and if it's bothering you your learning. I had a candy bar yesterday so I'll behave for the rest of the month. I do treat myself from time to time but in moderation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't beat yourself up. I have had icecream and sherbert over the months. Just don't do it often and don't eat large amounts. For example, If I am at a birthday party I skip the cake and have a little bit of icecream. That way I join in the celebration and have a little treat. I make healthy choices most of the time and avoid that deprived feeling by a tiny treat now and then. There are many healthier choices to choose from as well. Read the lables in the freezer isle.......fat free, frozen yogurt, sugar free ..........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is SO hard sometimes - if only they could have put a little magical band in our brain the same time they put one into our stomach! You are doing great and we are all here to encourage each other!:confused:

Banded 3/5/10 350

Current 327

FIRST fill 4/14/10

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You haven't ruined anything for yourself! You might need to reevaluate why you had this surgery, and what it represents to you...or, more importantly, how it can free you from this line of thinking.

Are you self-sabotaging? Or are you just having minor occasional indulgences of the sort that every life has a bit of room for?

Really, the fatalistic, "Now I've done it!" no longer has a place in your life. You're no longer in an either/or, on-diet/off-diet rollercoaster.

Now you have an amazing tool to help you. It gives you remarkable leeway---and still, you will succeed.

Do you want to continue down the ice cream and sherbet path on a routine basis? Probably not. But if you're making otherwise healthy choices, and are losing weight well, there's no cause for worry if you have an occasional treat.

It's really hard to let go of the old messages in our brains. But we don't need them any more. Truly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am 6 months out and have done this too. You can't keep beating yourself up over it. Get to a support group or start seeing counselor. My therapist, while not an eating specialist, has been very helpful during my self sabotage times. There really are few things I can't get down anymore, but I try to avoid the ones I shouldn't eat. (I am addicted to tomato/basil wheat thins- They are my crack) I can't have it in the house at all. Let each meal be a chance to eat properly.

Good Luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So grant yourself some grace, and step into today with a fresh heart.

Love it! This will be my new mantra- thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im only 1 month out and have lost 40#. Im eating healthier than before but I still eat chocolate, Ive had ice cream, etc. I know it will get harder to lose weight but I havent really craved anything. If I want something like ice cream Ill eat a few bites to satisfy myself. Im very mental (not sure how else to explain), if I didnt do this I would go crazy and binge alot and sabatoge the band. Im not saying I do it every day and when I start getting fills I might have to change my habits but it seems to be working right now. Like someone else said, dont beat yourself up over it,if you believe it was wrong, get back on board. This is for life, you wont be perfect for the rest of your life. I didnt do this to deprive myself, I did it so I would eat less(Im a volume eater). I try to eat healthier choices most of the time but still enjoy pizza, ice cream once in awhile, in smaller amounts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't call it a rebellious stage, but I have done a lot of 'testing' to see what I can and cannot get away with w/the band and still lose weight. For example, I would love to think of exercise as optional, but in the testing I have done, I HAVE to exercise to lose weight (even w/the band). And, I would've loved to keep my nightly wine habit, but have found that even w/the decreased food calories w/the band, it still does not leave enough room to enjoy wine every night and still lose weight. So, I do a lot of testing and adjusting to see what my new lifestyle needs to be to lose weight and enjoy life. So, I still have wine, but I save it only for social occasions now (maybe once/week). And, I find myself looking for ways I can get extra exercise classes in now rather than seeing how few I can get away with.

As for treats (like candy, ice cream, etc.), I do think there is a fine line between being too rigid (not having any) and too loose (having sweets daily). I just try to make sure I am not indulging every day and when I do, to keep it at around 100 calories. The other day I did steal a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg out of my daughter's Easter basket and gobbled it down. Then, all I could think was 'why did I do that?!?!'. It was 180 calories which is almost as much as the calories I might eat in a whole meal now. And, I have great restriction so its not like I was hungry. I beat myself up a little over that. But, when I got on the scale the next morning, I was down another pound. So, I think sometimes it is good to splurge a little and shake things up w/how you are eating. If you are too rigid all the time then your body will hold on to every little calorie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't beat yourself up! This is a life long eating plan, not a crash diet. I find it's important to treat myself occasionally to make sure I don't feel deprived. Next time though, plan your treat in advance, and maybe choose a healthier alternative, like nonfat frozen yogurt.

This past Easter, I treated myself to 2 pieces of Godiva chocolate. But I made a special trip for it and kinda made an event out of it.

Start journaling everything you eat to get yourself back on track. I use www.myfitnesspal.com. It's great!

Get back on that horse!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Originally Posted by MissyMS viewpost.gif

So grant yourself some grace, and step into today with a fresh heart.

I love this too ! I'm gonna "borrow" it, ok? ;p

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thank you all so so much for the encouraging words!!!! they help lift my spirits so much!!

I think part of my problem is that I also have a pituitary tumor that causes me to have cravings...prior to the band, I may eat Peanut Butter m&m's for a week straight and never want to touch them again....or I might have ate chicken spaghetti for supper 2 weeks straight.

Its really hard dealing with the intense cravings I have....but with ya'lls support..I can make it through this!:confused:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before Dr. Oz had a hit TV show he was co- author of a book called "You on a Diet". In the book he gave me the best encouragement for those days when I have ate a cupcake a co- worker brought to me or when the idea of a Blizzard overtakes me. He said consider GPS. When you are traveling down a road listening to the GPS and you miss your turn.. you are not bombarded with "You big Dummy! What are you doing! You know that's not right!!" Instead in a very emotionless voice without condemnation or disappointment a monotone voice says" at the next available intersection, make a U turn." When the Blizzard whammies have attacked me or the cupcake goonies are on my back, I calmly say "at the next available intersection, I am making a u- turn." With the lap- band journey from time to time I think we all have missed " our turn" and need to make a You- turn. This is not a Christian link, but it is almost the same kind of mercy and grace that God gives us in life. I have just learned to apply it to the lap- band as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×