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WLS poem



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This is a Poem I found on another wls site!

So many nights, I whimpered and cried,

Thought that my prayers had all been denied.

Stuffing my feelings, ashamed of my plight,

Trying to stop, with all of my might.

Shoving in cold spaghetti, at three in the morning,

Frying shrimps by the time the daylight was dawning.

Drinking gallons of soda, my heart wildly beating,

Hating myself, 'cause I couldn't stop eating.

The monster in me would come out to play,

And as much as I begged him, he wouldn't go 'way.

Morning would come, and that is when,

The whole vicious cycle would start once again.

Tears would be streaming, I felt like a cow,

I wanted to stop, but I didn't know how.

Boarding a plane, and seeing the fear

In the eyes of the others..." Don't let her sit here!"

Walking a block, and feeling such pain,

That I went right back home to start eating again.

" Your face is so pretty! Start using your head!"

"Just eat smaller portions, " my family said.

" Put down the fork! Push back from the table!"

That's what my friends said...But I wasn't able.

" Willpower's the secret! We'll help you get through it!"

" TRY HARDER, " they urged...But I couldn't do it.

I tried every diet to get back on track,

I'd lose weight and then just gain twice as much back!

Every morning I'd pray, " God let me be good..."

Then I'd fail once again...and no one understood.

Each new day would bring another attempt,

Each evening would bring still more self-contempt.

Filled with self-loathing, such awful remorse,

Simply unable to get back on course.

Overwhelmed with this state of awful depression,

Giving in to this dark, paralyzing obsession.

I thought to myself, " You'll always be fat.

Accept it, move on! Learn to live with that fact! "

Questioning God and wondering why,

Positive that I was destined to die.

Yet something inside me was whispering, "No..

There MUST be a way. It HAS to be so."

I felt a new person was waiting inside me,

And it was her voice, I permitted to guide me.

I knew I could no longer go on this way,

Desperate and dying, bit by bit, day by day.

So I got on my knees, and prayed for relief,

Then God sent a miracle to lessen my grief.

A way to stop eating, so crazy I thought,

Went against everything I had been taught.

This was my last option, I felt like a jerk

If this didn't do it, then NOTHING would work!

So I trusted the doctors, wholly and blindly,

And my God smiled down, completely and kindly.

An unorthodox treatment, but working so well,

To help lift me OUT of this ongoing hell.

A surgical wonder, that acts as a tool

To battle the fat, which has made life so cruel.

So as scared as I was, I knew I'd get through it...

Since I was so much more afraid not to do it.

And it went very smoothly, and I'm convinced that

That pain was less than the pain of this fat.

Nothing could hurt more than being this size,

While seeing the pity in everyone's eyes.

That part of my life is over and done,

But I'll never forget the place I come from.

I'll always be grateful, I'll always be driven

To bestow upon others the support I've been given.

The obsession has lifted, I'm whole and I'm free,

God and my surgeon gave my life back to me.

I've learned to eat slowly, I've learned how to chew

Enjoying my food, as normal folks do.

I eat when I'm hungry, I stop when I'm not,

Being fat, in this life, will not be my lot.

I eat not for sport, but just to survive,

My whole life is changing...I'm glad I'm alive!

I will reach the goal that I'm aiming toward,

I've truly been blessed...Thank You, Dear Lord.

The peace that I feel is calming and true,

And for those who still suffer...I wish it for you.

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yeah it is a great poem isn't it Michelle? I think I am going to copy it and FRAME it and maybe even make a scrapbook page for my weight loss scrapbook with it. I SO relate to it as I am sure most of us here do.

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Guest pabandgal

very nice thank you for sharing

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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